What to do about a friend who won't help himself?

Let him find his own way. We can’t change anyone, and it is wise to remember how hard it is to make changes in ourselves, let alone thinking we can change others.
It is fine to offer help/advice if asked for, but everyone has to find their own way. A lot of people, younger and older have a hard time finding their place in life, work, and we have to free people to be themselves and accept them for who they are.

If someone rejects your advice or suggestions that is their right and is nothing personal.
Certain personality types have a harder time with self discipline and finding one thing to focus on and following through. Just be supportive and encouraging of his interests and if you find that you cannot stop feeling critical of him and just enjoy the things about him that you like then it is best that you let him go as a friend. Unless he is involved in extremely destructive behavior we all have to free others to be themselves, make their own mistakes and choices and refrain from judgment if they don;t do things the way you think they should.

Don’t “should” on yourself, and especially not on others.

There is nothing that you can do to make someone change themselves. Absolutely nothing. They have to sincerely want to change.

If I were you, I would focus on your own life and not obsess about your friend.

Encourage your friend to pursue his own dreams… Not your solutions.

As other have said in different ways, there’s only so much you can do—the rest is up to him. Just keep letting him know you’re his friend and always ready to help him in any way he asks (including running lines).

I don’t think you should tell him this, but between you and me, if he’s truly “tired of auditions for small role and minimum wage career” then he’s probably not cut out for an actor’s life and should move on to trying to decide on another career.

Live your life, not his. And let him live his own life.

The trick in not being enabling is to not get drawn into his problems. Be supportive, be encouraging, but only give advice if asked. Only give assistance if asked and if he agrees to use it.

Are you sure he is excited about joining the army or is he just trying to win your approval? I don’t know your friend so I’m not going to speculate on the sincerity of how excited he truly is or was about that.

But based on what you have told me here, I find it difficult to believe that he was as excited as he may be letting on. Seems to me that your friend would really like to be in the entertainment industry in some regard. The acting wasn’t working out for him the way he anticipated; so now he wants to start a podcast.

My advice is to listen to what he wants in life and offer advice that will enable him to aim to achieve this. You really meant well by helping him prepare for the army, but it really doesn’t sound like that is the sort of life he wants for himself. You’re going to have to accept that. Telling a person what career path to go down, may not actually be in his best interests. Honestly joining the army would have been a distraction and I think it might have made him feel quite miserable. Its just not who he is. By the sounds of things, it doesn’t seem that is who he is.

I think you should, as many others have suggested; let him find his own way. As for the weight, if he really wants to lose it; he will in his own time.

I think it is wonderful your friend has you to believe in him and be so supportive.
We each have to choose our own road to travel. I would guess your friend is feeling that the army is not the road for him.
Sometimes choosing a direction is difficult, and even after we have made a choice, the pursuit of our dreams can get quite tricky.
Acting is a tough pursuit for certain, and almost all who go that direction become disappointed and feeling lost somewhere along the way.
He may yet find his niche there.
You have been a good friend. Just because your friend has chosen not to go the army way doesn’t mean he does not care about your help. He just needs you to help him a different way.
Talk with him. He may not know right now exactly what kind of help he wants or needs. Sometimes just listening while he talks over his choices is the best help you can give.
Your friend is fortunate to have your support. Don’t lose heart now. With your understanding, he will find his way.

Leave him alone. I don’t like to give up on people but lazy and stupid are hard things to cure. He seems to fall into the lazy category. I hate few things more than lazy.

@MollyMcGuire That’s quite an assumption about someone you don’t even know. What gives you the impression this person is ” stupid” anyway? All that was said is that he didn’t take the OPs advice of maybe joining the army. Anyone that aspires to be an actor or a radio show host is a creative type and creative is hardly synonymous with ” stupid.”

Your definition of “lazy & stupid” could be re-framed to ” easy going and follow the beat of my own drummer.” Just because someone is confused about what career path to take or isn’t cut out to be a soldier and wishes to pursue a more creative path hardly makes them lazy. Pffft!

From my experience of workin with people who needed help I found what was common was that they were depressed,min a rut and did not know what direction to go in or what to do to be able to go forward. First I befriended them, gained their trust, let them tell me their story then made suggestions to them about what they could do for the better. If they agreed then here’s the big part, you aid them , small steps but together. They could change things with someone helping to motivate them. It worked with many of my clients. People don’t like to do things on their own most of the time. A job shared is a job halved. Try it with your buddy