Social Question
What should I tell my girlfriend when she asks what I am attracted to about her?
It was love at first sight all those years ago. Before I knew her name, I wrote in a journal I was keeping that she was quiet, shy, pretty, and seemed lonesome. She was kinda like the girl you fall in love with that first autumnal season of college, when you’re maybe 18 or 19 years old and have no way of meeting or getting close to unless you have someone to introduce you to her and vise versa.
Anyhow, the girl didn’t go for me then. The things I tried to do to seem non-threatening actually made me seem very odd to her. But I wrote her some very nice letters—the only way I could “get an audience” with her.
Years later and well into adulthood—almost to mid-life, we cross paths for maybe the third or fourth time and we seem to hit it off. Neither of us are well off financially or even permanently financially solvent. But we were a couple. She lauds me now for what all I have done for her, and wants to know why I am attracted to her.
I basically reiterate what I said in the first paragraph, above. That I fell in love with a girl I didn’t know because of her demeanor and that she seemed very nice and yet wouldn’t give me a chance. By now, in fact, I find a lot NOT to like about her, but I still love her.
Her self esteem is very low yet she basically thinks everyone is mistreating her. There is some truth to this, but she cannot always be first even in my life. She is somewhat a hypocondriac but is good with health matters, diet, etc. She keeps me organized but takes far too much time being meticulous over extraneous details. I am amazed at her neatness and orderliness but she doesn’t dream much (I’ve wasted my life on daydreams, it seems—she thinks I ought to be a doer).
And even though I’m the one good with words, I cannot really say why I love her or what attracts me to her.
If it matters, on the Meyers-Briggs Personality Accessment, she is an ISTJ – Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
(Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking)
— and I am an INPF (Introverted, iNtuitive, Perceiving, Feeling)
We are both introverts but I am much more social and she is very picky about everything.
I really do not know what to tell this woman about why I am attracted to her, though normally I am very good with words and descriptions.
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