What is the funniest thing ever uttered by humanity?

Wrong Monty Python sketch.

The Funniest Joke in the World

“Why should we fight of rhis right to have babies when he can’t have babies?” “Don’t you oppress me.” “I’m not oppressing ya Stan, you haven’t got a womb!”

“Your arm’s off.” “No it isn’t.” “Well what’s that then?” “I’ve had worse.” “You liar!” “Come on ya pansy!”

I also have always liked George Carllin’s “Hand me that piano.”

“God.”

A Group of scientists got together to make a powerful computer to answer a question about life. The machine turned on and the scientists asked “is there a God?” The machine gave an answer “there is now.”

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

“Tell me, do you bleed?”
– Batman to Wonderwoman

Mickey Mouse at his divorce trial: “Judge, I didn’t say Minnie was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!”

@Call_Me_Jay

“Joke warfare was banned.”

I had forgotten how hilarious that was.

GA.

“She’s mediocre. Of all the ocres, she’s the mediest.”

Dan, VEEP. funniest show on television

Trump for President.

I’m not exactly sure but I would bet David Mitchell was involved.

The difference between Iraq and Vietnam was that George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

Jesus died for your sins.