Why doesn't my boyfriend give me his active whatsapp account phone number?

Maybe the phone is for family only. When you get married I’m sure he will give you the number.

It could mean something and it might not.

We don’t know him from a hole in the ground. If he is your boyfriend, ask him. If he isn’t boyfriend enough to answer, that tells you something.

But my first reaction: don’t go looking for trouble.

No one has a “second mobile” unless it’s for their job, or they’re doing something shady. I don’t know if it’s drugs or whores, but it sounds like a huge red flag flapping in the breeze to me.

Yep, I’m with @Seek on this one. There’s a small chance it could be nothing, but since you’ve directly brought it up and he beats around the bush, I also consider it a big red flag.

How long have you been dating him?

I agree with @elbanditoroso. We don’t know him or your relationship well enough to even guess. It could be nothing, or it could be a hint of something… but from what you’ve said, I would tend to think it is not nearly enough sign by itself.

If I were you, I would think about all the rest of your relationship with him, and what he’s like, rather than focus on this one thing.

If I couldn’t stop thinking about this phone, I would consider how I found out about the phone itself. If it’s a “naughty phone” is his mind, too, then its existence would seem something he’d want to hide more than the number.

It’s easier for me to think of consistent-seeming reasons why he wouldn’t feel like giving you the number, than it is for me to think of reasons to not give it to you. I don’t agree with @Seek that no one has a second mobile unless it’s for work or shady acts.

One reason to use WhatsApp is to avoid giving out phone numbers. He may value his privacy.

He may also have had exes who did annoying things with his personal contact info, or who would bug him on multiple communication channels. And/or, who were overly suspicious without cause.

It is possible to use WhatsApp without even having a phone number for the device you use it with.

Has he said who who uses WhatsApp to chat with?

There are lots of phones in this house. Older phones we’ve moved on since they’ve been replaced. They still work, we just don’t use them. Does he use this other phone? Does he use whatsapp? If he does, and he’s avoiding giving you the number, I’d say there is something shady going on. I’d be concerned about it.

If it’s just a second phone that he doesn’t use, perhaps there’s nothing to it.

Who says love means never having to say (or hear):

“Sorry, dear, that’s private information that has nothing to do with how much I care for you.”

Sounds shady to me. The immediate thoughts that come to mind are: He’s doing some illegal business with that phone, He has some secret related to the phone, like another lover, a wife, a child from a previous marriage or something that he doesn’t want you to know about, or he works for a government or corporation where secrecy is important like an undercover officer, a spy, or involved in stealing corporate secrets or something.

Honestly though, I’ve got no idea. You’ve told us almost nothing about the guy or your relationship: how long you’ve been dating? if things are otherwise good in the relationship? if he acts weird sometimes? what he does for a living? does he travel on business a lot? etc.

So you asked him a question of -why, and he turned around and said you don’t even bother calling or texting the number you have now.
What was the answer to your question to him?
So it’s your fault he doesn’t give you the number?
Next it will be: ‘this is for your own good’ or ‘because it is such a hassle to explain it to you”, maybe ‘why are you making such a big deal about this?’
Never quiiiiite answering the question.
Uhm, if this isn’t a big deal, why are you bothered?
Listen to your gut. What is a ‘big deal’ to him? He’ll let you know?
Do you want to be around someone whom you really can’t trust enough to be honest?
Or who says that you don’t measure up, so therefore, I don’t have to give you ______. (fill in the blank.)
Drastic jump? Perhaps.
Think hard about why you are accepting something that is really not right.
Think harder on why he thinks you should or have.

He wont give you the phone number because hes hidibg something. Otherwise he woukd give it to you like its nit a big deal.

But to him it is a big deal. Why is anyones guess. Not knowing how long you have been dating makes it difficult to give specifuc advice.

Only you can decide whether this is a deal breaker in your relationship. I know that if i were in a mutually exclusive relationship with someone fir several years and they were acting like this, that would be a huge red flag warning for me and a deal breaker.

