Social Question

th3dream3r's avatar

Are you looking for happiness in life?

Asked by th3dream3r (88points) March 10th, 2016

At 26, I’m looking for happiness in life. Life is way too short to be sad and depressed. It’s really hard when you are surrounded by negativity and a stressful environment. NYC is really hard to live in both mentally and financially. Once I save up enough money I am definitely moving out. I really just want to find a better job, move out my parents house, and find a beautiful women to spend the rest of my life with. Really wanted to play pro football (soccer). I Have the talent and skill, but I am a bit old. Right now I am trying to find my place in this world. Somewhere I belong.

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17 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

If you don’t belong then you are free to be yourself (no rules ). Enjoy what you have. If you were to get what you want would you really be happy? Or would you want more? Be happy that you don’t have kids and a student loan and credit card debt. You dogged a bullet there. If you don’t belong then you are a leader and people follow you. Sure you can move out of New York. Deep down it’s who you are and not where you are.

Jak's avatar

So let me see if I have this correct. Your criteria for happiness is a better job, being out of your parent’s house and a beautiful woman.
Does she speak? Have a mind of her own? Does she get to have her own existence, independent of you or is she just there in the background of your scenery?
Maybe you should rethink and come up with some specifics rather than such vague generalities.If this is any indication of how you’ve been going about looking for meaning, it’s no wonder that you haven’t gotten very far.
Why don’t you find a monestary and find out when they allow guests to come for a weekend retreat? Then go. Be silent and without distractions for a couple days and see if you don’t get a different perspective. Get rid of all the dross in your life and decide what matters to you. Pick ONE thing and then persue it. Forget waiting for a woman or thing to complete you. Spend some time serving others, or an ideal. Dedicate some time, like six months or a year, then revisit where your head is.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Instead of looking for the “beautiful” person… become the “beautiful” person.

Instead of looking for the “better” job… become the “better” employer partner.

Instead of fleeing “negativity and stress”... become the “island of positivity”.
_____

Astonishing that so many folk look outside for the qualities they already possess inside of themselves. Become what you desire and others with similar qualities will be drawn to you. Anything less, and they’ll avoid you like the plague.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

if I do more things that make me happy than things that make me unhappy, then at the end of the day I suppose I net some happiness. But I don’t keep a ledger, or go actively searching for happiness, or intellectualize. It’s more like a habit, more of a product of just maintaining a positive attitude. For some reason, that is really difficult for some people to grasp. But it’s not for free, you have to work at it. It’s the work of daily living. Basically, I just do things that make me happy and end up contented, or I have to do things that make me unhappy or spend too much time around people who make me unhappy and the result is malcontentment. Simple. But it’s up to me.

There are two wolves…

zenvelo's avatar

You can look for happiness forever; you will never find it.

You can pursue whatever fills your passion, struggle and work at it, but keep pursuing, and one day you’ll realize how happy you have been.

kritiper's avatar

I’m 62 and it’s a little late to be looking for happiness. All I want out of life is a quick, painless death. (When my time comes, of course.)
I used to long for a female companion to share a life with but it didn’t happen. Once I reached 45, I realized that being single was the best thing for me.

Here2_4's avatar

Some people are just not cut out for city living. I am one of those people.
If you are determined to leave NYC, then it just might be the right thing for you.
Choose carefully. If you move to a quieter environment, slower lifestyle, it won’t do you much good if you find that most of the people living there are retired.
Choose a few places at random. You can research them quite thoroughly online, though there is always more to learn from a visit, starting online will help you with a process of elimination.
If you are a church going person, check listings to see if ther are a few choices for your denomination.
Watch the news channels for the area, see what issues are going on; crime, major businesses closing down, schools closing programs over budget issues. Such things can tell you a lot, if you think about it.
Get an online account for various businesses. You can choose a location anywhere they have a store. Choose for an area, check the ads, then choose another area and check the ads. There will be differences a lot of the time, reflecting the economy for the area.
Well, there are lots of things you can check out.
You might eliminate all the choices on your list. That’s okay. Start a new list with other places.
Take your time. Research first is way less painful than regret later.

NerdyKeith's avatar

Well yes, I think most people are. I’m a single gay guy, who would love to have a boyfriend. Someone to come home to and share my day.
I find that online dating does help, if you are as introverted as me. But you have to be careful when you are doing online dating. You have to get to know the person for a while first before meeting them. Then when you do meet them, you should always meet them in a public place.
In terms of career though, thats been a bumpy ride. I studied acting for three years and it never really worked out for me. Tried to just go into retail sales full time, but I found it soul crushing and unfulfilling. So a couple of years ago I started studying web and multimedia. I’m finding myself very interested in graphic design. So that is what I’m attempting to get into at the moment. Trying to see if I can get accepted into a university to do a degree in graphic design.

Coloma's avatar

Everyone wants happiness, but, in my experience, the closet we can ever come to sustainable happiness is contentment. When you want for nothing, and strive not to aquire more and more and do not hinge your happiness on any, particular thing happening, you find inner peace and inner peace is contentment. It is a great thing to realize that there is absolutely no-thing that you want.

LostInParadise's avatar

I also strive for contentment. I am glad to be assured of my next meal and to have a roof over my head. Happiness is fleeting and way overrated. A full life needs a certain amount of challenge, disappointment and even some sadness. Recall the phrase better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Cruiser's avatar

I have always been happy because I have always had a positive outlook no matter what stage of my life I was in. My 20’s was a real struggle as I was working my ass off both trying to find my way in life and start and run 2 companies….but I was always happy because I was adventurous, had great friends and GF’s and my guitar and my music. Same thing in 30’s which only got more interesting in getting married and having kids. Marriage, kids can bring great joy and is a game changer with regards to responsibility. It is no longer just you life you are living you are deeply invested in the other lives now around you. But I still had my good friends, my guitar and my music.

Now in my 50’s own my own business, have more than I ever dreamed I would or even wanted for that matter. If it all were to suddenly disappear, I would still be happy because I would have my good friends, my guitar and my music.

I believe the less you fixate on your life and enjoy the simple things that make you smile, the happier you will be.

MooCows's avatar

I do not think I will be truly happy until I am in heaven :)

Strauss's avatar

Many of the greatest philosophers have said that happiness is not external.

Coloma's avatar

@Yetanotheruser Yes, it is a state of mind not a state of being. Once ones survival needs are met the rest is all egoic wanting. Nothing wrong with wanting but some people simply cannot be happy unless they are constantly acquiring the next new thing, experience, object etc.

NerdyKeith's avatar

Yes I am and I would love a boyfriend.

Jak's avatar

No. I am happy every day simply living in the moment. Took me a while to get here, admittedly. Still find myself annoyed or irritated but always manage to shake it off. I have way too much to be grateful for to not be happy.

NerdyKeith's avatar

However, I would like to add that I do try to make the most out of the happiness that I have. I have great people around me supporting and so forth. I have roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear. And I have internet connection, so I can have conversations with you fine people.

With that said, it wouldn’t hurt to have a special someone in my life.

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