What is the dumbest thing you have heard someone say?

I was called a Communist because of my Atheist point-of-view.

“I love you”... On the first date.
That was the dumbest thing she could have ever said to me.

Watch me jump like a rat from a sinking ship.

“Why is it raining” is not brainless at all. It’s actually a very good question that leads to some interesting discussion on the science of weather, physics, and chemistry. Also, rain formation is extremely complicated and interesting—for example, why do some clouds rain and some do not? Why does lightning form in some clouds and some not. Why do clouds form? Why does rain form? Why are some rain drops big and some small? What is the chemical composition of rain? Does rain pick up impurities in the atmosphere?

By dismissing a question like this, you’re dismissing a whole line of interesting inquiry.

@kritiper I was once called a Communist because I was wearing a red dress. Seriously, this really happened.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Yikes! I, too, have been told “I love you” on a first date. But, the genders were reversed. I dismissed it to the category of A Guy Trying Too Hard to Get Lucky.

Is anything worse than, “Are we there yet?”

An Edmonton global news reporter said that two heads are better than one. When talking about a two headed baby born in Australia. He apologized for the comment in the next days news.

“It depends on what your definition of the word “is” is.”

“This was not a fair justice!”

“I have to confess that it’s crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian.”
~Hillary Clinton

@Cruiser That made me think of George Bush. So many relevant phrases came rushing to my head, but I can’t think of one that’s the most dumb.

I, like, can’t, like, think of, like, anything that’s, like, dumb. There’s, like, really nothing anyone could say that, like, would, like, annoy me.

“You can now drink your urine.” -Patient Service Representative (PSR)

It happened during a 3 hour glucose tolerance test.

“I’m voting for Trump”

Are we talking in real life or youtube comments?

And I understand that we are kinda fucked when I need clarification between mouth and keyboard.

A venn diagram just took a shit inside another venn diagram and now Mandelbrot is all “leave me the fuck out of this.”

One time I was stoned and I was riding shot gun with my friend and I stuck my hand out the window and said, “I’ll see if it’s windy out.”

Well, there’s Dubya with “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning.”

Of course it’s rarely asked that way, because then people will know that you’re a gigantic dumbass.

:)

@Rarebear it was dumb because of the circumstances, I live in a place sort of renowned for being rainy, it was actually “Why is it raining? ... In “my city”” but I chose to leave that part out

At my sisters wedding I was changing into my suit and my cousin burst into the bathroom and pinned me against the wall and put a gun to my head and said the bible said it was acceptable to kill me. He was sure I was gay.

This was the last time I ever saw my fathers side of the family.

well that is understandable… (the not seeing your father’s side of the family part)

Fuck all those people. It shouldn’t be a shocker that I have a problem with religion.

One of my ex-business partners was frustrated with the wi fi at our store. I tried to explain that the landlord had set it up so a maximum number of devices could connect to it at any one time. She said that sounded dumb and went on to explain to me that it was all the other ‘waves in the air’ that were interfering with it and when we were watching the store, we had to turn off any blue tooth or 4G devices we had so they wouldn’t make more waves in the air to interfere with the wifi connection the iPad needed so we could run iZettle.

OMG

That reminds me of the current stupidity I’m trying to deal with regarding WiFi.

My landlord is convinced that the WiFi router/gateway has to be processed by his computer in order to work.

I keep telling him that a router can send the wifi signal without being connected to any computer at all. All that’s necessary is a wall outlet for electric and the coax cable from the ISP.

But he’s got it fixed in his brain that just because it’s connected to his computer therefore it’s going through his computer. It’s actually the other way around but he keeps insisting that in order to do a password reset (so that I can use the wifi) It’s going to mess up his computer because of Windows 10.

Even tho it’s costing him $35 a month until he calls ATT to reset the password, he still insists it’s going through his computer.

I can’t believe an intelligent person can be this persistently stupid.

Donald Trump for President.

That the Nazis were left wing.

@johnpowell My goodness. Your blood-chilling family incidents continued into adulthood. I know you come here to express yourself, not to seek sympathy, but I hope you don’t mind the emotions I feel when I read your words.

My wife was at a bakery with a coworker where they were selling half-a-pie. The coworker looks at my wife and says, “What do you think they do with the other half?”

Same coworker, different time says (as they were planning a Cinco de Mayo party), “What day does that fall on?”

“You’re going to have to move the thermostat.”

I own a 2 room office building – think 2 car garage.
The front room has 2 huge front windows and a glass door.
The back room has a small, covered window and the thermostat.
The front room was too warm, and the 2 women involved in the business insisted the only way to correct that was to move the thermostat from the (cool) back room to the (overly warm) front room.
I explained that the front room was too hot because the large windows were uncovered, and all the heat vents were open. I partially closed the heat vents, and they re-opened them because “it got too cold” in the front room.
They moved the business to a new location, and my refusal to move the thermostat was given as a chief reason.

