In my working career I’ve made at least 6 “whole house” coast-to-coast moves, and several others of temporary duration and “less than everything”. But my circumstances were probably quite different from yours. In each of those moves, the employer had moving policies that would essentially pay the whole cost of packing, loading, transporting and unloading at the destination. So there was no incentive (then) to winnow and limit as I would do now.
If I were doing this again – which I will, someday – and on my own nickel – which will also be the case – then I’ll do it differently.
In the first place, I will probably opt to donate or discard a lot of my old, large, heavy and not-worth-the-cost-of-the-move furniture: couches and most of the accumulated mattresses I’ve accumulated at the top of the list. (Then I’d plan to replace those as needed, and with suitable pieces, at the new location.) That saves a lot of cubic footage and weight, both of which are costly in the moving process.
I need the same help as you with “organization and winnowing”, so I have no good advice to offer there. I accumulate a lot, because I’m a saver, re-user and alternate-user, so where lots of people see “junk” I see “potential” – which is usually un-utilized, so “junk” is apropos. And books; I hate to give away books, and those are also expensive to move because of the accumulated weight. I expect that this may be difficult for you, too.
But before all of that, the thing that always helped the most in the process was making and using a checklist and schedule. On that I listed all of the services that I had to turn off / turn on, and when that should occur. That included making lists of vendors to stop automatic deliveries – and when – such as heating oil delivery, mail forwarding addresses (and notify the subscribers’ services of all periodicals to give them the new address as soon as possible, or forwarding costs for magazines and other non-first class mail can add up – or the mail just be lost entirely). At the same time, I’d be listing the vendors to turn “on” at the new location, and when that should happen: cable television, water and power, etc.
When we moved – family moves – one thing that was always vital was maintaining a “must have / first unpack” set of bags and boxes, and that usually traveled with us. That included most of the daily-use bathroom items, prescription medications, dried and unopened cans of pet food, a few days’ worth of suitable clothing, etc. Your needs will dictate what goes in those boxes for you.
As for the furniture that you will take with you, a lot of that can be disassembled (save and label all of the fasteners in sturdy bags attached to the items!) and readied ahead of the movers having to do it. Disassembling also helps you to reassemble at the other end if you want to reduce costs.
Dressers should be unpacked of clothing and the clothing boxed separately. You can pack bulky, non-breakable items in dresser drawers to save box space and so you’ll know where they are: pillows, for example, and kids’ stuffed toys make the dressers easier to move, weight-wise, and centralize those items. Quilts and fluffy blankets pack well in some dressers, too.
You can obtain tall “wardrobe boxes” from moving supply stores (U-Haul is a good source) which enable you to pack clothes on hangers as an alternative to folding and boxing. The box contains a “rod” at the top for the hangers. Very convenient.
If you’re going to take your heavy appliances: refrigerator, stove, washer and dryer, for example, you may need to schedule the gas company to come out to disconnect them if that applies for the stove and dryer, for example. Obviously you’ll need to clean out and empty and defrost the fridge well ahead of time. Make sure that glass shelves are removed, banded or taped together to strengthen the group, and packed separately.
As for hiring independent muscle, that I can’t really help with. It would not hurt to get some quotes from the professional moving companies in your area, which will give you a yardstick to measure others’ quotes against. I’d ask friends for recommendations. Surely you know the expression, that “A friend will help you move; a good friend will help you move – a body.” Got any good friends?