Why am I so angry lately about everything?

I, too, am frustrated because my life seems to be being pulled out from under me, and I don’t seem to be in a position to influence that.
I, too, am angry about everything lately. I have probably been at that longer than you have, and I can tell that it’s very self defeating. The madder you get, the more people draw back from you and the more frustrating it gets.

First, can you find a ride to the church choir? You might have to bend a little, ask a little, impose a little, but at this point it’s worth it. I can tell you’re very independent, but this is important, and hopefully you only have to ask once. You should be able to get the sheet music on your Kindle?

Is there some place you can volunteer? Food pantry? Something like that, where you help people but don’t have to have perfect vision?

My time is short right now. I’ll re-visit later when there are other responses.
Hang in.

@yankeetooter: Is your diabetes not under control? What does the doctor say. (Not looking to turn this into a medical issues thread, just wondering if you’ve addressed it with the doctor)

Oh I have. They keep telling me that I just have to wait for my eyes to clear up and that there’s nothing they can really do. They have done laser eye surgery which is supposed to prevent any further bleeding but its not working. And yes, my diabetes under control I’m doing really well with it. So I just can’t understand why I’m still having issues. That’s a source of frustration in and of itself in that I am doing all the things I need to be doing: taking my medicine, watching my diet, maintaining my blood sugar, and yet I’m still having this issue. As far as getting a ride to church nobody lives up this way. They all live down why where the Church is, so that getting a ride would be pretty difficult especially since there’s a $4 toll one way.

Maybe the minister can reach out to the congregation and see if anyone will volunteer to go out of their way, and you can offer to pay the $4 toll and occasionally chip in for gas (or give them some brownies or something to sweeten the deal).

It would be $16 every time I went to church, as it would be $4 for the person to come up my way, $4 to drive back to church, $4 to drive me home from church and $4 the drive back home themselves. I just don’t have that money to reimburse somebody every time I want to go to church. It would be different if they lived by me and we’re driving that way anyway then we could split the tolls but I don’t have the money to pay for four trips every time.

@yankeetooter: Then maybe there’s a member of the congregation that will offer to pay the whole thing, or maybe one can drive you one way and another can take you home. You don’t know until you ask.

@yankeetooter: Another option is get a ride to the bridge/toll, walk through and then have someone pick you up on the other side.

Another option is find a church closer to home, or alternate, primary church/closer church.

Your anger is completely normal. Recognize that at least right now a large part of your life is full of frustration. Don’t fight the anger. Feel it.

Then let it pass.

Feel it. Then let it pass.

Letting it pass is key. Don’t live in the anger. Get to the other side. It’s there you can find some peace.

Feel the anger, and let it pass.

Seems totally understandable you are a little on edge and angry. You’re going through some loss now. Not fun. Should your eyesight get better if the diabetes is controlled better? Or, is the sight problems the type of thing that doesn’t recover?

I think you need to figure out how to adjust and compensate for some of these problems you are having now and then you hopefully will feel better and less prone to anger.

Give yourself a break. Geesh, it’s a lot of crap, let people close to you know some of what you are dealing with so they can help you and be patient.

@yankeetooter Just my opinion here but it seems to me that the way you feel is a LOGICAL consequence of what is changing/happening in your life right now! And you need to feel what you feel and move through it and eventually past it. Feelings are not right or wrong. They just are. I know it is very hard.

Have you practised Yoga before? Check if you have anyone taking Yoga classes in your area. Meditation is a very effective way to bring down anxiety levels and bring a feeling of calmness irrespective of the situation.

Anger is the second stage of the classic model of grief, after denial. Getting diagnosed with a chronic illness is absolutely a grieving process. Would you say that you only recently accepted your diagnosis as real and permanent, out of curiosity? I myself got caught up in the anger stage for a very long time when coping with my illness. Hell, it’s been almost ten years now and I’m only up to bargaining. We all move at our own pace.

By the way, any good programming IDE will let you increase the font size, or is that not the issue? Let me know if I can help.

Increasing font size what would they do so much. I guess because there is the issue of the film a vision so its different then just wasn’t finding the Prince smaller which happens to all of us as we get older. I was actually doing OK with my diagnosis from last year. & I was managing my diabetes actually enjoying eating healthier and looking forward to having to be on less medication. But I am having trouble dealing with is that even after jumping through all the hoops and what have you, I’ve developed this problem with my eyes which is recoverable, but there doesn’t seem to be any average timeline to it so that I don’t know how long it will be before it gets better. I would understand if there were definite steps I need to take to help and improve and cause them follow through on those steps. But somehow, knowing that there really isn’t anything I can do to help speed up the process is the most frustrating thing in the world.

It feels like a personal insult when you try so hard to be well and yet your bodies insists upon being awful to you. I am glad the eye problems are recoverable but I can imagine how frustrating it must be not to know the timeline and to feel so powerless.

I wonder if there are any special monitors out there that can display in high contrast or something to make the screen more readable.

I think you have every right to feel the way you do. That is very frustrating! I would suggest to see your doctor and get some recommendations. I also would suggest maybe seeing a therapist because it’s always relieving to just spill out your frustrations and talk to someone about them.

I’m hoping they will have more answers than I do, and I hope everything turns out ok. Life gets tough when the things you love feel like they are being stripped away.

Keep us updated if you can! I wish you the very best!

I am going t state the obvious here but after reading the OP I think it can all be summed up with the last line: “I am so frustrated with my life the way it is at this moment” Until you come to grips with this and figure out how to change your life for the better the anger and resentment is only going to build within you.

@yankeetooter :: Do you have wifi at church and your house? If the answer is yes I could send you two iPhones that can do facetime So you could telecommute church. They don’t need a cell connection for Facetime. It works over Wifi.

@rojo I agree. I can’t really offer any advice as I’m going through much the same thing right now, but I can say that the anger and resentment won’t disappear unless the root cause of the frustration is found and dealt with.

My mom was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 5 years ago. It was the reason I moved in with her back then so I could help take care of the lawn/garbage/kitchen. I moved out about two years later once she learned to cope with it. It is really a fucked up thing. She had eye problems too and we had to modify her computing. Tweak Windows and move her to a iPhone 6+.

Personal opinion here, but I don’t think it’s fair to say to OP “you need to change your life.” The thing that’s frustrating her is very much not her fault and very much out of her control. Yes, I’m sure there are small changes she could make, but the big thing seems to be her health.

It’s funny because after the “boss” question, I thought the big thing was the job, but I think it’s a combination of frustration at the job plus the health issue.