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RedDeerGuy1's avatar

When is the worst time that you had to pee? (NSFW possibly).

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (24945points) May 4th, 2016

Or anyone anytime? What would be the worst time for anyone to need to pee? Humor and fun welcome. (NSFW possibly).

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22 Answers

Mariah's avatar

LOL, I was at a guy’s house who I had a crush on and we were watching a movie. I was like 15. My mom was scheduled to pick me up at some particular time and we had figured out that we just barely had time to finish the movie. I had to pee so bad but I didn’t want to ask him to pause it. Then towards the end of the movie he admitted he had a crush on me too. So we’re having this really exciting and personal conversation (I’d never had a boyfriend before!) but meanwhile I feel like my bladder is going to explode. We finished the movie before my mom arrived, and I finally excused myself to pee. I swear the piss was exiting my body for a solid straight minute and a half. I remember thinking “oh god hurry up he’s going to think you’re pooping in here.” Simpler times.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@Mariah Better out than in. When you gotta go you gotta go. One pees when one must.

Coloma's avatar

Happens a lot to me because I drink a LOT of water. I am always having to find a bathroom while out running errands. Sometimes it gets really critical. haha
The worst though is riding horses, when you don’t think you have to go at all and then, you find yourself leaking in your saddle at a gallop. The literal meaning of getting the piss pounded out of you. lol

ucme's avatar

In the lead hearse travelling from the service to the crematorium at the wife’s dad’s funeral.
I was bursting for a slash & was tapping my feet ever faster as we slowly made our way, thought I was going to wear a hole in the floor of the car & “Fred Flintstone” the rest of the journey.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I was in college. We had gone to KC to party. During the party I managed to dump a bong full of bong water on me.
I sprayed myself with perfume, hoping it would help. It didn’t.
On the drive back, in the dark, I had to pee. It seemed we drove for hours looking for a gas station or something. Finally my friend, who was driving, just stopped on the side of the semi-busy 2 lane highway and I jumped out.
I had on overalls, and I had to pee so bad, and I was in such a panic in case someone should come along and hit me with their headlights, that I didn’t really pay attention to what I was doing (or maybe I was too drunk) and I peed on my overall strap.

I smelled so wonderful by the time we got back to the dorm at about 3 a.m.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

As soon as I clicked on this questi… oh wait… I’ll be right back.

Jeruba's avatar

Isn’t it awful that I actually know the answer to this?

Many years ago—more than 40!—I was with a group tour in France. We had just boarded a tour bus in Paris, bound for Versailles, when I realized that I oughtn’t to have passed up my last opportunity for a rest stop.

It was a long damned 45 minutes.

When the bus arrived in the village, I jumped out and ran into the nearest restaurant, communicating urgency with no more French than “Ou est la—?” I didn’t even remember the word. The host pointed silently toward the back, and I sprinted. Egad, what a memory.

Eventually I did catch up with my group in the palace, but I’d missed a good bit of the tour.

That might have been the last time I took such rash chances with my powers of control.

One of the many reasons that I would not want to be a celebrity or a public figure or be married to one. Having to open Parliament, sing an hour-long third act, appear on the platform at the presidential inauguration ceremony, ride in a slow parade…how many kinds of torture might that be?

zenvelo's avatar

in 2002, some pilots were freaked out about people being out of their seats, and used to put on the seat belt sign an hour or more early. One time, coming back to San Francisco from NY, the sign was turned on over Colorado with no warning, and then an announcement about our security.

By the time we were on the ground, I thought my bladder would burst. And then the flight attendant yelled at me when I tried to get up early.

imrainmaker's avatar

I had a very hard time controlling my urge not of peeing but other one while on a road trip and my stomach was upset. You can imagine the situation when you are desperately looking for a rest area and only thing you can see is a long road ahead.

JLeslie's avatar

Somewhere between the second and third day of my cycle I all of a sudden need to pee 5 times in less than two hours. It once happened to me when I was flying. Thank goodness it was during a part of the flight that I was allowed to get up. It was one of the few times I was not in the aisle seat. I’m pretty sure the guy next to me, who had to let me out every time, thought I was sick.

The rest of the month I’m usually a camel. I can go for hours. I usually sleep through the night.