Only you can decide what this means for you. If a relationship isnt based on truth and openness then its not much a relationship which will stand the test of time.

If he is dodging providing a specific reason why he has a second phone account then yes he is hiding something.

I don’t know very many people who have two cell phones, not unless it’s for their work. Is he using the second phone for business purposes? My guess is he’shiding something, otherwise, he’d have no problem giving you the number. I wouldn’t push the matter.

@gorillapaws I have to be honest but ever since I met him, I have felt him to be somehow mysterious,doesn’t like people to be up on his business kinda thing,which to a certain point its cool, because is your privacy, but to me he seems highly concerned about that, he does not work, we both study abroad in a foreign country, I don’t know why have 2 cell phones if you don’t work, especially when you can transfer all the info from one cell to another and just have once mobile chip and that’s it, the mobile number that I don’t have is the smartphone one, the one that I do have is from an older smaller mobile (in which he cannot have what sapp obviously) so I don’t know exactly what is the big deal.unless he is doing it to play around with my head or he really has a double life.

@pami16 So he’s an unemployed, 36-year-old guy, doing a study abroad thing? That’s just strange.

If he doesn’t work how does he pay for school and studying abroad? through loans? rich parents? What’s his major? Is he passionate about anything? Is he really tight with money? Does he like the nicer things in life, or go for the cheapest option? are his friends cool? shady?

Maybe it just sounds really sketchy because I don’t know him or all of the details, but from the outside looking in, there are a lot of red flags.

HE’S HIDING SOMETHING FROM YOU!

I think you already know that

@gorillapaws yeah he used to with loans and plus his family helps him, he studied accounting that’s his degree, he likes a little of both worlds cause he is kinda tight with money to be honest,even so that he has never bought me a gift or anything , his past roommate was kinda shady, everytime i went to his apartment i felt as if my boyfriend did not want me to see his roommate and everytime we left he would tell me to not make any noise i guess so that the guy would not come out LOL.lucky me that now he moved to his own little apartment,another weird thing is that he actually has 2 apartments one in the city and one here where we study,since he hates this place he goes on weekends to the city and stays in his other apartment, tha,ts another dilema people ask me how come he is your boyfriend and all the weekends he leaves to the city, he should be with you.

Hmmm.

Let me see if I have this straight:

He’s 36.
Two apartments.
Two phones.
No job that you know of.
Doesn’t want you to know his friends.
Doesn’t spend time with you or invite you to the city apartment.
Doesn’t give gifts.

… Are the alarm bells ringing yet?

If you ask me, you don’t have a boyfriend. You are a weekday booty call.

@pami16: @Seek is right. The writing is on the wall.

@Seek I have been to his city apartment a couple of times,his ex used to live there with him, the only friend of his that i have seen is his ex roommate and I have never even talked to him,and theres some other guy in the city which he has talked to me about but i have never seen him, what are the chances that my boyfriend could be gay, cause I have also suspected this,maybe i’m wrong but god knows.when things are this weird anything is possible ,What are the odds that he is not doing anything wrong even do everything indicates that he is. is a private investigator even worth it?

@pami16
Your wording in your original question shows what you believe. Adding facts into the thread doesn’t change anything.
Reread your own question. Especially near the end.
Then reread all of the responces.
You have your suspicions and your answer, all within your own replies to posts.
Repetitive responces.
You have the answers, even your own.
There’s nothing left. You can’t heal, explain, nor use excuses on this.
Quit beating the poor dead horse with a stick.
He doesn’t like it.
Now run. Run away.
Faster! Go!!!

No. hiring a private investigator isn’t worth it. If you trust him so little that you’re even thinking about that, the relationship is completely doomed anyway. What you need to do is be honest and blunt with him. Tell him there are things that are making you uncomfortable and why they’re making you uncomfortable. However, you need to bring them up in a very calm and mature manner. If, after that, he’s still being vague and you’re not satisfied with the answers, the best thing you could do for both of you is call it off.

You never mentioned how long you two have been together, and I think that’s a really relevant piece of information.

