Will you look down on househusband?

My husband was a “househusband” for about a year. While he didn’t find the role fulfilling, it was certainly not degrading. He just prefers to be working. I know other men who are homemakers and are quite happy about it.

My supposed roles? I don’t see household chores and managing the family as my roles or ‘women’s work’. If my husband doesn’t have a career he loves (he does) and I do (and I actually do), and one of us needed to stay home to look after children, I’d be happy if he took this role. If I earn more or my career means more to me than his does, why shouldn’t he stay home while I follow that path? The idea that a man staying home and taking care of the work that needs doing there is not manly is ridiculous. Those who manage families and households do not get the easy end of the stick. It’s hard and often thankless work.

@Seek What if he decides to become a permanent househusband and love the job? Will you feel happy about it? Have you ever complained that it will cause economic constraint in your household?

If I were able to keep the household afloat, it would be fine. As it is, he prefers to be working and I prefer to keep house. If our preferences were reversed, then our roles would be as well.

No. I came of age in the middle of the second wave of the women’s movement toward equality. We recognized that this required, among other things, a loosening of role definition in the home. So, if one is serious about equal opportunity for all, you don’t look down on someone who is actually doing something about it, by taking that strange new step into an unorthodox role to make room for fairness. I look down on people who look down on this. These changing roles are difficult enough for men to learn and adapt to, they don’t need to be dissed by small-minded idiots for doing their part for the other half of the world’s population.

As a matter of fact, it really pisses me off when I hear of it being done by the younger generations. It’s like a huge step backward and a slap in the face of the people who are sincerely trying to promote social justice in this world. It’s fucking hard and it’s not going to happen overnight and hearing mindless assholes actively razz from the sidelines just pisses me off.

::sigh:: We need new words and descriptions here. How’s about…

Two married people have entered into a partnership together and thus have mutual stuff to get done. For example, make money, keep up their house, raise child(ren) and/or pets, provide food. Pick two each. Choose what you like. Flip a coin if you must. Time leftover? Go help your partner with their two things.

Gender expectations be damned.

Such attitudes are clearly archaic these days. Most folks pay no attention to such outdated ideas in the face of grim necessity. Nothing tops urgency for eliminating nonsense.

@stanleybmanly Unfortunately, I will disagree that it’s archaic these days. If you go to many Asian and thrid-world countries (or even inside first world countries, since there are still many traditional-minded citizens) you’ll see that the majority of women will eventually become housewifes and hardly any men will gladly resort to what deemed as female job.

It’s general knowledge for traditional-minded people that the man is the leader of the family for obvious reasons, and if the role is reversed he’ll usually be frowned upon by the society and feel second-grade in the family.

“The man is the leader of the family for obvious reasons”... what are these obvious reasons @Unofficial_Member.

@Earthbound_Misfit For traditional minded people (even though different cultures have different tradition but most will put men as the leader of the family) a man is the leader because:
– He’s the one that earn the money (a.k.a. the source of life in the family). The woman (wife) will just simply spread her arms and ask for money. How can she buy the newest branded handbag she saw on the store? How can she pay for her salon? All her household jobs can be substituted by a maid or another willing woman if her husband willing to do so, and she’ll be returned to her family that will blame her for being such a disgrace. Without her ability to earn money she’ll be doomed. Now imagine if a man is put in this ‘downgrading’ position

- Since the majority of men work outside and many women ended up staying at home as housewifes, trying to go against obvious gender roles is frowned upon in traditional society

- Not to mention that usually men’s ego is too high to ask money from a woman, especially for his own living if he becomes a househusband.

A housewife these days is not widely acceptable. I’ve been one for 15 years and there are many people who don’t respect me because I don’t “work”. Very recently I received hell from my SIL because I supposedly sit around all day on Facebook while she busts her ass working. Her words (which are for from the truth.)

@Unofficial Member Those mores are shifting faster than you can track in first world countries to the great consternation of immigrants to such places. Again, economic necessity erodes such traditions in an age and culture where physical strength is irrelevant to financial advancement.

@Unofficial_Member: I don’t know where you are, but in the U.S, but what you have described in your previous post are attitudes that were prevalent among the middle and upper classes until the 1950s. Of course there are groups that still feel this way, but it’s no longer popular or acceptable to express these attitudes.
Two major factors play into this: many families need to decide who can earn more, as pay scale definitely impacts quality of life.
Also, in this technological age, many people are able to telecommute, so whichever parent has the computer-based job can be the “house” spouse.

^^House Spouse. Yeah. That sounds better.

Nope.