I hate touchscreens: and other old-fogy-retro opinions, aversions, and prejudices. What's yours?

Assembly required snap together furniture of any kind. Cheapnis junk! Yuck!

I fucking hate the whole IOT (internet of things) bullshit.

My panini press doesn’t need to talk to my phone. My lights do not need a app. I do not want my fridge to freak the fuck out if google changes their API. Yes, that is a thing.

In the shop, I pay cash. Always. I hate people paying with cards.
My mice and headphones will always have cables.
I use my phone for telephony and as an alarm clock. No texting, no music, no internet.

I hate it every time they change the the thingy at the cashier station so I have to relearn how to pay about every month. I track certain kinds of expenditures through my cards, so when I don’t pay cash I am oft confused.
And this whole streaming thing for TV and movies just confuses me, I am happy to still have cable and DVDs.

Fkn telephone decision trees. “If you would like to get your hands on my throat, press 1.”

I have to admit that I lean the other way. While I used to read paper books for so many years, I can no longer tolerate them. Also, when I’m reading an article, it’s more of an interactive experience. I have multiple tabs open for fact-checking or learning more about something that was mentioned. When I try to read an article printed on paper now, I find that I want to confirm what I’m reading by hitting another source – but I can’t.

But as for car touch screens – I agree with you. The problem with them is that they rushed out poor technology just to say that they have a touch screen. We’ll eventually see it become more uniform and intuitive with Android Auto and Apple Carplay. But even here, they will need to make them less about interacting via touch screen and more about minimizing distraction. I intentionally bought a car model that didn’t have a touch screen. While I wanted some of the features of the upgrade, I couldn’t due to the touch screen.

If I have any tech pet-peeve, however, it’s the old-fashioned proprietary UIs found in some cheap digital thermostats, microwaves, stoves, gas pumps, and ATMs. Also, the poor performance is infuriating. If you press a button, it shouldn’t take 2 seconds for it to register.

All the above… plus leaf blowers, Twitter, selfies, closed grocery store lanes, use of cell phones in cars, and this year’s election cycle, a orgy of stupidity and incivility and preview of worse to come in years ahead.

Speaking of buttons being pushed, last year I needed to rent a car for two days. Upon finding the assigned car, I had no idea how to start it because there was no keyhole and no instructions. The long trek back to the counter and having to ask for assistance was slightly frustrating.

The real annoyance though is the lack of notice about updates before they take place. #2 is the lack of training that should be offered. Facebook is a prime example. FB is a popular company that is popular and financially well in the black. Why don’t they reinvest some of that money towards creating a tutorial for new users and smaller versions for existing members when updates are about to occur?

I refused to get touch screen smart phones for the first several years after they became socially popular. They were just way to touchy. You just looked at it wrong and it sent you who knows where. However, in the last year they’ve gotten much better, so I have one now. For the most part it works for me 99% of the time, with no frustration.

Overall, though, I enjoy new technology. I don’t fall for the flash fads, though.

Telephone IVR systems “your call is important to us”. Well why you don’t answer the damn phone!!

Passwords. The bane of my life.

Politicians: If only Abraham Lincoln could stand against Donald Trump.

Weaponry: Nuclear bombs and drones. Wars should be fought between consenting adults with swords in a field well outside the city limits.

I can’t believe people want those single purpose buttons that order Tide detergent or whatever from Amazon.

Talk to text may push me over the edge, screaming into the abyss. Google maps is a lying, passive-aggressive bitch. The beltline. Words fail me. And this f###g phone in my hand just randomly calls people. Hate hate hate. AND the talk to text not only screws up what I say, it has the NERVE to censor me!

I hate corporate buzzwords and phrases:
“synergy”
“can neither confirm nor deny”
“buy in”
“Core value” “living the core values” “bringing value” .....

God, I hear most of that shit almost daily. I liked it when People were not afraid to “say good job” “your performance sucks” “the budget won’t allow it” etc.. rather than use slippery jargon.

I absolutely loathe ebooks and kindles and such. (Sorry not sorry)
I’d pick a good old fashioned paper book any day, with its wonderful smell and worn pages. Its magical to hold a book, feel it, smell it, have the words there in front of you in ink. I may sound slightly loopy at this point but I don’t care. These things will eventually take over real books and the world will be a worse place than it is already… a world with only digital words and books on screens. Blegh, makes me feel sick.

I hate the kinds of movies people around me enjoy. I feel like they will settle down for anything that has good special effect, pretty actors/actresses and some stupid humor. Yeah, anything but the plot! What kind of movies doesn’t need a plot? After watching a movie I only see people commenting how pretty the characters are or how eye-popping the special effect is, but when I ask about the plot, they are all like: “Err… do we need that?”

