Why would someone repeat something they overheard when they know that no good can come from the retelling?

Your question suggests that people only should speak to further their agenda. Is that how you feel?
Should people not share when others are upset with those that upset them?
If I were to assign blame here, it would be to the Mother for not controlling her child’s mouth.

It i the mother’s way of telling her own mother what a lousy job the grandmother did in raising her, and she has passed it on to the granddaughter.

The object would appear to be to teach the grandmother the consequences of overindulging a thoughtless kid and show the daughter the consequences of thoughtless outbursts. Apparently the grandmother got the message, and the grandaughter has a long future of empty cards, each of which reinforces the lessons of her mistake. As for the ehics involved regarding the mom in the middle, I wouldn’t be so sure that she hasn’t done the other 2 girls a worthwhile service.

Not everything that falls from you mouth needs to be held up for public consumption. Yes, what the daughter said was unsavory but I’m not sure it needed to be regurgitated to the grandmother. My mother sends me $199 on my birthday every year. I don’t want the money and wish she would use it on herself instead. But if I said that I wouldn’t want someone to tell her that I was unappreciative.

Personally, in this case, I think the mother did a service to both the daughter and the grandmother. The snotty, entitled little witch got a nice dose of instant karma and the mother, most likely, did not use the explicit language but felt the grandmother should know the girls bad attitude should not be rewarded any longer.

People who “expect” things like cash from relatives irk me in a way that makes my blood boil.

If the granddaughter learned anything from the experience, unlikely as that sounds, then I would say that some good did come of it. Apparently the grandmother did. Pain is an effective teacher.

The daughter also had something to learn. I’ll bet she behaved or behaves differently from her mother when it comes to her own giving habits.

However, I doubt that the daughter’s action was motivated by goodwill. So the outcomes do not justify her thoughtless behavior toward her mother.

I had a strong instinct as @zenvelo did. Pea pod.

I think spite had a hand in it, @stanleybmanly. Maybe all 3 feeding an unhealthy relationship?

And, yeah, @Jaxk I think sometimes we say things in front of people that we’re ‘close’ to that’s extreme with the expectation they understand there’s a certain tongue-in-cheek, too. You’re mom probably gets more than $200 worth of pleasure sending you the money.

Yup, the mom in the middle repeated the exact words, @Coloma. No, subtle, “Well, T mentioned there was nothing in the card.” Discontent all around.

Yes, but if your adult kid said something rude about your mother skipping a regular cash gift, would you gain by telling mom? @ARE_you_kidding_me

No, in this case, @Jeruba, I think it just ended with everyone being a little hurt over everyone’s action. Well, but the mom-in-the-middle, who obviously didn’t give a damn if her kid never got another gift.

@ibstubro Well, who knows what the moms motive was, maybe she has been sharing that the grand daughter is giving her a hard time and just blurted it out in the heat of the moment. I had a spat with my adult daughter last week and was none too pleased with her attitude about something and I told her that I had shared with a couple friends and what their thoughts were. It opened her eyes to being a little more conscious of how she can come across at times, and she apologized for her bitchy moment. My daughter and I have had maaaybe 3 fights in the last 10 years and I am normally very patient and easy going but this time I was royally pissed off at her, sometimes, know it all, young upstart attitude.

We worked things out yesterday and neither of us are grudge holders, but she needed to be smacked down a peg or two and hearing a couple of other opinions did the trick. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

Yeah, @Coloma, but there’s a huge difference between taking someone down a peg and making one wrong into two.
I agree that she could have taken the daughter down a peg, but I doubt that causing more bad blood in the immediate family was the best way.

I don’t know why you think that nothing good could come from the retelling.

The granddaughter learned that there are consequences for being a spoiled , entitled, ungrateful prissy little butch with a big mouth. Hopefully, in the future she will opt to hold her tongue and have a bit more appreciation and gratitude for the love showered upon her, even if it is in the form of cash.

I think any lesson the granddaughter learned was probably off-set by the mutual bad blood, @Buttonstc. I’m thinking the amount involved was no more than $100 and possibly as little as $20.

I think the granddaughter was likely just being glib, and that the chances of her saying anything if the grandmother had been present was about nil.

Selfishness is all I can think of.

The females in my family were intensely jealous of each other, and I think there might be a strong thread of that running here. Hurting each other for sport.

@ibstubro Ugh…that’s never a good thing. I am a female and I can’t stand jealous, petty, backstabbing, gossipy women.

Because the mother might be tired of how spoiled and entitled her daughter (granddaughter in your scenario) is.

The mother could be venting to her own mom. Maybe they have talked before about how the granddaughter has become a pain in the neck the last few years. Who knows.

Aside from your example, people tell things for all sorts of reasons. To fill silent air, to make a connection with someone, to feel better about themselves, to drive home a point they have been trying to make. The last one I think I’ve done more than once, and I need to put that in check probably.

Well, they’re all setting up the next generation.
There’s a post-toddler great-granddaughter that’s adorable, yet already out of control.