What part of your life do people think is fortunate but has a downside?

I live with my parents. People look at me and say: “Wow! You still have a lot of love and protection in this age!” Yeah, they are correct, but they haven’t taken into account the fact that my freedom and privacy is partially limited yet.

I don’t work and haven’t in quite awhile. I get disability from the government. The downside is having health issues and not having much money.

@anniereborn Anyone who thinks it’s better to not be physically able to work is delusional.

Working at a tech startup is awesome in a lot of ways so I can’t really complain, but I don’t think people realize that I’m working in the wee hours of the morning a lot of the time, and lately I’m suffering from the uncertainty as to whether my company will still be a company a few months from now.

@Mariah People say things like “you are so lucky you get to sleep in. You are so lucky you don’t have to go out/drive in the bad weather”. I wouldn’t say I am “lucky” but yes, I do enjoy those advantages. However I would trade them all to be healthy.

Could just be a coincidence, but every person I’ve known with lots of money have been miserable.

I’m sure there are kind, humble, happy people in the world who are rich, but I’ve yet to meet one.

Housestaff – High wage demands

I’m actually quite pleased to find that I’m having a hard time answering this question, as I try not to look at life this way.
The only thing that I can think of is along the lines of @anniereborn‘s answer, which is that I do not work a formal job due to health issues. People think it must be “so nice,” but it’s difficult not to worry about providing for myself long term and it also wreaks havoc on my self esteem. A lot of people tend to judge negatively when you don’t have an outwardly visible disability, as well.

People have a rather idealistic view of how and where I live, and I have to admit that it is good here. But not ideal. Ideal, I suppose, would be boring anyway. I’ve lived in a lot worse places, dangerous places, so I appreciate where I am now. What I do requires a quick learning curve as I’ve never done this before. If I screw up, plants and animals may die and the owner, personal friend, will lose his investment. So, there’s that little scythe overhead.

There is no real job security in this. The owner might want to retire from his work in Yorkshire, come down and take over next week or next year. The government has expressed a desire to buy this place from under the owner and add it to the National Park. All of this could evaporate within 24 hours. So, there’s that little scythe as well.

If I have a complaint at all, it would be that it’s difficult to get away from this place for more than 10 hours or so. These animals need to be fed and cared for, and I’m the only one here to do that. But this is easily solved with a couple days notice and I can bring in two very good teens to run the place for a few days and they love the hard currency they get for that. It’s like arranging a baby sitter, I guess. It’s really not a problem.

This was a hard question to answer. This setting and job is perfect for me at this time in my life. I’m bloody lucky to have landed this, and I remind myself of that daily.

Thanks, @cookieman….ugh

I am extraordinarily fortunate in material ways, and I am financially secure. These are outstanding blessings.
I come from a damaging, emotionally abusive family, and I have had numerous health issues, from which I recover every time, yay, but am more and more physically damaged every time.

A mindful awareness of the good things helps a lot, but I would have given up a lot for a loving family of origin.

And boy, am I judged harshly for the privilege that came with the family stuff.

Sorry @canidmajor.

I didn’t work for several years and thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated not having that obligation. However, the downside was over time (years) I started to be treated like I never had had a career at all. Also, it took a long time, but eventually I did feel the balance of power shift a little in my marriage. It was like now that I wasn’t financially contributing my husband felt more pressure, and so when money “issues” and decisions came up it was hard to escape he was the breadwinner. It was never a blaring thing, and we don’t have many money disagreements, but it’s still kind of there in the background for me.

@cookieman There was a study several years ago (I think only surveying Americans) that demonstrated that the more money the happier in general. The old cliche that money doesn’t buy happiness was supposedly proven wrong. I don’t know how well the study was conducted, but I so know money worries can be some of the worst worries.

@JLeslie: I remember that study ( or one like it) and it was skewed a bit, focusing on the low end, people who were really struggling. Not quite poverty, but nowhere near comfortable.
It really is an enormous relief to be secure, but for the actually wealthy (not Bill Gates, but folks with vacation homes and fancy colleges, expensive vacations, etc) the pressures on the kids can be overwhelming, the feeling of need to maintain can be crippling. The more intelligent among these folks are humbled by the pressures. My dad was such a man, and made sure that we worked, from the time we were about 13 on. Too bad my mom was such a pill.

I thought that study said that there was a cutoff that basically said that money stops increasing happiness after your basic needs are adequately covered without any worry. Suggesting that it’s not wealth that makes us happy, but security. Also, I remember reading that how you spend your extra money (assuming that you have any) is more linked to happiness than simply having wealth. Traveling and entertainment vs high ticket items were more likely to be linked to happiness, if I remember correctly. I’m too lazy to look it up. I’m pretty sure it was along those lines.

I would agree that enough money to be secure buys happiness.

I read once that the middle class have the most stress regarding money, because their “world” is more precarious. They can lose everything during a really bad time. It can be a huge change “backwards” in lifestyle. The argument was the very poor don’t have anything to lose, and the rich can ride the ups and downs. I’m not saying I agree, just repeating what a heard. This is separate from a happiness study.

I think it’s just common sense that the constant stress of having to choose between paying the electric bill, the rent, or for food and medicine for your kids would be a helluva lot more intense and fatiguing than a month or three of unemployment that cost a guy his jet ski, Harley or sail boat in order to keep from defaulting on his mortgage. That guy has a lot of cushions between him and the street, a lot more time to adjust his financial situation until things get better.

Layer that with the humiliation of having to tell people that because your kid got sick, you had stay home from work and now you can’t pay what you owe them. A lot of people treat poor people like shit. I’ve seen people treat the homeless badly. The cops in my county in Florida—especially the Sheriff—treat the homeless like shit-on-a-sidewalk. I think it is a lot more stressful to be poor than it is to be middle class. Living hand-to-mouth is extremely stressful and this is shows up in health statistics.

^^I agree. I think the constant check to check, or being under water often is way worse. However, if they have free healthcare, at least they have that security. Even if the healthcare isn’t stellar.

Many middle class, lower-middle and middle-middle, are in that situation. Some partly because they bought too much on credit and overspent, but some are just getting by every month without being as extravagant as you suggest.

I’m a loner. I leads me to meet a lot of strangers and I can act like a complete idiot without seeing anyone I know (well). The downside? I have no people I’m close with, which sucks at times for obvious reasons. But I can always just start a conversation with someone on the train if I’m feeling particularly lonely.