[NSFW] If your favourite male character were homosexual, would he be a top, or a bottom?

My favorite character is you Loli.

I’d have you switching to my whim.

Now go make me a Brandy Alexander.

After that, the cleaners called. They got the stain out of the kitty suit.

No, the purple one.

I’ll cover a few of them:

Aragorn: A top, but only by default. He’d like to try bottoming but can’t find anyone who doesn’t simply assume he’s the boss.

Data: A switch. He’s programmed in multiple techniques, after all.

Vegeta: Not only a bottom, but a Slave. Only his Master knows.

Mulder: Doesn’t know. He still can’t get laid.

Captain America: Top…because he’s Captain Fuckin’ America.

Iron man, mr Stark takes the top

Can’t give any examples, only know I usually cheer for the underdog, the uke.

Batman is a bottom to Robin’s top. It’s hard to be tough all day…

Well, my favourite character at the moment is BBC Sherlock, so already gay. I think switch, although this is apparently controversial.

It’s hard to imagine Mr Darcy as anything but a top.

Mine is Sherlock Holmes. Not the modern version, though I do like him a lot also. I would imagine him as a top.

I can’t see Humphrey Bogart as anything but a top.

Sherlock has been mentioned.

The homoerotic overtones in the Robert Downey/Jude Law films were so obvious as to be nearly laughable.

Based on what I saw Downey was assertive but clearly the one hankering for being given a good ride.

But such is the way with high powered professionals.

I should know, I married one.

My favourite character would tell you and anyone else to mind their own fucking business.

@cazzie
Fred Flintstone is totally the bottom to his pet dinosaur.

Not my favourite character. My favourite character shoots first without a re-write and is already going to the special hell.

@cazzie is totally right, though.

If he or she were in fact homosexual, it would have been mentioned in the book. I remember J. K. Rowling trying to claim post-publication that one of the characters were gay. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. If that character was gay, she should have mentioned that in the book, but you can’t claim something like that about a character long after publication just because it became something trendy to do.

@GSLeader – Um, they’re her characters to retcon if she wants to. That’s how being an author works.

@cazzie I can’t see him as anything but a top, though. The one in the hat though? Switch all day.

@Seek Is telling people that Dumbledore was gay actually retconning, though? I thought she wrote him with this in mind, but just didn’t make it overt in the text (leaving hints in subtext in the later books).

IMO – no. There was no reason to make any sort of inference as to Dumbledore’s sexuality in the books at all. For that matter, we don’t know the sexuality of Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Trelawney, or Umbridge, either.

Maybe J. K. Rowling should announce “Oh, and the lead character’s name was actually Harriet Potter, a confused girl who thought she was a boy, but she wasn’t. She was a girl. I also forgot to mention that in all of those books. Sorry, my bad.” That would be a hoot!

That would have an enormous effect on the story and wouldn’t make sense in the context, unlike the mostly-irrelevant-to-the-story sexuality of an elderly peripheral character.

My favorite character relies on his heterosexual nature for some plot points so ain’t gonna happen. Others in the story are more fluid-like so I’ll be in my bunk.

@seek Makes sense to you or not, they’re her characters to retcon if she wants to. That’s how being an author works.

@GSLeader You must be great fun at parties.

I don’t go to parties, but thanks anyway.

@GSLeader The sexuality of the kids’ characters was already explored in the books, and I don’t think Rowling left any room for further development there.

I mean, we all know that the majority of the population is heterosexual, so one can generally expect a character to be straight in the absence of more information. But there’s no reason to be angry or disappointed if that assumption is later shown to be false. Why should it matter?

I can’t even believe I just made an argument for heteronormative assumptions in the media. I must need more coffee.

Haha, it’s fair, though. We know Harry was born male and identified as a male. We know he liked girls because of his crush on Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley.

Now, if someone told me Fred Weasley was gay, I wouldn’t be at all surprised. He took a girl to a school dance, but he’s never mentioned as dating them and his feelings are never known. Ditto Seamus Finnegan (for that matter, a Seamus/Dean relationship would make a sort of sense).

Actually, I identity as somebody who sees Harry Potter as a confused little girl who thinks she’s a boy. The wand she carries represents penile envy. She hangs with an owl, owl’s say “Who, who, who, ” which repress Harriet Potter thinking “Who am I? ” Her giant glasses represent the way she wants to see things, not the way they really are. I identify with someone who sees Harry Potter as a confused little girl who thinks she is a boy, and if that’s who I identify to be, than you can’t deny me for who I really am.

I’d read that fanfic. You should write it up.

Did you know that Ron Weasley, also known by his real name, Allan A. Allen, before he became a wizard, was actually a genius child inventor, who built a rocket, powered by the farts of his best friend, Patrick Smash?

There are over a hundred Harriet Potter fics. I’m actually surprised there aren’t more.

I want to read the Sirius/Lupin furry slash fics. I’m sure there are at least a thousand of those.

Ha! Not my cup of tea, but yeah there are bound to be a lot of those.