How do I tell my new colleague to please stop inviting unwanted guests to my party?

I think there is an option on Facebook to approve all prospective group members isn’t there? I don’t know about events, but for groups I know you can. I think you need to confront him straight on and yes, uninvited the people he added. And next time, if you make it a Facebook event, lock that baby up!

Who cares if you look bad? You don’t know these people. You didn’t invite them. Uninvite them and don’t even feel remotely bad about it. Then speak to this man. Tell him you’ve been told he’s invited a number of people to your party. Tell him he can only bring one person and you have uninvited the rest and he needs to make sure it’s clear to the other people that they are not invited.

The man might be a space cadet, but that’s just down right rude. Don’t put up with it. If he gets shirty, get shirty back and tell him he is abusing your good nature and to take a flying leap.

Thanks, I’ve deleted his friends from the event. Luckily according to FB none of them have “seen” it yet.

I’ll also mention it to him tomorrow that I it’s really a plus one only thing.

Good. And remember, if someone is taking advantage of you (and he is) you don’t need to be polite and nice to them. This man went way over the line!

Looks like your party is awesome that’s why he invited so many people..)) Can we get invitation too…?? )))..just kidding.

That is so way over the top it’s ridiculous. If his parents never taught him proper manners/boundaries or he chose not to listen then it’s up to the rest of the real world to teach him how life works.

I don’t care how far in outer space his mind is, you were very clear with him on the plus ONE. Earth only has a limited amount of room (especially in a one bedroom apartment ) so he has to know that he is out of line.

If he doesnt, it’s time he starts. You have been elected to teach this dimwit his first lesson in social appropriateness in the real world. That’s where he lives. So it’s time he starts figuring it out.

You have nothing to apologize for. You told him clearly. He chose to disregard you completely. He’s the one owing you a big time apology.

I would talk to him. Maybe he added people to the group, and didn’t even realize it would allow them to also see the party invite? There might be some sort of innocent explanation. He did ask about bringing a guest, so it seems he is not totally clueless.

You can’t possibly look bad here, that weight lays on his interfering shoulders, shame on him.
Act swiftly & act firmly knowing you have no responsibility for his selfish actions, it’s all on him to placate any offended individual that he now must uninvite.

You did a perfect job, deleting the invite before anyone saw them.

I’m sure it was a misunderstanding. He’s new, ‘a kid’, and enthusiastic. Of course you want to be nice to him. He likely misunderstood the venue and thought he was making you appear super-popular by having a lot of invites.
He might still be equating “party” with college, where you can’t have too many guests, regardless of the space.
I’d think him for his enthusiasm and explain the space/weather constraints. ‘No harm, no foul…you caught it before it got out of hand.’

It’s bad etiquette to entertain friends at someone else’s expense and effort. It’s fine to bring a date or a guest or two to someone’s party, provided the individual gets permission in advance, knows that the host is on board, and doesn’t abuse the hospitality. The stray friend-of-a-friend can make an event even more fun.

But, unilaterally inviting 12 people (!) to someone else’s party is just plain wrong. You’re describing someone young; he might still be living by college rules (let’s all go to a big kegger!) rather than adult norms (we’re talking about your private home, food, and beverages).

If I were in this situation, I’d pull the guy aside for a quiet but firm discussion. I’d tell him that he can bring one guest, and only one guest, to your party. I’d also explain, without anger or accusations, why this is so.

He won’t get this kind of guidance – the sort of help that eases the transition from youth to adulthood – from his own friends; it takes someone more mature. I look back at my first real work experience with a bit of embarrassment, remembering all the silly, girlish things I did, and how my older colleagues took me to task and made me learn.

Let us know what happens.

It’s your house, your party, your money spent on food/drinks, and your responsibility for the people at your house. You won’t look rude for telling your co-worker. He’s the rude one.

@BBSDTfamily Hi! I feel like I haven’t seen you around here in forever. Nice to see you.

It’s been a while! Thank you :)

Yes, just tell him nicely that he went waaay over the top inviting 12 guests and that this isn’t some college keg party where the entire planet shows up to party. haha
Hopefully things will go well and nobody will bring their dog. That happened to me once a few years ago when my boss brought his damn dog to my house for a dinner thing and refused to keep her out on my deck, so my house was invaded by a good sized dog and my 2 cats were about to commit suicide. lol
People!

WHO the hell invites a dozen extra people or brings their dog to someones get together without permission! Pffft!

@Coloma I have brought my dog to house parties, but ONLY after getting the host’s approval in advance. At one event, Sadie was overwhelmed by the huge crowd and all that noise, so she kept barking. I briefly apologized and immediately moved her to the car.

The experience you had? It reminds of people who bring their misbehaving toddlers to pricey, adult restaurants, or their screaming infants to the movies, and think that the disruptions are just-oh-so-cute for everyone else.

@Love_my_doggie Agreed. Toddlers in inappropriate places too. Gah. I liked my bosses dog, a border collie, but since I no longer have a dog my 2 cats were totally freaked out, a predator invading their safe haven of home. I was so pissed off, it was just chaos. lol

Be thinking about what you are going to do when some of numbnut’s friends show up uninvited. They might.
You do not know these people and are not obligated to let them in your house.