MilkyWay's avatar

I myself haven’t experienced a very awkward “need to pee” situation, but this reminds me of the time I went to a protest in London with my dad. I was around 8, and it was an approximate 2–3 hour march through London to some place in Central London. Turns out my dad’s bladder wasn’t as good as mine. We had reached an area that was full of fancy five star hotels, and he really had to go. So he decided to use the “My child has to use the washroom” card. He walked in holding my hand into the nearest hotel (bear in mind this was a five star hotel, where the staff were dressed as if they were going to a black tie party with hats) and asked them if his daughter could use the restroom. The two doormen approached us as if they wanted to physically push us out of there xD
With a slightly worried yet disapproving look on their faces they apologised and told us only people who had a room booked could use any facilities. My dad didn’t give up straight away, he emphasised the point that I was a child (my reaction was both amusement and embarrassment) but they obviously declined. So he had to hold it in till we got to a McDonalds LOL

filmfann's avatar

I was dating a girl, and was too shy to excuse myself to use the bathroom. I swear my eyeballs were floating.

kritiper's avatar

I was in the hospital being treated for a severe infection. I had to pee SO BAD but couldn’t. The nurses finally stuck a catheter in me and the problem was solved. (The normal bladder holds a certain amount maximum and when the pee was finally able to flow, I peed ⅓rd more!) Except they stuck the catheter so far in that it was jammed against the far side of my bladder so I felt like I needed to pee all the time. Also, every time I moved the catheter moved in and out some so my poor tender flesh became chaffed and so very sore. Pure misery!!!

syz's avatar

This wasn’t me, it was my partner. But we and a small group of biologists that we had never met before were in a blind in Va. waiting to trap bald eagles for a study; we went out hours before dawn and set out a roadkill deer and then set the explosives charges and the net, then ran the line into the blind with a trigger. This was done in the dead of winter, with about 2 feet of snow on the ground. Then we hid in the blind (an old barn with only 2 rotten walls left standing) and had to wait silently for the surprisingly wary eagles to come to feed. If they spot you, or hear you, they won’t land. It was MISERABLY cold, and we waited for hours and hours. M finally had to pee so desperately, after dawn she snuck around the back of the barn where the birds hopefully wouldn’t be able to see her, and had to stay close to stay under cover. Shortly thereafter, a male biologist in the group decided he had to go too, not realizing that she was already out there, and since we couldn’t make any noise he missed our appalled and panicked hand gestures. He caught M in mid squat – not only that, he startled her and she farted. Then they had to share that small space for several more hours, pretending nothing had happened and not meeting each others’ eyes.

We only caught 1 bird that day.

cazzie's avatar

Every morning I have a long commute by bus. Mornings can be very hectic depending on how cooperative the kiddo is. I have to leave a hour before he does. So, if I don’t remember to pee right before I leave, my morning turns into a miserable bus ride. It’s 40 minutes to the city, then I get on another bus to get to where my job is in another suburb which is another half hour. Once, when I got to town, I had to go so bad, so I ran up to a shopping center and the cleaner was there and he had a sign, not open until 8am. (it was 7.45). He refused to let me enter. My only option was to go back to the bus stop and wait for my bus to take me to work and pee there. I look young, but I’m old, so the pain from the wait was horrible. I sometimes thing some of my back pain is from my kidneys because of my morning commute.

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^ Jebus. I am so sorry. I feel for you.

PullMyFinger's avatar

Walking around The Mall in Washington DC about 10 years ago with my wife and daughter, I was so mesmerized by first the Vietnam Memorial Wall, then The Lincoln Memorial that I did not realize how record-breakingly full my bladder was.

I could see a public restroom far in the distance, but the walk was excruciating. In a near-panic, I walked fast, ahead of my two girls, mentally encouraging myself….

“Thinkofsomethingelse….thinkofsomethingelse…..THINKOFSOMETHINGELSE !!”

Well, I somehow made it to the urinal without exploding, and said aloud to myself….“Oh, Sweet Jesus on a bike…..thank GOD !!”

I thought I was alone, until from a previously unnoticed stall, a guy says

“Me too…..The Lincoln Memorial, right… ??”

PullMyFinger's avatar

And I’m not complaining, you understand @RedDeerGuy1, but…..how long might we expect these ‘urination-related’ questions to continue arriving ??

(I’m just sayin’.....)

Coloma's avatar

@PullMyFinger Haha…that just happened to me today, by the time I had been out running around, driving, in and out of stores for about 2 hours and finally got home I barely made it. Literally dropped everything on the floor at the front door and ran to the bathroom. Sweet relief!

Dutchess_III's avatar

@PullMyFinger I think it’s worth mentioning that this question was asked over a year ago.

PullMyFinger's avatar

Well, I’m new around here, but one can’t help but wonder how long some of these questions live.

The other day I responded to a question, only to later notice that it was originally posted TEN YEARS AGO. Whoever posted it likely moved on a long time ago.

(Maybe they’re even dead, I mean…...who can say…..??)

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