Brag to me a little so you can get it out of your system {NSFW}?

I’ve taken two naps in one day before.

@PriceisRightx26 I’m still napping.

edited
She may read this one day

Not that she couldn’t handle this as my wife is quite open minded.

But I urinated in my ex GF’s mouth in the parking lot of Emory University’s Hospital storage complex.

I crapped myself twice today. Wearing clean underwear now. Not trusting a fart not to be dry today.

I was one of several participants in several sexual activities in the seventies.

I am hung like a gerbil.

Wait…she actually knows that already. Much to her chagrin.

I’ve had a very wild and crazy sex life, whenever I meet someone I hope she doesn’t mind the hundreds of women I’ve fantasized about. (Hey, if it’s in your mind who’s to say it isn’t real?)

I had my last piece of cheesecake from KFC.

@RedDeerGuy1 Oh man, that… that’s just low.

…edited.

I reunited with my 17 year old boyfriend who is now 55 for one night.

I have 758 followers on Quora.

@MooCows who is now 55 for one night.…soo—how old is he on all the other nights?

People who say beer tastes like piss have obviously never drank urine before.

@Berserker And knowing that beer does not taste like.. ew. I get what you are saying. Gross.