(NSFW) Are you opposed to pornography?

I am not opposed to pornography.

Like prostitution, if you make it legal, open, and above-board it can be regulated and made safe.
Forcing sex into the unregulated dark corners of society breeds abuse, corruption, and disease.

What is pornongraphy? One person’s porn is another person’s art.

What about media? Pornography in text? Still pictures? Movies? Live shows? There’s a qualitative difference, I think.

Who decides what is pornography? Is it the most religious person in the city?

I agree with @ibstubro – license it and do it safely.

I think pornography is whatever disgusts me, anything I enjoy is sexuallly provocative art.
As Justice Stewart is reputed to have said in 1964: “I know it when I see it”.

And yes, I have on occasion enjoyed sexually provocative art and am certainly not opposed to it.

Whatever trips your trigger. Just not in my house.

Rick isn’t in to porn, and I’m glad. At least, in the 14 years we’ve been together I haven’t even caught a whiff of it if he is, but I don’t think he is.

One time he stopped by an acquaintance’s house to talk car engines. The guy hollered, “Come on in.”
Rick went in, and the guy was sitting in a recliner, in the living room, drinking beer and watching porn on his giant 62” TV. He made no attempt to turn the TV off, turn it down or change the channel. Further, his wife and grown daughter were in the house. His daughter came once in to tell him something, then went back out. Rick was floored. He left quickly because he was really uncomfortable.

But, whatever trips your trigger.

Anyone who complains about porn because of exploitation and still buys Nike shoes and Apple computers is a hypocrite.

AS long as it is legal and all the people are there on their own free will, I have no problem with it at all.

There seems to be a great deal of difference/diversity in what and how people define pornography. Perhaps you should define it specifically.

I’m one that is opposed for the most part. If pornography is “used” in a non-compulsive manner on occasion, no biggy, but, as a women who divorced a porn addict once upon a time I have watched the rise pun intended of the industry grow pun again, over close to a 40 year span from the late 70’s until present times.
Also as a women who has known many other women who have had their relationships negatively effected by a partners compulsive use of porn, I think it is a slippery slope for many. There’s that pun again.
The problem with porn is the same problem with drinking or drugs or any, potentially, addictive substance, for vulnerable types it can ruin ones relationships and diminish healthy sexual and intimate relating. It has been said that sexual arousal is the most potent drug of all and for many males the arousal and chronic masturbation and default from true intimacy in their relationships is a very real and unhealthy outcome of chronic porn use.

^^^ GA, @Coloma. I know it would bother me knowing my husband was watching 18 year olds having sex, wondering if he was comparing our sex life to the fantasy he sees on TV.

No, why?

“Exploited? She’s the one holding the whip.”

-Patsy Stone.

@Coloma

It doesn’t always go this way.

I met my wife of nine years in a chatroom devoted to a sexual kink far too “out there” to mention aloud.

My wife is a producer of pornography, both graphic and literary (the original definition of pornography).

She and I both know that the other indulges in porn (when we do together it is rather untittilatingly analytical).

Porn is the backbone of your precious Internet.

Your local church’s poorly executed website is able to exist because it hangs from the frame of Internet porn.

Two old buggers sitting on a park bench see a penis chasing a vagina, one says “what in the blue blazes was that?” The other nonchalantly replies…it’s “just one fucking thing after another”
Same with porn, when push comes to shove

“Are you opposed to pornography?”

No.

@SecondHandStoke None of what you say though has anything to do with the very real addictive behaviors many experience. Porn addiction is part of level 1 sex addiction and is based on unhealthy coping behaviors. Like all addiction if porn use is used as a coping mechanism, used in secret and escalates with negative consequences to self and others it is a problematic behavior. 1960’s television was all sponsored by cigarette and booze companies too.

@Coloma – The same can be said for anything. There are people addicted to eating toilet paper, and people who use compulsive hand-washing as a coping mechanism.

Right but the people in their sphere who are affected by their behaviors become very intolerant of toilet paper and hand washing, gamboling, or porn, whatever addiction it is they have that tore their relationship apart.