And I don’t like selfie, but I don’t mind people taking selfie at all. What infuritates me is how much they care. I just hate it when people I hang out with take several shots with one pose and get angry when the photos are not “perfect”. Sometimes we have to do everything all over again because they delete all the photos. Not to mention all the editing and Facebook that happen right after that. Agh! Are you hanging out with me or posting selfie online?

Maybe these aren’t so retro because I’m not that old. Am I just an oddball?

Single-purpose kitchen gadgets that are already more than adequately replced by a knife—or a grater, or a saucepan.

I ♥ @MilkyWay!

e-cards.

Of course I appreciate the thought when someone sends an electronic birthday, anniversary, holiday, or other greeting card. But, there’s just something lacking. A message, flashed across my computer screen for a few seconds, can’t take the place of a display of real cards. I enjoy them every time I walk past and often pick them up and read them again.

@ARE_you_kidding_me Ikr? Add to that list the phrases “moving forwrd” and “reach out”. I’d like to pound people into the ground when I hear those being used. And metrics and lifestyle, though lifestyle isn’t really a stupid corporate word, its just irritating for some reason. And any drone who pretends to like whatever stupid idea/new way of doing business that corporate hands down from on high and acts like it’s a great idea and they can’t wait to start using all the new phrases. Thank god I’m out of the whole corporate soul crushing mess.

Robo-calls. In spite of being on the Do Not Call list, I still receive two or three such calls a day.

Always replacing things. I am old school, when something breaks, I first try to fix it, and then maybe repurpose it, and finally recycle it. I often do without rather than replace.

—@Dutchess_III aww darling ♡

Hearing “Press one for this, press two for that, press three for this” and at no point, hearing how to get to a real live person.

“Public” posts on Facebook. Lately, a lot of my “friends” on Facebook, who really don’t know how the privacy settings work, will click a “like” on anybody’s “public” post, not realizing that everything they’re saying, as well as their friend (who I don’t know from Adam) and the original poster (who I don’t know from Eve) comes into my newsfeed. It’s like getting someone else’s mail by accident, and then sharing it with all of the neighbors. My God people! Learn to use your privacy settings and your gear icon! Just in the last month, I’ve seen hundreds of wedding pictures from random people who I don’t know and will never know. I’ve seen strange babies, sick children in the hospital, and people on their deathbeds, none of whom I know, simply because people don’t know how to use their privacy filters.

People using cell phones while driving. I live in Southern California, one of the most populated areas in the country. It’s dangerous to drive when people are looking at their phones instead of the road. It’s illegal here to do it, but lots of people do anyway. I’ve never seen anyone get pulled over for doing it.

I hate it when they try to send my older parents to use some type of new automated, computerized system at the doctors office, bank, the dmv or whatever. They don’t use computers at home and are intimidated by them in public. They don’t want to be made to feel stupid or humiliated, but the “customer service people” always want to steer them towards the new technology because it makes their life easier (some how). They both would prefer to simply talk to someone directly.

Drive up window menus that are at the same spot (there should be a menu, then pull up to order) as the person shouting at me from the clown’s mouth in unintelligible sounds. I just pulled up, I have to look at the menu. I don’t go to McJackintheKing very often, so I have to read the menu BEFORE I order. And no, I do not want fries with that, nor an apple pie, nor do I want to supersize anything. And no matter how often, or clearly I ask for the onions to be left off, the order always comes with onions. Always.

Me too on the single-use kitchen gadgets, the Amazon buttons, and leaf blowers. And the Amazon buttons. Did I mention the Amazon buttons?

Can someone explain the Amazon buttons to me? I see them on the Amazon home page but don’t know what they are. I just see all kinds of brands.

A chicken nuggets setting? The mind boggles.

I hate those automated voice thingies when you call up organisations. “Do you need information about your account? Say yes or no.” NO. “I’m sorry I couldn’t understand you. Do you need information about your account?” NO! “Did you say you want to speak to an insurance salesperson?” NO! “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand you.” At this point I usually start swearing.

@Kropotkin I saw my first egg cracker just yesterday!

Easily replaced by…well…your hand. lol

@ibstubro
I have seen a test of those. They do not really work.

Why would anyone even try? @ragingloli

It’s one of the more ridiculous looking gadgets I’ve seen.

@jca “Amazon Dash Button is a Wi-Fi connected device that reorders your favorite product with the press of a button. Each Dash Button is paired with a product of your choice, which is selected during the set-up process. When you’re running low, simply press Dash Button and get a quick two-day shipping”

Link

Battery powered bikes, use your fucking lungs ya lazy bastards

I forgot to mention “brand”. Just the thought makes me feel hostile. Everyone has to have a brand. I despise it and all that it implies.

