(NSFW) Is it a good idea to share your feelings with a man in bed?

You can’t expect all men to respond to a comment in the same way. A lot would depend on who the individual is, what his experiences have been, how you said it, what had happened before, etc., etc., etc. This is a question no one here can answer for you.

It’s not a turn off to compliment his ability to bring you to orgasm. For many men it is an absolute turn on. A lot of men (myself included) feel much more virile having a woman orgasm from their efforts.

Be careful, though, to avoid comparisons. I know my girlfriend has been with various men, she knows I have been with a variety of women. But it’s no fun at all to be compared to them, even favorably.

So phrase it like, “wow, you just made me feel so incredible so quickly!”

It would lead me to think – as a man who is just getting to know you – “she’s been with a lot of men?” That’s not a good thing for a potential partner to be thinking.

Yes, there are double standards in sex. It’s something you’ll have to deal with.

“Share your feelings” is different from telling him about how fast he made you come compared to other lovers.
I think you should share your feelings, tell him you really liked that, share how much it rocked your boat.
Leave anything relative to others out of the conversation, at least until you know each other a lot more. How much do you want him talking to others about your performance, good or bad? Some things are better private.

Not sure that the bed is relevant.

If you want to share feelings (sex or anything else) than it can be in any venue.

Maybe you could just casually slip it in.

If you never want to see the guy again….start to share your feelings!
He will be gone in a blink because the majority of men do not know
what “feelings” are and what they have to do with lovemaking.

Well, if you want to base your entire relationship on the speed of your climax, then why not? I’m sure he’ll stick around for a while, anyway. But the challenge is on you, not him. The minute he doesn’t make you come really fast then he won’t feel like he’s anything special, especially if your relationship is sexually based. So you might have to end up faking it a lot to keep up the standard.

BTW, Men stay with women, and vise versa, in the long run because they like them. They enjoy their company. A relationship based on sex is not solid.

In my case neither of the options you suggested.

I’m not going to base my impression on how quickly she/he comes.

Also, who necessarily wants wants to come fast? I’d prefer to think that I know how to read a person sexually and can bring them close a few times before they pop or provide a handful (heh) of pops.

It seems your take on all this isn’t based on much experience. You’re overthinking this. You’re also assuming the man will as well.

You’re in good hands here. You’ll bet better advice from us than Seventeen or Cosmopolitan magazines.

Comparisons like this are a real turn-off in a relationship as is talk of speed. Talking about feelings is good but this kind of talk has little to do with feelings.

I find a few well placed shouts get the point across just fine.

Why not just cut to the point and tell him that you need his affection (sincere or not) for validation?

So he won’t like it.

Hm, okay!

We have no idea whether he’s like it or not. We don’t know him.

I have a question @dopeguru….do you actually like this guy outside of the bedroom?

If it’s honest feedback, that’s a good thing. Sharing feelings is also good when honest, unless the partner/relationship is just about mechanical sex.

I don’t at all find the following notions to be at all accurate or helpful, at least in my own experience and what I’ve heard of others:

* “turn him off because he wants challenge”
* “So he won’t like (If a girl tells you after sex that nobody has made them cum this fast before)”

As several others have said, comparisons are often a problem, and not just about sex.

And yeah, we don’t have much to go on here about who he is or what this relationship is about.

But I get a lot of intuitive red and yellow warning signals from the question and what is and isn’t said here.

I would be confused because women don’t cum. It’s supposed to be when a man ejaculates. ~ teenagers these days changing the meaning of words.~

Feelings about what? Feelings about the trouble you’re having with your boss, or the Tea Party, or your sister’s lousy wedding? Nah. How you feel about him? Sure. People think they are the best subject of all.

@RedDeerGuy1

“Cum” has been a term for orgasm, not simply male ejaculation, for oh, pretty much forever now.

Just stay quiet. I can think of no positive reason to mention that. If you really need to say something then a simple “That was nice/great/perfect” will suffice.
Very few men want to talk about feelings after an orgasm. (Maybe none!) .

^^This is true. Male post-coital norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide (NO), and prolactin overload. And the fact that women don’t turn into pizza afterward.

@Espiritus_Corvus Hah! Reminds me of my jesting that no man can compete with the turbo jets in the hot tub, alas they don’t speak philosophy very well but such are the trade offs one must endure.
I thought women were supposed to turn into a 6 pack and a roast beef sandwich? ;-)

’....don’t turn into a pizza!” Haha! “I would do anything for you…but I won’t do that!

What’s that thing…to make a woman happy you buy her small gifts so she knows you’re thinking of her, give her hugs, hold her hand, be there for her to talk to (and on and on.)

To make a man happy show up naked and bring beer.

Yep, like everyone said, you’re overthinking it.