It’s OK in its place I suppose but personally I prefer sex.

^^^ The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Freedom of speech is vital to a free society. That’s what I liked about the original Answerbag, they believed in free speech in the comment section where all the chit-chat occurred (I remember one flame war that broke out years ago between two Mormon brothers and a porn writer…oh the memories).

@Seek Of course, but in an intimate relationship eating TP or compulsive hand washing is not going to have the same damaging effects as a partner with porn addiction. I once found porn videos from my ex slipped into Disney movie video jackets when my daughter was about 4 years old. I was fucking livid! Really, hiding your porn in your little girls movie collection, seriously, WTF is wrong with you! I’m sure glad that she didn’t whip out The Little Mermaid and find out it was really “The Whores Have Eyes.” Pffft!

I agree with those who have said there are different levels of porn. I’d need to know what level of porn you want to talk about. Playboy used to be banned in Queensland. In other places, you can watch hard-core porn in cinemas.

No, I am not opposed to pornography. And I don’t think that banning pornography is the best way to resolve any of the problems that pornography might play a part in. That some people are addicted to pornography is not a good reason to prohibit everyone from accessing it, especially since it’s the addiction that is the problem and not the pornography. The same goes for the role that pornography supposedly plays in reinforcing sexism. The problem is the sexism, not the pornography. Pornography can’t reinforce something that isn’t there in the first place, so the best thing to do is address the societal problem of sexism itself.

No. Not all porn is exploitative. Luckily, I prefer the “realistic” stuff anyway. I think it’s called amateur porn, but I could be way off.

@Coloma What if I’m not in a relationship?

@Seek My point exactly, excellent answer.

Nope. There’s not a lot of porn that I’ve ever found arousing, and most of it seems kind of disgusting to me. But my personal tastes don’t get to dictate what others create. Also, I’m really into erotica, which isn’t really all that different when it comes right down to it. So I don’t think I can be for one and against the other.

@dxs As I said, occasional use is not an issue, but, porn can have highly addictive qualities and so, like other addictive substances one proceeds at their own risk. The occasional use is not a problem but if one is “using” compulsively and engaging in compulsive masturbation as a way to manage negative emotions/anxiety and/or masturbating to a point of self injury, it is an issue, obviously. In relationships the issue is hiding from intimacy not the content of the porn itself. Sexuality is meant to be a shared activity between two people involving some measure of intimate relating, and porn is devoid of that factor.

Porn use is an activity pursued in isolation and results in lack of intimacy with ones partner.
it is easy to use, readily available, and requires no relating whatsoever and removes incentive to improve ones intimate relationships. It can also result in a lack of desire for ones partner just like a steady diet of junk food is not only unhealthy but diminishes ones cravings for healthier fare. If you want to really appreciate and enjoy your partner, just like a fine meal, you don’t gorge on a smorgasboard of junk food before taking a seat at your own dinner table. A steady diet of junk sexuality dulls ones sexual appetite for the healthier fare of intimate connection with ones partner.

If I want to really get excited about and enjoy my fruit salad for dinner I am not going to stuff my face on donuts first. Porn is the McDonalds of sexuality, fast, cheap, easy, but lacking in nutrition and will make you fat and lazy when it comes to your relationships. The occasional treat is fine, a steady and regular diet is not.

Well, if you’re not in a relationship @dxs, it’s a non issue for you or for the partner you don’t have.

@Coloma

Why must sexuality be a shared experience? Why can one not explore one’s sexuality in solitary?

@Coloma My point is that not everyone has the same views of relationships as you. And, as @SecondHandStoke pointed out, not everyone has the same type of relationships as you.

@Darth_Algar Everyone masturbates, and self sexual discovery is fine, I’m talking about compulsive use of porn and the addictive side that, like all addictions, ruins relationships because the drug of choice is the true partner even if it means risking losing ones most cherished relationships or other high risk behaviors like sexual self injury, unsafe sexual practices, etc.

