What assumptions do you make?

One assumption that gets me into trouble emotionally is that if someone doesn’t respond to a text or e-mail I send in a timely fashion or at all they don’t like me any more. I assume rejection.

I had a job where I judged people for a living, based on what I read about them, how they treated their kids, the condition of their apartments, etc.

Do I judge people in every day life? Sure. There was a Jelly on here a few months ago (a Jelly who is still with us but told us he was taking a break), who told us he was asking a woman what time it was late at night, on an empty street, and the woman kept walking and would not give him the time. He was a large man with a beard (he willingly told the site his name and posted his photo as avatar). Several jellies tried to explain to him that the woman was probably scared. He was saying how could that be and several jelly ladies were trying to explain. This is one example of how we judge people. I would have felt the same way as the lady on the street. Safety first, and if I’m wrong, I’m wrong.

Just having read what @janbb wrote above, I might assume the same thing. When I send email or text, I assume the person is reading it expeditiously, and when not responded to, I start to wonder.

I always assume people don’t like me, think I’m annoying, would be better off without me, and that they don’t think I’m worth anything.

I make huge assumptions every day. My life depends upon it!
I drive on 2 lane roads every day and I assume the drivers of the cars heading in my direction will stay to their right and not swerve into my lane. With closing speeds well in excess of 100mph, 160 kph, it would be lights out before I had a chance to react. Yet I trust my life to the unknown drivers heading in my direction. I assume they feel the same way.

I did self awareness work years ago but it is always something we need to stay on top of, especially during times of stress when our minds and thoughts are prone to making up stories, often negative stories and assumptions about situations. I try to be conscious of when I am making assumptions and from experience know that I am incorrect most of the time when jumping to conclusions about certain situations and people. OTOH I am also highly intuitive and have also learned that I can trust my judgments as well, soooo….it can often be a double edged sword, not assuming but also not ignoring ones inner voice that is often quite accurate in it;s knowing.

I assume the oppostie @LuckyGuy. I assume the oncoming driver WILL swerve into my lane and I’m always ready for it. I assume that guy is going to run that stop sign or red light.
It may sound like I must exhaust myself when I drive, but I don’t. I’ve done it from day one, and all of the assumptions and preparations go on mostly in my subconscious.

It’s funny that you asked this questions…a couple of Jellies on another thread stated that civilizations started with white people. Nothing could be further from the truth, of course.
One of them is racist, however, but the other is not. I found that particular Jelly’s assumption most interesting.

That liberals are open minded.

And compassionate.

If I really thought the oncoming car was going to swerve into my car, I’d be ditching my own car into the bushes to avoid it. Of course, there are not always bushes on the right. I’d also be a wreck with anxiety thinking I was going to die with every car that came my way. It wouldn’t be a realistic way to drive or live, and then I’d probably stay home due to anxiety. My point is that I am like @LuckyGuy. I am assuming the oncoming car is going to stay in his lane.

As I said, @jca (perhaps you missed it) It may sound like I must exhaust myself when I drive, but I don’t. I’ve done it from day one, and all of the assumptions and preparations go on mostly in my subconscious.

Hmmm. regarding driving, I assume that the element of surprise is never far awayand that I have to remain alert and vigilant. I don’t even make a right turn if a car coming from my left towards me is signaling because I’ve assumed that the person was going to make a turn on previous occasions and they did not and almost rear-ended or t-boned me.

I think it’s important as well to remember that we cannot define people based on just one or two particular orientations. We are all so multi-faceted. I’m a little bit country and more than a little bit rook-n-roll, I am liberally liberal and conservatively conservative depending on the issues. I am intellectually classy and physically present as a bohemian down to earth type.
Don’t judge me on the days I am mucking around in my wacky PJ’s feeding horses at 8 a.m. looking like a hillbilly bag lady with hay in her her hair, by the car I drive, by the clothes I wear…wow, I feel a song coming on. lol

Operational Paranoia.
Until proven otherwise, assume that everyone is your enemy.
It really is the only sensible way to live.

@Dutchess_III I think we give ourselves more credit than we deserve. (Is that another assumption?) On a 2 lane road with tiny soft shoulders there is no time to swerve If the oncoming car wants to hit you. You’re reaction time can’t do it. In a quarter of a second both cars have moved ~50ft. The oncoming car can get you before you can blink. But 99.999% (maybe add another one or 2 9s) of the time they don’t. You just pass each other with no problem.

We also assume the food we eat does not have poison in it. That can of corn could be laced with a rodenticide but we still believe it is fine. We assume the FDA and other inspectors did their job.

I assume the crash position whenever the wife turns the oven on to bake.

I always assume that nothing should be assumed.

I also assume the money handed to me is real, that banks will let me withdraw what I put in, that my 401k won’t be stolen – and if it is, that the ammunition will work.

Right now I have been making assumptions every day trying to predict what the hell my MIL wants and thinks and it’s practically impossible to guess correctly.

I assume certain jellies here are trustworthy because of the time I’ve known them and the help they have given me in the past.

I assume doctors aren’t going to listen to me. Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m surprised and they do.

I always assume my knowledge to be imperfect, but my principles to be as good as gold. But I also acknowledge that my knowledge of my principles is also imperfect, so there’s that, too.

^^I absolutely love your answer^^

If we could actually recognize and examine our assumptions, there would be less conflict and distress in the world. It’s not the assumption itself that’s so bad. It’s the unawareness of it as an assumption.

That people do things the exact same way as me. With needing so many people coming to my house, day in and day out, doing things for me, I am slowly (too slowly) learning to explain exactly how I want something done. Not everyone is happy about this, some people take it as a personal insult I think but it is just something I need to do, to retain any sense of independence. Not to mention, to eat the food I want to eat, cooked in the way I want it cooked, or as close to that as possible.

@LuckyGuy Oh, I know. Sometimes you have to just assume the oncoming car isn’t going to do anything stupid. If it’s night, and a person is coming toward me with brights on, and refuses to dim them, for the last 200 feet or so I just concentrate on the white line at the edge of the highway. It means I’m taking my attention completely off of what’s ahead, including the other driver (and I can’t see what’s ahead anyway,) but simply ensuring that I’m staying on the road.
It makes me SO uncomfortable, put I just have to throw my trust out there.

Again, having done it so long, I’ll occasionally check out what the road is beside me, and think, “If I HAD to I could throw this car over the ditch, hope I make it, and get it stopped before it hits that embankment. I could throw it into a couple of 360’s, maybe, if I land with the wheel turned.”
On the other hand, I never do anything when I’m driving other than drive (and listen to the radio) so during quiet times it’s more of a bored, flight of fancy kind of thing.

I can tell you this, I see bad situations developing long before my husband. For example, we were on a through street, speed limit 50, and there was some dude at a stop sign. He was on the phone, arm resting against the window, looking upset and bored…..I had a bad feeling. Sure as hell, his foot relaxed on the brake and he started rolling.
I yelled, “HE’S ROLLING! HE’S ROLLING, RICK!!”
It was another second or so before Rick even realized it, and he threw the car into the oncoming lane (no one in it thank goodness,) and laid on the horn, missing the guy by about a foot. Scared the bejebus out of the guy, who looked up in shock, looked around confused that he was somehow in the middle of the intersection.
But I just KNEW it was going to happen. 9 times out of 10 I’m right.