This is mainly for males; do you expect women to follow your unsolicited directions?

Thank god for modern GPS.

Shut up and just give me the address with zip code.

No more. “Then your going to come to a big tree. Don’t stop there, keep going…”

People just adore the sound of their own voice.

(sigh).

NO! Not even!

It might surprise you to hear that I bump into more backseat driving women than men, considerably more in fact!

I guess that I’m not going to be sexist either… by answering the question with too much specificity.

I’m not following “the manner” of the instructions that are being tossed off. Are you saying – because it seems like you’re saying – “I never do anything a man says to me when it’s not expressed as a direct order from a supervisor”? or what? Or is it just the kind of “listen to me tell you how I would drive if I were in your seat”? Because I get that.

I agree that I prefer specific instructions (if we’re talking about driving directions, say), such as “We’ll go North on Route 31 until we cross Route 122, then left to go north on Route 56. Now I’m going to sleep; please wake me when we get to Rutland,” instead of generalized instruction on “how to drive” – I purely get that. But I used to get more of that kind of micro-instruction from my mother when she had to accompany me on my learner’s permit driving decades ago, or from my wife when she used to ride with me (and give me the most inane directions, including, “There! Right there! We just passed the turn I wanted you to make!”).

“Women, for pity’s sake, don’t drive” ~

Both my husband and I do this to each other but I’ve learned to bite my lip. He hasn’t.

I sometimes give suggestions or point to what I think is the correct lane or something, but I’m just trying to be helpful. I think I only do it when I think the driver could use the input. I don’t think I do it differently for men or women. I try to notice whether it’s received positively or not, and I stop if it’s not liked unless we seem to be about to do something dangerous.

Every woman I’ve been in a relationship with has felt some degree of need to assist sometimes when I drive. I think I usually do a good job of not minding. I appreciate it when it’s helpful. I usually don’t really mind, or care more about my passengers being happy (especially passengers I’m in a relationship with). However it can be annoying, or dangerous if it’s a sudden last-minute call for action. The most annoying part for me is when it seems like I’m basically not being trusted to be able to drive or get someplace – that can become a bit crazy-making. The second most annoying part is when it changes the experience from a friendly drive someplace together, to some sort of conflict. Sigh.

Being sensitive to the bad parts, I try not to do that myself. It helps that I don’t generally care about getting places as fast as possible, or getting the “best” parking spot, or competing with other drivers. Though I think my lack of caring about those things is often why certain passengers start trying to “help”. I think it’s best to let the annoying back-seat drivers drive, or not do that.

Sometimes. Men, too.

I don’t give unsolicited directions when anyone is driving, unless I am teaching them how to drive (like my kids).

My old girl friend used to comment like this incessantly. “You know, on Telegraph you should be in the right lane so you don’t get stuck behind someone trying to make a left. You should be in the left lane so you don’t get stuck behind a bus or someone looking for a parking space.”

Drove me crazy!

On the other hand…

When my Dad taught me to drive, he explained mechanical things that I didn’t already know, gave me basic safety instructions – and watched carefully while I was driving, to only give advice that was essential for safety – and let me make mistakes from time to time. I learned well with him.

One time I passed a truck on a two-lane country road, then immediately took a right turn onto another road – less than 200 yards after I had finished passing the truck. He waited until after we had made the turn, then he had me pull over so he could quietly read me the riot act. “Don’t ever do that again. You gained nearly no distance or time by passing that truck, and after passing him you forced him to slow down to avoid rear-ending us when we turned right. And you already knew where the turn was; it wasn’t a surprise to you. Now let’s get going again – smarter.” That’s a lesson that I’ve kept in mind for the last forty-some years.

In addition, he taught me that if I was riding shotgun while he was driving, it was my responsibility to look to the right at intersections where he was going to turn left, and report conditions to him. He wouldn’t move until he got the “all clear” from me – and after a few years, he didn’t even look to the right any more, as he knew I had the eyes on that side, and judgment that he could rely upon. That’s a hell of a responsibility to carry, so I had to grow into it. I’m still working on it.

@CWOTUS No to the first part of your question. I have no issues with men in general, I’m not a basher, I just have noticed that men try to tell me things that I have under control. I know where we’re going, so I don’t need directions, though I don’t object if you know a faster route. By all means, tell me. And I like the idea of a co pilot. I have those all the time and I also relinquish control of climate and radio and tell them so up front. So you see, I’m not selfish or arbitrary. What I object to is the idea that we’re in some sort of relationship where you can just tell me what to do like I’m your subservient chiid. The last time I allowed my mother in my car, she actually said; “Turn your wipers on.” When I didn’t do it, she said it again, in a louder voice. Then she started some stupid shit about how I was just like her husband….. whatever. I was using the manual because there was just a little bit of rain, and the auto makes them go too fast. But the thing is, I’M DRIVING! I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL. I don’t fucking need to explain my every decision to the other person, and I certainly am not going to explain anything at all after this person really thought I was just going to do what she says like she’s running something. And that’s how I feel about anyone just randomly giving what amounts to a command.
By the way, I agree, there are probably women who do this too, but I have so far not encountered it. Only men. So that’s why I wondered if any here do that and if they could explain the motivation or if they were irritated when their “orders” weren’t followed. I hope I have made myself clear this time.
@zenvelo got it right, that’s what I was talking about.
(PS If I wanted to send a letter to a buddhist monastery, would I put it in a Zenvelope?)

I have never had anyone do this to me. I suppose this is lucky for them – no one wants to have to walk home.

Since marrying there have been a number of times I wished I had a bumper sticker that reads “CAUTION, car has two drivers.”

To my wife’s credit this is only an issue when it comes to a chosen route. Fortunately she has no issue with my driving technique. Having lived and driven in Rome for years she is quite nonplussed by my, shall we say, spirited driving style. She says nothing about my stuffing it into corners on a mountain road. She frequently falls asleep as I make interstate trips at 120 or more.

She does frequently point to the right in such a way that blocks my view of the passenger side mirror.

I guess I’m lucky she has complete faith in my driving ability.

I on the other hand have gently made requests when she drives.

“Please don’t shove the stick into a gear before the gearbox has synchronized.”

“Pleeeeease don’t bake the clutch holding the car on a hill.”

“Kindly don’t crack up the front splitter on a curb or parking block.”

As my father ages he gets worse about the chosen route thing as well.

“Why did you choose the curvy road? he has asked me.

Like @dappled_leaves, if a man tried that on, my reaction would usually be a swift “do you want to walk?” I don’t mind someone giving me advice as long as they aren’t ordering me to do whatever it is they think I should do. My husband normally drives so I don’t often have to deal with unsolicited driving advice, but when I cook… he does like to turn into a calm Gordon Ramsey. It doesn’t go down well.