What is your opinion of gender norms?
Do we as a society put too much focus on gender norms, to such an extent that it puts too much pressure on both of the sexes? This sometimes results in persons feeling the need to conform to a standard based on societal gender expectations. Expectations ranging from the way one should act, dress, think, what occupation they should have etc.
I cannot count on one hand the amount of times I’ve read about LGBT youth being attacked for not conforming to a gender standard of male or female. This not only includes transgender persons, but also effeminate gay men and somewhat masculine lesbians.
So it seems to me that this goes much further than one being too “politically correct”. Minorities can brush off offensive slurs, but they cannot brush off a physical attack so easily.
What are your thoughts on this issue?
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16 Answers
Gender norms are fluid. A century ago women were assaulted and beaten for wanting to vote in this country. About 50 years ago my sister was wait-listed at MIT, today they would have courted her and offered her incentives to attend. 30 years ago my friend couldn’t find a doctor to tie her tubes because she was single and didn’t want children, even though she was a successful, educated 35 year old professional woman. The examples go on and on, I won’t begin to list them all here.
Gender norms have always been stupid shit and I feel like my generation is starting to recognize that. Where I live I see a lot of gender nonconforming people who are accepted in the community. It’s sad though that this is such a recent development and even now it’s confined to safe bubbles like liberal college campuses. My having a vagina should say virtually nothing about who I am, what I like, or how I’m going to live my life.
Personally I’ve never observed them.
The result that is me should be evaluated as an individual case.
@SecondHandStoke In fact all human beings should be evaluated as individual cases. Trouble is not everyone thinks that way. Too many people like placing others neatly into a box with a shiny label on the top.
I was raised in an era where there were still a lot of gender norms/expectations, thankfully I have outgrown them, except, most males are physically stronger than most females soooo, having a guy do some of the heavy lifting is a bonus. lol
Evolution couldn’t function on the principle of norms are enough.
Our species survives by pushing boundaries.
Cultural norms are “normal” only until something more befitting the times replaces them.
@Pachy Well lets not forget that “normal” by definition will always be based on popular opinion.
@RealEyesRealizeRealLies
Actually, evolution does function on the “good enough” principle.
The trick is competition determining what is “good enough”.
Growing up, I knew someone in particular who continually reinforced the idea that while women might be intellectually capable, femininity is weak. He argued that women undermined themselves and sabotaged other women; that a “womanly” egalitarian approach was inferior to a “masculine” hierarchy of authority; that masculinity and competiveness went hand in hand; that prettiness was inversely related to intelligence; that my going against his arguments was my choosing to be weak and inferior. When I got older—went through puberty and was dancing more—it flipped, and suddenly he said I was a “pretty” and “graceful” “young woman”—his words. And if I was out with him and someone who happened to be a guy happened to, say, open up a door, he would tell me it was because the guy thought I was pretty and was interested in me…. Basically, he says that gender norms could be “fixed” since today women can be strong and successful like men—but for him, strength and success are tied to masculinity, which means women who act “feminine” are their own worst enemies… But then, it’s those “feminine” qualities that he believes makes women attractive. He claims that he appreciates his wife’s intellectual individuality, but he gets upset when she disagrees with his reasoning, or challenges his opinion, etc. (He doesn’t get upset when talking about the same subjects with male friends of his.) He’s indicated in other moments that he’s insecure with his masculinity. I think that factors in. It’s hard for me to not think it’s because he really wants the doting, decorative wife—his wife is strong and compassionate and clear spoken instead, what he thought he wanted, but what he doesn’t seem willing to accept.
Back to gender norms more generally—I think we have had some incredible sociopolitical success for the equality of the sexes. I’m less convinced, however, that the more implicit gender-norm structure has gone away. I think there’s a tension between the implicit cultural roles and the sex-equality we all want… And that tension seems to express itself in contradictions and anger, etc…
Like @Mariah I’m finding many more people actively not conforming to gender roles in various ways… which makes me hopeful! I think gender norms need to go.
Gender norms, in and of themselves, are okay. But constraining people to gender norms is harmful to both men and women.
@trolltoll
Good point. People shouldn’t be pressured to defy or follow any expectations of whatever someone thinks are gender “norms”.
I hope to see you in the chat room again. :-)
@trolltoll haha yeah, though good luck getting him to see that…!
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