Do you hoard, or do you know any one who does?

Years ago, I had a client who hoarded. He was elderly and disabled, so I regularly stopped by his house. The place was a mess of papers, piled from floor to ceiling and covering every surface. The man’s son affectionately called him “Miss Havisham.” At the time, I thought that the son was flippant and insensitive, and that the man needed help. I now understand that it would have been cruel and useless to try to “help” a man of age 90+, and that letting him be was an act of kindness.

I’m the anti-hoarder! I routinely fill a big box with useful things, attach a “Free Stuff” sign, and put it on my sidewalk. In fact, tomorrow’s going to be a sunny, gorgeous day of a holiday weekend, so I’ve already assembled a box! I get a weird sense of elation and cleanliness when I get rid of things.

I know and have known people who hoarded, it usually was a sign of poverty, or lack of wealth or some mental instability.

I do not hoard if anything I am a compulsive thrower outer and it is getting harder and harder to keep pace with my wife.

A friend of mine calls me a hoarder and suggests I get help. I am a slob, and only organize every few weeks, but my floors are clear, the only surfaces that are cluttered are tables, and I don’t have any of the clinical markers other than “lousy housekeeper”. She, however suffers from debilitating OCD, for which she is being treated. We no longer meet at each other’s homes.
I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.

@Hypocrisy_Central I’ve read that hoarding is caused by a profound, crippling fear of loss. A hoarder finds it impossible to part with certain items, no matter how useless those items may be, because the fear is overpowering.

Such feelings may be triggered by poverty, but insurmountable grief is often the cause. We all suffer immensely when we lose someone we love, whether to death or separation, but the pain should diminish over time. It seems that some people lack that ability to live with, or perhaps despite, loss.

I know one who likes to keep empty boxes of all sizes. It is really hard to convince such people to throw it away.

My dad is. Not as bad as what you see on the TV shows, but bad enough. It got worse over time. I’m not a hoarder, but I’m far from being a neatnik. I can have some mess around and it doesn’t bother me, but I much prefer a neat house. I don’t buy a lot of stuff, and I like to throw stuff out. I know I’m bad at making a place for something, so I don’t buy much in the first place.

My husband’s family are neater than me, but I also think they don’t have as many interests so it’s easier. They aren’t reading, or working on multiple projects. My MIL typically spends 5–6 hours a day in the kitchen. It’s incredible. I would slit my wrists, and I usually don’t mind cooking. Then 2–3 hours shopping 2 times a week. That’s shopping for food or vitamins. Then add hours and hours of watching tennis and soccer for my FIL and rosary for my MIL. My only point is, my husband is used to a clean house, and he wishes I was neater, but I have more shit that I deal with. More paper. I’m planning trips, working, looking at something that interests me.

Cluttered desk, cluttered mind. Empty desk…

I just moved and all my stuff easily fit in this. There was actually a ton of space left over.

My mom is sort of hoarderish. She considers collecting crap as our inheritance. I have said 1000 balls of yarn will be a burden when she dies and I don’t want to deal with burning it all.

No, like @Cruiser, I am more prone to throw things out or give them to charity.

@Love_my_doggie I have a big wicker basket by the back door. It quickly gets filled up with stuff to to take to Goodwill. I usually make a run about once a month.

I love the curb thing! It’s freaking amazing the stuff people take!

I wonder how much of is learned? My husband’s dad has a basement full of…stuff. Stuff. Old bolts and screws and fans and…stuff.
My husband also tends to favor piling stuff around the outside of the garage, especially since there is little to no more room in there. Bleh. I manage to clean up 2 or 3 times a year. It all looks about like the house he grew up in, where his 93 year old dad still lives.

We need to be careful here about labelling someone as a “hoarder”. There is a vast difference between collecting and letting it take control of one’s life.

People who collect may do so for a variety of reasons: to make a profit, the desire to complete a collection, sentimentality, its background is of interest, for reference, it may come in use at some point, etc. Some collectors are highly organised; others, not so much.

When the scales tip from just being a collector into becoming a weakness, or a hoarder, it is when it takes over their life. Their financial status has nothing to do with it. That’s like saying all drug or gambolling addicts are poor. However, they may end up poor if it isn’t kept in check. When a person goes from being a collector to a hoarder, It is often due to some type of mental breakdown.

I collect. My husband hoards. It takes an act of God to get him to let go of something.

Are you saying that your husband’s mentality is impacted by anxiety, depression, or some other mental concern?

I have no idea.

My name is ibstubro, and I’m a hoarder.

IBSTUBRO!!!

Sorry, I missed the opening.
I was out running my yard sale/thrift store/antique shop circuit.

No, I was doing Cheers. “Norm!”....

I considered that possibility, @Dutchess_III, but Cheers usually had patrons. lol

I’m seriously considering hiring a dumpster to park in front of the house, then challenging myself to fill it in a week.

I’ve also considered asking the thrift store to leave a cardboard combo (huge empty box) in the front drive for me to fill with clothes and household goods before the next rain.

If my husband would let me at the garage, and the upstairs bathroom where he has a bunch of useless furniture stored, I’d fill it in an hour!

Well, I’m talking about small items. All that crap from the back of the pantry and garage corners for the dump.
It could be a challenge to fill.