@DrasticDreamer 2 years and 2 months,

@Zaku you are right, actually no he has never told me, what I do remember he said was that in that smartphone he has friends and family from his hometown,I don’t know exactly what he could be doing, Maybe is something maybe it’s not, all I know is that it looks weird and i feel as if he was doing shit behind my back. I do not have all the proof in the world but as @Seek said : we have 2 years and 2 moths, He’s 36.
He hasTwo apartments.(2 small student apartments one here, where i live and go to university and one in the city as well where he leaves from Friday and returns on Monday to assist university as usual)
He hasTwo phones( a small old phone which i have its number,,,and a smartphone which i do not have its number and in which he has whatsapp active.)
He has No job that you know of.(since he studies in university as well as me, his family helps him out, plus loans.)
Doesn’t want you to know his friends.( I only got to see his roommate once and he presented me briefly and that’s it.)
Doesn’t spend time with you or invite you to the city apartment.(We see eachother once a week due to university,and I have only gone a couple of times to his apartment, not many.)
Doesn’t give gifts.(Not til this day.)

The whole phone thing and the apartment thing are to me, two red flags. Do you feel the same, @pami16?

@jca i actually do, that’s why i asked to get honest opinions, cause I like to see both sides of the coins you know, and like I said before what would be the odds that he is not doing anything ,even do everything seems as if he is doing shady shit.

The biggest red flag is that he’s never given you a gift in the 2+ years you’ve dated him. Why the hell would you date a dude like that? He sounds like a selfish prick.

You know, somewhere out there is a guy who will love and adore you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

The more you keep hanging on to this loser, the less you are available to meet Mr Right when he comes along. Think about that.

There’s a really good (and very honest about men) book written by Greg Behrendt titled “He’s Just Not That Into You” (ignore the movie by the same name. It’s useless crap)

He basically encourages women to recognize the signs of a guy who is just keeping you hanging around for his convenience. And he has one really good question which is “Why waste the pretty?”

You should read this book because he is just being totally straightforward about men and the way they typically think.

And he also describes how his own behavior changed dramatically when he met his (then) future wife. He knew that she was the one for him and he wanted to do everything in his power to let her know how much she meant to him. Plus he wanted to make damn sure some other guy didn’t end up with her.

She was at the top of his priority list (and still is today and they are happily married)

It seems like you’re pretty low on your current guy’s priority list. Don’t you deserve better than that? Why waste the pretty?

Everyone here has said this man sounds very shady. Nobody has been able to give you a strong, positive reason why he might have more than one phone, why he hasn’t introduced you to his friends or I’m guessing, his family. I’ve seen no real justification for why he barely spends time with you. If you came back and said he has another girlfriend or wife, I would not be surprised at all.

So, what are you going to do?

Also: the phone number you have is the burner, not the real phone number.

You’re being used. Run away.

I forgot the “no gifts” thing. That’s a little crazy and not something reasonable, in my opinion. Not that you should be showered with jewels and luxury, but you should be receiving small tokens of his affection (and giving, too). Do you give him gifts? Is he not embarrassed to give you nothing?

@Earthbound_Misfit you are right,well his family does not live here were foreigner students, studying abroad not in the us,but yeah i would describe him as having a mysterious
personality that’s the best I can think of, when he left this past december for christmas holidays he called me from the US as an unknown private caller, i just thought why the hell would he called me like that ,whats the big deal if i see his number.with all of these answers I really feel that I have been lying to myself somehow. in Regards to having another women god knows, i would not doubt anything,i like to see both sides of the coin.

@Seek Im surprised, he gave me a gift today for valentines,i was not expecting it,somehow it shut my mouth, but since my mind is constantly thinking, i was like does he perhaps feel guilty for something or did he genuinely give me the gift because he wanted to,just a curiosity that happened to pass by my mind, I’m not implying anything?
@Earthbound_Misfit @jca

Pam maybe he saw this thread, figured out you’re on to him so he decided to throw you off.

Crumbs from the master’s table.

Frak him, there are 3.5+ billion men in the world. He’s not the be all and end all.