What do we give up when we're in a relationship?

I live with my boyfriend, so most of my free time is spent with him. Before, I used to be more creative, often with crafts that don’t play nice with socialization, such as writing. Nowadays at home I like to do things that don’t involve shutting him out, and often that means I forgo writing over doing something lazy like cuddling and watching Netflix.

The essential thing here, though, is that I’m choosing to give this time to him rather than to my writing. That means it’s okay.

I was married for over 20 years, almost 22 , and divorced now for 13. I have no desire to be in relationship anymore and haven’t since my mid-40’s. The compromise, living with others habits and quirks, always needing to take anothers needs and wants into consideration and absolutlely no patience for any drama whatsoever, no thanks. I cherish being single and independent and relationship is a “been there, done that” gig for me anymore.

I am perfectly content flying solo and am not, in the least, feeling needy or lacking without a SO in my life. Men-O-pause is a wonderful place for me. haha
I have several friends my age that are still engaged in all sorts of relationship drama, one with a husband of 15 years and the other a boyfriend of the last 7, no thanks. The stupid arguments and hurt feelings and childish game playing. gah….I’m too old for that shit these days, lol

In a relationship with anyone, not just a romantic one, we compromise. If I’m going to dinner with a friend of mine and she says she can’t eat spicy food, we try to avoid Italian restaurants. It’s all part of it. Someone in my family is dating a doctor. If he tells her he worked last night and he’s tired today, they might do something low key for the day instead of something that involves concentration or energy.

I don’t have a boyfriend so I’m going to talk about “relationship” in the broadest sense.

The first thing that I give up is my convenience. For example, I have to sacrify my time when my friends need help, or things that are good to me but not to them like a particular place they don’t like. And the second thing I give up is my ego. Sometimes I have to chill out and avoid sticking on my own opinion in an argument. Of course I expect my friends to do the same to me. Relationship is mutual and everyone need to give and take with the equal amount.

I don’t focus on the giving up. I focus on what I get: companionship, intimacy, a best friend, a lover, shared laughter.

Have I given stuff up? Yes, but it is so worth it.

More than I’m willing to lose, at this point. I’ve spent most of my life in relationships because I thought I had to. I no longer think that way and am happy with the way my life is now. I never really felt right while in relationships, like they were all so tenuous, but my personality dictated that I give my all to make them work. Now, you could argue that it was only that my partners did not feel that way, and that this is why none of them worked our. And that is true to sosme extent. But I do not feel the need to have another person to “make me complete” or to be happy. It seems like way too much effort, so…if I ever meet someone who just likes to hang out with me and make pithy observations and discuss things like sacred geometry and solfeggio tones and sustainable living, I might make some effort to be sociable. That could be the foundation for a real relationship minus the drama of “Will he think I’m attractive enough? Should I wear this dress? But that seems unlikely, so, I’d rather spend my time doing what pleases me.

If you feel like you’re having to give things up to be in a relationship, then you might not be in the right relationship.

That said, I’m in a relationship where I ended up giving up nearly everything.

I mirror @Soubresaut myself, IF, the right and EASY, flowing, companionable, mind mate, thing presented, maybe I’d explore but otherwise I am not looking, farthest thing from my mind at this juncture of life.
I am very proud of myself, given the fact that many women in my age bracket are still desperately seeking relationship and, given the fact I was wiped out in the recession, well…a lot of women would be out there, desperately seeking some guy, any guy, that would take care of them financially. No thanks, I’d rather have my personal freedom and live in a tiny place and work my ass off than to be a kept women. Gah!

You give up everything to gain everything if that makes any sense.
I’ve found that single life and married life are two completely different worlds.
Being single is steady, not too bad, but not too great either. Being in a relationship is like riding a rollercoaster. It’s exciting, kinda scary and your highs are incredibly high and your lows are incredibly low until finally it ends leaving you dazed and confused and wondering what the hell just happened?
That was my experience anyway, but maybe it can be better next time with a different person.

Thanks @all—the responses are all so interesting! And they all make sense, even if some are quite different from others

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Being single. Aside from that, I gained so much positive things from being in a relationship. “Giving Up” stuff felt more like growing as a person.