^^^ “You’re going to have to move the thermostat.”

When I read this, I literally burst into laughter. Yep, move the thermostat, because that’s so easy to do. Just tear it off the wall, nail it to a new location, and all will be perfect in our universe.

This went on for months, @Love_my_doggie.
I would have gladly moved the thermostat if it could have made any difference whatsoever.

When the business was just setting up, I was down there one day. I asked how everything was going and the manager/sister said, “Great! I spent the morning learning how to use a tape gun. I laughed…along? No. She was serious about the training and I offended her.

Install a second ‘dummy’ one for placebo effect.

@ibstubro I think I’ve met the tape-gun lady. She was once stuck on an escalator for hours during an electrical blackout.

“If this transgender law passes your kids will never be safe”~ I hae some fb friends so conservative it’s mind~boggling. Trying to rationalize your hypocrisy & ignorance while saying “its protecting the children!” is hard to bear.

Oh, but they were monitoring the thermostat, @cazzie. It was already comfortable in the back room, but too hot in the front. Moving the thermostat would, obviously, make both rooms comfortable. Duh.

Yeah, she was a whipper-snapper, @Love_my_doggie. How do you close in on 40 and not have the life skills to outsmart tape?? She was the sister/manager but the sister/owner agreed 100% on the thermostat.

^^^ “How do you close in on 40 and not have the life skills to outsmart tape??”

You’re my best friend today. You just made me laugh out loud yet again. I’m loving your sense of humor on this otherwise-dreary, rainy day.

Among the dumbest is the infamous (paraphrased): We have to pass it so we can find out what’s in it. Spoken by your own SanFranNan

“Why does the rain get worse when we start moving again” (Spoken in a car).

“Do I need to put the cap back on real fast after putting gas in.”

Uttered by the same person.

Global News In Canada. She anounced that Barrack bin Laden. Was killed. Then she said Obama bin Laden was killed. Sorry I can’t find a link its been buried.

“Now child molesters have a reason to go into a ladies room.”

I would have to mull that for quite a while to come up with the dumbest.

Link Obama Osama News FAIL

Hearing our president say he had been to all 57 states is at the top of the list.

Here’s one I heard in the grocery today, that’s truly sad.

A barely school-aged girl and her mom are shopping, and the girl spies a ‘treat’ that’s on sale:
Girl: “Ooh! 5 for $5!”
Mom: “You don’t need that many.”
G: “2?”
M: “Okay.”
G: [Brightly] “2 for $2?”
M: ” I dunno,” as she wheels away.

@disquisitive, I’m no american, so I’m a bit rusty, but doesn’t america have 51 states?

^^^ Just 50, unless we count the State of Ignorance.

@IheartMypuppy The USA has 50 states. Our president should know that. You, on the other hand, not necessarily.

@Love_my_doggie, the state of ignorance is, of course, the most important state.

@disquisitive, it’s a similar story to Australia, people always forget at least one of the states/territories, (primarily the ACT, because everyone refuses to acknowledge it’s existence/isn’t even told about it)
I remember in a younger year level, we had a quiz: How many states/territories in Aus? The classroom was filled with young kids furious at the fact their answer of 7 was incorrect.

Even now, I have difficulties remembering off the top of my head the number of states and territories, (always forgeting the ACT). But at least I’m better than woolworths

The woolworth’s incident is also probably worthy of mention for something dumb, although it wasn’t said, it was done.

What is the ACT?

Sorry, forgot to explain that, the ACT is the Australian Central Territory, where Canberra is, the capital of Australia

Today I said that November doesn’t have Saturdays…

Well, I didn’t actually say that, I fell off of my chair before I could finish my sentence which was “I couldn’t have been in November, it was a Saturday -” before being cut off.

I was actually trying to say something along the lines of “You went to the markets, but it was a Saturday, and It was after sport, I didn’t do sport on Saturdays in November” (turns out I actually did)

But of course, me being me, I fell off of the chair after I said, “It couldn’t have been November, it was a Saturday” thus practically suggesting that November didn’t have Saturdays

Now people won’t stop giving me shit for it… Oh well

Just yesterday I had a neighbor ask how I got my yard to look so nice. So I started to tell her how high I set my mower cutting height, that I mulch leaves and grass back into the lawn, etc. But she stopped me and said “No. How do you get it so flat?” I had to tell her that when I bought the house, I filled in the low spots with dirt.

Lately?

“What is the difference between kidney beans and dried kidney beans?”

Today at work, after asking if they wanted whipped cream: “No way! I don’t do dairy with liquids!”