Why don't girls approach guys they like?

Do you just approach someone you don’t know well? You can’t assume that the girls like you. They may just view you as another person and has no interest. Even if any of them like you approaching like that is just too… weird right?

And maybe they don’t even look at you, so they just look away because their focus isn’t you.

They do when they get more mature.

^ Yes, they do. It does take achieving a certain amount of confidence and also some finesse so that one doesn’t make a fool of oneself.

It’s hard to believe that even in 2016, in an era where women have equal rights and have achieved all that they have… that there is still this sex role imbalance. Many women revert to the “let the guy make the first move” stance.

You ask a good question.

Of course, @Mimishu1995 may be right – maybe they don’t approach you because they really don’t like you. Impossible to know. Women are inscrutable.

If a woman doesn’t approach you, she’s either old-fashioned, manipulative, or afraid.

If a woman approaches you for friendly conversation without the intent of pursuing a sexual or romantic liaison, she’s a friend-zoning bitch.

If a woman approaches you because she thinks you’re attractive and would like to pursue a sexual or romantic liaison, she’s a loose whore who may end up drugged and raped and then blamed for it.

We literally cannot win no matter what we do. Thus, the default is to do nothing, speak to no one, and buy our own damned drinks.

I think you may be reading too much into women who happen to notice you.

@Seek Damn, I really don’t think it’s that extreme.

@ARE_you_kidding_me I agree with you. I haven’t found the men around me so judgmental and unapproachable.

Exhibit A: This question, for a single example. OP sees woman looking at him. Looks back. Gets caught, woman looks away. He does nothing. It is now her fault that there was no communication between them.

Exhibit B (please read several of the proposed definitions)

Exhibit C

I’ve always approached men I like, I am a gregarious type and not afraid to strike up conversations with perfect strangers, crack jokes and I have an entertaining personality. I had the entire line at my bank laughing last week and spent about 15 minutes chatting up several gentlemen about my age in line,that culminated in a group hug when I was leaving and my statement to others in line to “have fun, make friends, it’s a long line.” haha
A few years ago I had a flirtatious moment with a guy at a salad bar and when I returnd to my table I wrote him a note on a napkin and had the server deliver it to him. He was very flattered and we went out a few times. .

Nothing super romantic came of it but we had fun and one must be bold.

^^Yep. I think the only rule left is that one is not to scare the horses.

They do.

Maybe you’re doing something wrong?

Girls looking away may not be a good sign. There is possibility that you’re assuming something which doesn’t exist in the first place. Forget about them approaching you. Why don’t you take it ahead and talk to them?

As we get older, we become more crafty about making an approach. We let the men think they are doing the select and pursue, but indeed it is engineered firstly by us.

@Here2_4 and that’s the honest truth. Women do most if not all of the choosing.

Some girls do. I asked my now-husband out for our first date. But you can’t assume every girl looking at you likes you.

Some girls do. I’m pretty aggressive in that arena (though it helps that I’m usually just looking to fuck when I’m interested in a guy). But there’s a huge background of female socialization that keeps most from just coming right up to people. And like @Seek pointed out, there’s a lot of real-world stuff to reinforce that socialization. Often times, the only socially acceptable power women have is to shut down a come on (not that everyone understands that no means no). We also have to dance around male egos. So it’s not really a surprise that we adopt strategies where we can exert some amount of hidden control over who comes up to us.

@seek
I hope you were just trolling. If not, life is just too short to walk around with that mindset.

We get approached all the time and sometimes just want to have a nice drink with our girlfriends

Not every cute guy needs to be asked out, there are plenty of fish in the sea

She might not feel like socializing with a stranger right then

She could be mentally calculating the odds that you’re an axe murderer or a rapist

Maybe she just happened to look that way and wasn’t actually interested

50 GA’s for @Haleth. Women aren’t constantly thinking about the same things men are. We also size up men for about 50 different qualifications, which is usually about 49 more qualifications than most men size up a women for.

@Dutchess_III Yeah, men usually only have 2 right off the bat, T&A, then they modify from there. haha

@Coloma, You ever run into, “You look SOOOO good! You know you want me!”
WTF?

@Dutchess_III Oh man….being a friendly and humorous type I have had so many men think my natural personality means I want to suck their salami…gah….I hate that so much. Once one of my ex husbands friends asked if I was flirting with him, my ex just laughed and said ” no, she’s always that way.” haha
God forbid you chat a guy up and joke around, they are convinced you want them. Pffft!

Oh, I know. I know. Then you try being reserved so as not to give the “wrong impression,” and then you’re a “Cold hearted bitch.”

So, you’re either a “Tease,” or a “Bitch.” Is there even an inbetween? I never found one.

@ARE_you_kidding_me What you don’t seem to understand is that life is often shorter for women who don’t walk around with that mindset. We get killed (with even money on whether we get raped first).

^^^^^ What she said.

MANY OF US ARE INSECURE AND DON’T HAVE MUCH CONFIDENCE
A few thoughts we have:
We’ll be called a _____
What if?
It’s not worth it.
You’re not worth it.
If you were, he would ask.