@dxs My views on relationship are not the point I am making.
My point is that porn/sex addiction is real and it is has very destructive consequences in many relationships. Occasionally using porn or masturbation as a tension release is normal, compulsive use that involves the hallmarks of addiction, lying, hiding, minimizing use, risking relationships, refusing to stop when it is causing relationship issues is destructive behavior.

I’m just stating some facts, that porn, just like many other things can be highly addictive and results in the same consequences that many other addictions do. Loss of self esteem, job loss, relationship loss, health issues, shame, inability to quit or regulate on ones own. Compulsive porn use, compulsive strip club patronizing, phone sex, chat room sex, compulsive masturbation and serial affairs are all part of level one sexual addiction.

Nobody has to take my word for it, do your own research, but don;t shoot the messenger. haha

@Coloma

Phrases like “sexuality is meant to be…” sound like you’re going beyond the simple issue of porn wrecking marriages.

@Darth_Algar I don’t think what I am sharing is that difficult to understand, there is no right or wrong when it comes to sex, and of course we are all capable of recreational sex without bonding and solo sex for the sake of self gratification, and gay sex for recreational and intimate purpose, but yes, sex is not intended to be a solo activity on a regular basis otherwise we would all have evolved as asexual beings like earthworms. Intimacy is part of a well rounded sexual experience and addiction in all it’s forms precludes intimacy with self and others.

Sex is fine. But sexual addiction (to the point of hiding porn DVD’s in your kid’s Little Mermaid cd box….oops, forgot about that kid. Did you like it daughter? Did you learn anything?) is not fine.
Alcohol is fine. As an addiction it is not fine.

@Coloma

You’re contradicting yourself. If there’s “no right or wrong” when it comes to sexuality, then your “intended to be” argument flies out the window.

And I’m not sure you still understand what asexual means (I seem to recall this from quite awhile back).

In regular sex, there can be a lot of variation. In addiction that variation strays in to socially unacceptable areas.

I’m an asexual being, at least I’m on the spectrum.

Some people just don’t need physical intimacy with others. Asexuality is very little understood and even less talked about, so it’s not at all surprising that many people find themselves with in relationships with asexual or demisexual partners who don’t even understand their own sexuality.

It can definitely be hurtful to one’s feelings to learn that their partner doesn’t crave intimacy the same way they do. For some asexuals, sexual self-stimulation is almost clinical: done to relieve stress or help one sleep. Sometimes it’s done compulsively because they feel like they are broken for not wanting sex and they’re trying to fix themselves. Add a thick layer of shame on that and you might have hidden porn caches.

@Darth_Algar You’re just doing what you do best, arguing for the sake of arguing.
I am using the term asexual to mean those animals that can reproduce by themselves without the need for a sexual partner. The other use of asexual means someone that doesn’t require sex to feel fulfilled as @Seek is referring. In most instances in nature sex is intended to promote a bonding experience, at least long enough to reproduce. Human sexuality is multi-faceted yes, but intimacy is part of the big sexuality picture and sexual addiction excludes intimacy on all levels.

@Seek That could be true in some instances but the average porn addict is actually exhibiting hypersexual behavior most of the time in relation to coping with negative emotions not to cover up asexuality.

@Coloma

Perhaps then when discussing terms that can have very different meanings depending on the context, you should be a little more clear.

And you seem to be doing what you do best, applying your own personal feelings and standards to all.

Well, they have AA for alcoholics. They have Gamblers Anonymous. They have all kinds of programs for people with all kinds of addictions. Sounds like somebody went and applied their own personal feelings to all, and that’s why all those programs began. It destroyed her marriage. It was one of many things, but it was a biggie. She’s just pointing out that it can have a very negative influence on a relationship, just like alcohol or gambling or whatever.

@Darth_Algar Well, I did ultimately, clarify, and I am not imposing my feelings and standards, Feelings aren’t facts, I just stated the facts about the potential for porn to be addicting as it is classified in the sexual addiction realm.

@Dutchess_III Thank you for clarifying what I guess I failed at. haha