(Bluntly speaking) How do you shut up someone who rambles?

Just say your tired and you need to go to bed. It’s the middle of the night. Thank her for her support, but you think getting some sleep would help you feel better. End of conversation.

If it’s someone who you actually don’t want to insult or hurt their feelings, simply saying that you’re nodding off and would rather continue the discussion when you’re more lucid is probably the way to go. Honest, direct and respectful. You might get lucky enough for them to forget to continue the conversation too, but if not, at least you’ll probably be more mentally awake.

I doubt that the Capaldi method is called for as it’s a little too blunt.

It sounds to me like your friend is crazy. Of course, that’s not the technical term but your description of her going on and on in the middle of the night sounds crazy to me.

I am a very patient and tolerant person, and sometimes, if someone is rambling, I’ll let them. However, if I pick up that there seems to be an agenda (i.e. lecturing me for example), I’m not so tolerant and I will cut them off and be done with the conversation.

I’d hang up, turn the phone off, then claim later the battery had died.

I hate phone conversations.

This just gave me an idea for an app.

I hang up. Fuck ‘em. It’s rude and self-absorbed and I don’t have to put up with it. There are people who are paid to listen. I’m not one of them. I also either simply walk away from these guys mid-sentence, or if they are interrupting—which they usually are because nobody wants to hear their bullshit—I not-so-nicely tell them to STFU.

You surely don’t want this to go on and on, so I really think honesty is the best policy. I’d say to her something firm but kind like, “Hey, I love you, but sorry, I just can’t do these kind of conversations on the phone at this time of night. I hope you’ll understand.”

It might sting her a bit, but I assure you, setting boundaries for yourself is more important.

Just keep the person on track by interjecting and reminding them of the point of the conversation.

Sometimes you just have to say it; tell the truth. A real friend won’t be offended.

My take, while nobody wants to be lectured or talked at, you should also appreciate your friend trying to cheer you up. I’d feel the opposite, I wouldn’t want to waste my energy and wisdom on someone who, clearly, enjoys wallowing in their negative emotions. The day may come when your friend gives up on you, I would. haha
Of course, set boundaries about the time frame and you are free to say, as others have mentioned, that you are not up to a lengthy ramble, but don’t knock your friend for expressing their caring in the style they do.

Intuitive types tend to seemingly ramble when really, one thought leads to another and another and they very asture at picking up patterns that often escape others.Maybe study personality theory as well, a vital tool in better understanding of self and others and helpful in your relationships whether you decide to give this friend the axe or vice versa. You need to be aware that as sick and tired as you may feel about this persons style of trying to help that that probably feel extremely frustrated that you are such an Eeyore all the time.

@Yellowdog I’m assuming you’ve hung up by now. What did you do/say? How did it go?

I saw an interesting link on my Facebook feed earlier this week on the topic – but now I can’t find it again. It was from Forbes on the exact thing you’ve asked: “various ways to politely end a never-ending conversation”. While I don’t subscribe to the exact language and methods that they used, the general ideas presented were pretty good. (And I’m not going to turn off my ad-blocker to try to find it on the forbes.com website. But it would be worth doing, if you really want that.)

Dont answer the phone at 3am.
Give her a time that is convienent for you to talk freely.

Well, that’s a good point. Why did you answer the phone at 3 in the morning?!

If I answered the phone at 3 in the morning and it wasn’t something very critical (i.e. accident, death), then the person would get told off and then hung up on immediately.

I have answered the phone at 3am with a very grumpy “Who is bleeding?”

It was a wrong number. Poor people.

Aw…only drunk people dial a phone at 3 in the morning! Or, if there is an emergency.