When it comes to dating, how do you usually offer rejection?

With honesty, although I have not been out on a date in 12 years

I’ve only been propositioned a handful of times in my youth, and some I handled pretty badly, like by insulting the girl who asked me out. Other times I just made an excuse like I felt I was too old to be dating a girl still in high school when I was in college. There were a couple of times where I felt bad and went on the date, but later totally avoided that person afterwards. So needless to say I was quite immature at the time. Still, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that BS no more – been married almost 11 yrs

I’ve usually been the rejectee (the dumpee) and not the rejector. So I’m not the best one to answer.

One time that sticks in my mind, where I was the rejector, we were out at dinner, I think, and I said something like “this isn’t working out – you’re asking me to make a choice between you and my kids (who were in their low teens) and if you force the choice, the kids always win.”.

And that was it.

The interesting thing on that relationship was that about 6 months later she called and acknowledged that she had been wrong and understood that… but by then I had moved on.

Easy. If they are interested in having a relationship I tell them that my life is too hectic already and I don’t have the time or desire for any romantic entanglement. If they suggest something less complicated, I tell them I don’t do uncomplicated. Also, I’m happy enough with my complicated, long distance relationship and seldom have the time and energy for what it deserves.

I would just say that the truth, whatever that is at the time. If the truth is that I’m not interesting in dating you, I would say that I can see us being friends but not dating.

I just tell them that I am gay.

A collection of professionally designed calling cards.

Some read the following:

“It’s unfortunate you do not like sushi.”

“You keep wrenching my centerview mirror to check your makeup.”

“You simply cannot stop asking questions you don’t want an honest answer to.”

“You condescended to our waiter again.”

“That pause in my speech is for effect, not for you to wedge you next statement into.”

“Animals are delicious, I have no idea what I was thinking.”

“Find someone else to introduce you to Stanley Kubrick,”

“So I wear makeup, you never would have noticed if I hadn’t told you.”

“No, the Cocteau Twins and Morrissey don’t use autotune.”

“I expect to be worshiped in bed as much as you do.”

“You didn’t seem to mind urinating on me.”

“Ask someone else how to hold a fork.”

“Sad you don’t know how to exit or enter a car properly when wearing a skirt.”

“So she looked me over and talked to me, I was gracious about it.”

“No, it didn’t make you look fat, it just didn’t work.”

And inspired by the Bloodhound Gang song:

“It’s not my job.

To fuck you on your birthday.

Anymore.”

I’m not dating right now, but thank you.