Why are some people so full of themselves?

When we are young and trying to find our place in the world, the geo is the big driver of most people’s personality, and has us behave so as to protect itself and also to promote itself as the most important.

It does this even when the person is not all that confident and doesn’t feel good about themselves. In that case, they become “the shit in the center of the universe.”

One of the big changes in growing up is getting to a point where one’s ego does not need to be central to one’s life, in fact the wiser more serene older person has reached a point of ignoring the ego.

A big part of adolescence is testing boundaries and limits. That is exactly what that girl did when you held the door for her. Next time, if someone slows down while you are holding the door, let go and go on with your life.

Hi @kid_africa! Based on what you’ve written I think you might be a teenager? Please correct me if I’m wrong.

There are lots of reasons why people might act like they’re “the shit” and usually it’s not a sense of overconfidence. Believe it or not, sometimes it’s the opposite problem. Insecure people (myself included) often talk about themselves too much. This makes them seem like they loooove themselves, but it’s the opposite problem. They don’t love themselves enough, and they’re looking for other people to do the loving for them. If a girl is flipping her hair around, it might not because she thinks her hair looks awesome. It might be because she thinks her hair looks horrible, but she wants you to notice it and say that you think it looks awesome, so that she’ll feel a little better about herself.

Teenage years are tough and often make us act in not the best ways. You’ll get through it, your annoying peers will get through it, and everyone will be better in the end.

Welcome to Fluther.

I would suggest that you need to get outside of your head a bit more. By that I mean that you should stop trying to discern others’ motives and thoughts, especially if you think that they’re generally negative – as yours seem to be.

Just based on the one anecdote that you’ve written about a single “actual” encounter with a particular girl – which you more or less admit you handled badly – I would have suggested other ways to act. But I’m not sure that you really want that, because you seem to want me – us – to agree with you that “some girls are awful”. Well, that’s a given. A lot of girls are awful, and so are a lot of boys. Who knows what she was thinking of your action in holding a door open for her when she wasn’t within a couple of steps of the door. “Why is this creep waiting for me like that? I don’t want to meet him or talk to him! Why won’t he just go in, already? I’ll bet he just wants to see my ass as I walk by him!” Or maybe not. Maybe she was going to have a smoke by the door before she went inside, and having you hold the door for her made her feel like somehow obligated to acknowledge that and accept your open door – and it’s pretty clear that she didn’t really want that. Yeah, she could have said so – but she’s under no obligation to do that, either.

You can’t expect strangers to live up to some expectation that only you have, and about which you remain silent. If you had asked her, “Should I hold the door?” then perhaps you could expect an answer – maybe.

We could write whole stories around what “might” have been going through her head at the time, guessing what she was thinking about what “might” be in your head. And we could all be wrong.

So a girl didn’t conform to your expectation of an offer of a held-open door in the time frame or manner in which you expected. The world won’t end on that account, dude. Get over it.

In fact, she may make an account of her own tomorrow and post about “guys who need to get over themselves because they hold a door open for you – when you don’t even want that! – and then expect all kinds of personal interaction and contact when all you want is to be left alone, because you’re having a bad hair day!” … or whatever.

Don’t try to imagine the worst about everyone. If you hold a door open – especially when the person isn’t within two seconds of entering – and they start to change direction or dawdle, then feel free to smile and wave, smile only, wave only – or do nothing – and walk through the door and forget about them.

Don’t get all worked up about things that generally mean absolutely nothing.

But definitely come back and post again.

Like @zenvelo said, “When we are young.” It all starts then with parents who spoil their kids rotten, never really punishing or condemning, always praising everything about them in every aspect whether deeds done were good or bad. Granted, it’s not good to always criticize, but a little constructive criticism and punishment goes a long way. And when the children are old enough, a good measured spanking once in a while when deserved can go a long way towards them getting the idea that they aren’t so special that their shit doesn’t stink. (But not the spankings (whippings) I used to get with my father’s belt applied unsparingly across my bare backside while he held tightly to one of my hands so I couldn’t get away. Or the willow switch my childhood neighbors got across their bare backsides. Maybe some of those individuals of which you speak could use one of Dad’s spankings…)

Confused cannibals who overate a tad?

The one thing that stood out in your question was ”There are girls who look away and hide their face with their hair if they think a guy is staring at them. Most of the times we are not. Just because I am looking in your general direction does not mean I am looking at you. ” Girls in general are looked at a lot, critiqued and examined. It’s pretty uncomfortable. You may not be looking at her, but if she just had the impressionthat you were she might be tempted to hide in some way, especially if it happens a lot, which it probably does. It’s just a knee jerk reaction, a protective thing. I often turned my head away and down to avoid some guy who I thought was staring at me. We don’t take the time to examine the situation to see if it’s even true, because that can send the wrong message to the guy.