Care to share a few favorite fun fart factoids?

Some potters fart into their raw materials before they begin to shape the bowls. They do this frequently when making ceramics that commemorate US Heavyweight boxers.

They call it “Gaseous Clay”.

The fraternity dog turned 3, and we had a party to celebrate. The dog got a big chunk of cheese for his birthday, which had the effect of giving him pretty bad gas.

In the middle of the party, with a lot of cute girls there, the dog let one go in passing. Three of us immediately turned to one guy and shouted “Bill! go outside!”

When you are older you can’t trust that a fart would be dry.

Q: Why don’t little girls fart?

A: Because they don’t have assholes until they’re married.

There is a great movie called “Thunderpants”, about a little boy farting a rocket into space.

Johnny Fartpants is a character in Viz magazine.

The average person farts around 14 times (Mom would be so proud, for the first time I am above average) and produces about half a liter of farts every single day, and even though many women won’t admit it, women do fart just as often as men. In fact, a study has proven that when men and women eat the exact same food, woman tend to have even more concentrated gas than men.

I just farted.

Breastfed baby farts smell like buttered popcorn

I read (maybe heard) a story that because socially women are kind of expected to hold their farts in… women have measurably more hydrogen** in their blood—because eventually the gas is absorbed into the bloodstream—it’s got to go somewhere!

**(I think??? It was something like that… I couldn’t re-find the article… although now I have so many new answers for this question…)

Family story. According to my aunt. She had made some chili for her family one night—with a whole bunch of beans, and meat, and vegetables (maybe for some odd reason, cabbage? I think I’m making that part up. But let’s say cabbage, too, just to really pile it on). It was potent stuff. And they all loved it, ate it up. The next day at work she realized just how potent… as she was in an elevator (alone), she felt the gas. It made its presence known. It wanted to be released. She said she could just tell it was going to be bad, so she held it as long as she could (small, confined space + voluminous, odorous gas…), until finally she couldn’t any longer and it spread into the elevator. It was, apparently, noxious. I can’t remember the adjectives she used to describe it… just that when the elevator doors opened she was gagging. And there was “some poor soul” standing outside, waiting for the elevator. She didn’t warn him (mortified or couldn’t get her breath back, I’m not sure), but she said she looked back for a moment as the doors shut, sealing in his fate. At this point she holds her hands up in the air like she’s pressing against glass, and projects an expression of utter horror: this, she says, was his expression in those final seconds, as the final inches of the elevator closed him in with the power of her chili.

Why am I even following this???

OK, some farts can’t be ignored, no matter how gracious one is. When I worked at Boeing Computer Services I was heading back to the tape room while my coworker, Eby, was coming out. Just as I passed him I hit a wall, it FELT like a literal WALL! of fart gas! I involuntarily cried, “EBY!!!” I couldn’t help but cry out. It was bad. So bad. I kinda wanted to punch him.

James Herriot writes of a wonderful dog that no one could keep because his farts were continuous and deadly.
Then an old sheep herder volunteered to take the dog. Herriot was visiting one day, several weeks later, and the dog just kept cutting loose with a series of deadly farts, but the old sheep herder didn’t bat an eye. He just kept talking about what a wonderful, good ole’ dog the dog was, “Aye, an canny he is.”
Well, it finally came out that the old sheep herder had lost his sense of smell as a boy.
It was a match made in heaven.

@ibstubro , you saucy old fart, where do you come up with these things?

When I was a kid, some of us in school made a game of it. Gas would inevitably happen sometimes through the day, so although we would try to keep them sucked in, sometimes they’d skveak by. We would then shout out what we thought the person had eaten for dinner.

Fluther listed this as a question I would have interest in. Why? I have never uttered this nasty word in my life and was raised believing that discussing bodily gas exits are for home. I raised my own girls with the word poot. Once as we sat on the first row of of a pageant in the sanctuary of our Church, my three year old heard that familiar sound from behind us and blurted out that ‘someone pooted.’ I wanted to evaporate but as families do, the whole congregation broke into laughter and then the presentation continued. How times do change. As a child I would have gotten a real spanking for that upon arrival at home.

When I was doing an addition to a house the contractor’s estimate included the cost for installing a ‘fart fan’ in the bathroom. I almost fainted when I saw it. I told him and he laughed until he cried.

Old Bub, Hubby’s dog that passed some years back, was afraid of nothing in the world… Except his own farts.

He’d let one rip, then jump up and book it out of the room.

@MollyMcGuire I am so with you. My kids were not allowed to use the F word.
When I had the day care, one kid came to me, tattling on my son. The kid whispered, “Chris said the F word!”
I couldn’t resist. I whispered back, “Which F word.”
“FART!” the kid whispered back, just aghast.
I had to giggle.
But…as you can see, I’ve started easing up a little…..LOL! About a year ago my son, who was 28 at the time, said something like, “Oopps, I just fa…” I glared at him. ”interject back peddling choking sounds fa….fa…flatulated!”