@ibstubro That egg-cracked certainly cracked me up, although I doubt it could do the same for an egg. More likely, it would crush and pulverize the entire thing.

@Kropotkin, I agree that space-wasting, single-purpose utensils have no place in a kitchen. But, please don’t try to take away my (1) zester and (2) cherry-pitter. Both devices have limited use, but they make fast, easy work of some otherwise tedious tasks.

@Love_my_doggie cherry-pitter

We had a fruit farmer as a family friend when I was a kid. How lucky is that!!

Every year he gave us a 5-gallon bucket of cherries. Yes, that cherry pitter was worthwhile.

Car design dictated by the nannystate:

Roof pillars so thick you cannot see out. (airbags, new mandate that a car’s roof must be able to support the vehicle in the event of a rollover).

Needlessly tall hood designs that kill visibility and aerodynamic efficiency (pedestrian safety mandate).

Side impact beams that add performance robbing mass.

All manner of air quality devices that throttle engine performance and add mass.

Manufacturer wide fuel economy quotas. (Causing some carmakers to give up on their performance car programs all together).

The two limitations just above are killing the purist market. It killed off Porsche’s superior air cooled 911. Manufacturers such as BMW’s M division has been forced to preserve engine output by adopting decidedly un Mtech approaches such as turbocharging. Forced induction has no place in a proper M badged BMW.

Example: BMW’s S85 V10 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BMW_S85 is considered one of the greatest production car engines ever built. BUT HEY, THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS BETTER THAN 100 YEAR OLD BMW DOES IT NOT?

Thrust to mass limitations. (Interesting that this rule is less rigidly applied the more one can spend on a car. In other words inexpensive properly quick cars are banned).

THE US’S INSIPID 25 YEAR IMPORTING RULE. (One cannot import and register all manner of foreign gems such as Honda’s Civic Type R, Nissan’s legendary Skyline, earlier versions of Ford’s brilliant Focus RS) until they are antiques.

@Jeruba The term you are looking for your questions description is known as RetroGrouch.

You know what, come to think of it; I have a single use kitchen tool that I got from pampered chef and even though I can make tart shells without it, my family gets pecan tarts a lot more often than they otherwise would because of it, You just dip it in flour and then mash the ball into a shell. Bing bang boom done. I also have a cherry pitter and it really does make it go a lot faster with less aggravation.

One of my fondest memories is sitting out front in the stationary porch swing, pitting gallons of cherries with my great grandmother. Snapping green beans. Shelling peas. No special utensils required.

Hahaha I vomited a little over the corporate buzzwords thing, gag. The Amazon button thing sounds pretty gross too. Those phones that don’t text- I text as fast as I talk hate talking on the phone. Video chat different thing love those. Posts on fb that are: memes, nothing but memes. Along the lines of, “I hate people” (stupid picture) ” if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” -shut yo bitchass up. Or, heaps of atheist, Christian etc. posts we get it, you’re a fill-in-the-blank. Minions. A long thing that says “if you agree, copy paste this to your status, don’t just share.” Piss off I don’t want to. People that get RABID about socialism, universal healthcare, and say terrible things about countries they know nothing about. Fedoras.

Pressing 1 for English.

This function only works for the duration of the call.

I suppose I must weigh in on kitchen utensils as well:

Spare me your needlessly expensive and beautiful cooking tools. Tongs, fucking tongs. Professionals use the inexpensive, bare bones, simplest ones. They use them for everything, lifting lids, opening ovens, throwing them at incompetent cooks and whiny servers. When the tongs have been beaten to shit they toss them in the trash and get out a fresh pair.

Same goes for your precious, lovely pans.

Pros use simple and somewhat durable ones. They see a life of abuse as well. They are warped from being thrown while still hot into the dishwasher’s waiting full sink. Teflon? LOL. Such surfaces don’t stand a chance under a chef’s, you guessed it, metal TONGS.

Just give me a real man or woman’s pan. Thick heavy bottom with riveted bare metal handle.

Insulated handles are for pussies. What do you think kitchen towels are for?

@trailsillustrated: I agree wholeheartedly about the FB rant thing, please paste this to your timeline for one hour and share and I’ll do it to, if you hate child abuse, love someone with cancer, miss your grandmother, use one word that describes how you met me, hate domestic violence, know someone with ________ disease.

I also hate artificial ivory.
Just because those stupid pinko commie liberals have to insist on “protecting animals”.
Fake ivory is pointless.
Unless I know that some lowly animal was brutally slaughtered for it, it has no value.