Farting is a fetish I think because when I hear my wife fart I get an erection for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’m a butt guy, I don’t know.

I made love to ya all night long
then i got up to write you a song
i watched ya sleep and i fell in love
ya must’ve been sent from heaven above
don’t think you could never do no wrong

then you farted….
oh girl you farted..

first i thought that it was kinda cute
i suppressed a smile when i heard your girly poot
then the smell came whoftin by
and brought a little tear drop to my eye
i think that i’ll go sleep out on the couch

cause you farted…

you could make milk curdle
make your skin crawl
make the paint peel off of the wall
i won’t sleep under them covers no more
since the hot winds blew from out your back door

baby, it sure has been a gas
but somethin’ up and died inside your ass
and sure as hell that my name is stephen
it’s about time that i got even
get ready for the magic im about to pass…

i..i think i shat my pants.

Dog just let rip in my bed under my nose! What do they put in that dog food?

Drinking three pitchers of microbrewery craft beer and letting it ferment in your gut for 8–10 hours may result in flatulence noxious enough to make sailors standing in formation on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier break ranks and reform 20–30 feet upwind. Multiple people emitting such flatulence can cause the division downwind to likewise relocate.

When I went to church as a child, one of the older gentlemen was near us kids when a little girl farted. She was embarrassed, and real quick he said “I heard an angel speak.” We all laughed and the moment lightened.

@Jak I like your story. It reminds me of a friend whose daughter let go of her helium balloon and it drifted away. She was not consolable. That evening she went with him to get the mail from the box and found a letter from the angels thanking her for the beautiful balloon. :)

@Jak
That is two levels of creep

@MollyMcGuire – that poor child, deceived by parents. She probably had a nervous breakdown when she realized the truth.

In my younger drinking days I was a champion fart lighter. Key to success is tight jeans

@Judi – were those the days when you wore hot pants?

One night I was sitting on the deck here and farted, a chirpy little fart and a tree frog croaked back. lol
The great mating call apparently.

My father had open heart surgery, following a massive heart attack. He was very weak afterwards. The doctor told him not to restrain from passing gas, because it would put a strain on his heart.
In the months after, we were courteous about not complaining about his flatulence. I often suspect he was enjoying himself more than he let on.

According to snopes, it is NOT true that a Florida man died by lighting farts in a meth lab.

But it is good for a laugh.

Thanks, all. I literally had tears in my eyes, and it wasn’t all from the can of butter beans I ate for lunch!
What a glorious way to welcome “Questions for You” back!!

There Are Lots of Different Words For Fart

After dinner mint
Air biscuit
Barking spider
Benchwarmer
Bottom burp
Burp out the wrong end
Butt yodeling
Cheek squeak
Cut the cheese
Dropping stink bombs
Fire in the hole
Lay an egg
Morning thunder
Toot your own horn

to name a few?

I had never heard a woman fart until I was in college. I wasn’t sure they did. Then I dated a girl that was as flatulent as I was and very loud! What a sheltered life I led.

“The average person farts around 14 times.” @rojo.
Per what?
Per hour?
It’s bean and chili soup weather!

I used to blame my dog for farts before I found out that EVERYBODY blames the dog!

Women don’t fart. They fluff.

You can actually light a fart on fire. Trust me on this, I have done it, many times. It never gets old, like this clip

I’m a farting machine!
Watch me get down!
Watch me get down!
And rip rip rip major ass
right on the scene!

@ibstubro average person farts around 14 times (Mom would be so proud, for the first time I am above average) and produces about half a liter of farts every single day

SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.

According to Eric Partridge in his excellent book of word origins , our word fart comes from the Old English word feortan, presumably of echoic origin, meaning that the word was chosen to sound like the object named.

“Fun Fart Factoid” – At eight, I am now officially over the halfway mark in my MDFR (Minimum Daily Fart Requirement) and it is not even 8:30 yet!

When I was a kid, I was somewhat famous for my flatulence. At one time I was christened with the nickname “Knife” for cutting the cheese.

Starlet Jessica Simpson said she does it 250 times a day.
Whoopi Goldberg sounds like a Whoopie Cushion, so that is how she received her name.
Marilyn Monroe did it quite often, according the her longtime maid Lena Pepitoni. She giggled when it was extra loud.
Jenny McCarthy has done it on TV shows often.
Eva Mendes is noted for doing it.
Vanessa Marcil did it on a “TV Bloopers” show.
Baseball legend Babe Ruth loved to take the stage at parties and tell a woman to pull his finger.
Actor Marlon Brando once told the President of France’s daughter-in-law to pull his finger.
Golfer Tommy “Thunder” Bolt was fined for doing it during the 1959 Memphis Open.
Some say George Clooney likes the “Pull My Finger” gag.