Does she have a right to be mad at me?

Umm…why would anybody be denied the right to be angry? That’s just ridiculous. Anyways, if she hasn’t responded and you think she’s mad, don’t see her as a friend any more. That’s all you should get out of this situation. She has every “right” to be mad at you. You just might not think it’s right for her to be mad at you, but it’s worthless to worry about this.
You are being passive agressive too, by the way. Perhaps she has the “right” to feel mad at you, then.

I don’t see how I’m being passive aggressive, but okay…

Holy wall of text Batman!

Paragraphs are your friend; this girl is not (cf. reasons). Yes she has the right to be mad, and yes you have the right to not give a shit.

Sounds to me like she was wanting to use you. Manipulation mainly for her benefit, not yours. Play it cool with her but stick to what you want, what you believe in doing. Don’t play her game!!!

The simple answer to the question is that she has no justification for being angry. You have good reasons for wanting to be on campus, even apart from not wanting particularly to live with your friend for another year. Since you have already explained your position to your friend, I do not know what else there is to do.

Feelings are neither right or wrong. They just are. And someone feels what they feel regardless of whether it’s justified by a particular set of circumstances.

The real question you’re asking is whether or not she has the right to manipulate you into doing what she wants you to do.

No. She doesn’t have that right but it’s up to you to establish clear boundaries with her and stick to them.

It sounds like you have carefully considered your living options and made what is the best decision for you. You’ve told her it isn’t personal (which is not strictly true, but the totally blunt truth would be more hurtful and that’s not really necessary)

So, if she refuses to accept this reality and wants to have a little temper tantrum about it by not speaking to you, THAT IS HER PROBLEM.

You are under no obligation to make it your problem. If she continues this type of behavior toward you, feel free to ignore it.

You gave her your decision and a reasoned explanation. If she keeps refusing to accept that and keeps raising the subject repeatedly, tell her to knock it off. You’ve already made your decision. All you have to do is stick to it.

If she chooses to end the friendship because of this, then shes being quite immature and it’s her loss, not yours. Who needs a friend who can’t take a polite “no” for an answer and keeps trying to manipulate you to do her bidding? With “friends” like that, who needs enemies?

Just ignore her little tantrum and continue to treat her politely. If she gets too over the top to bear, cut her loose.

(And please do a little extra research on how to properly use paragraphs in your writing. You’ll be so glad you did; and so will all the profs. who have to read it)

:D

I’m assuming you have a large monetary and temporal investment in the school.

Your education is, correctly, your top priority, not pleasing someone who is probably two months away from dropping out and wants to bring a crowd of people with her.

Disregard her feelings. They are not important. There’s no good reason for you to inconvenience yourself for her sake.

It’s not clear why she went ahead and made the arrangements for you three to live together when you told her ahead of time you were not on board with that plan. If I were you and you explained it to her and she’s mad, I’d let it go. It’s her problem not yours.

Well, living off campus usually means more party and less study. A few years or months of good times is not really worth a life-time of crappy jobs and low pay. “friends” who make decisions for you are not your “friends” I would stay away from this person.

Good on you for not giving in to the temptation of living off campus. Lots of kids do it because they find campus rules restrictive and this is the first tast of “freedom” fo many. She technically has the “right” to feel anything she damn well chooses but given your scenario she has no actual cause. You were correct in your judgement and would have most likely been subject to many scenes had you gone and moved in with her, and as you foresaw, she would have either made you late of completely missed classes, and it would have been too late to make other arrangements once the year started. No one needs that kind of stress. One class means she probably isn’t taking her academics seriously, and the fact that she insists on roommates means she needs financial help in keeping up her playtime while you work. Bad ju-ju all around.

You had a decision to make and you made it. From your description I’d say it was the right one. You can’t please everyone. In this case, if you gave in, it could drastically affect your education.

I think she’s being immature about it, but if she’s angry, she’s angry. There is no right or wrong about it.

If she is the kind of person that gets mad because you are exercising your right to make your own choices, well, she’s not much of a friend, Don’t chase her around and keep over explaining your reasons for your wants and needs and choices. She sounds immature and is holding you hostage with her emotional manipulation. Let her go and do the broken record routine ” This is the right choice for me, I’m sorry if that upsets you.”

Pick a one line, short response and stuck to it. The girl sounds really immature. True friends respect your choices and support what’s best for you.
She has the right to be mad if she wants to, although it is obvious she is just being self centered, but you have the right to do whatever works best for you.

Besides, from the sound of, it she probably won’t even be around next year. I’ll be surprised if she makes it through one semester.

She may be feeling angry, but feelings are just feelings, they’re neither right or wrong. I think the question you really want to ask is, “Am I in the wrong by not wanting to live with her and under the arrangement she set up?”
The answer to that question is “No.” You get to make your own choices.
She wants to control your choices and you have every right to set boundaries. If she can’t respect that then that’s on her. Understand that enforcing boundaries can sometimes end or change friendships.

She has the right to her feelings, just as you have the right to yours.

You can’t control how other people react to things you take a stand on, but it sounds like you thought out your opinion and want to stick with it so you need to just shrug and move on. She may come around after a while, and she may not.

I can easily put myself in her position. Off campus housing will allow more freedom and entertainment so I don’t think why anyone would think it’s such a bad idea especially if it’s affordable and has more comfortable rooms. If you need a ride you can always take public transportation. And since she herself is the one who offer you free ride whenever you need it you can explain that this is the result of her own action, nobody forces her to do this, and she won’t blame you (even though I doubt that she won’t always have the time to pick and deliver you at all times). She has no right to be angry despite her offer is plausible.

At the end of the day, it’s your right who you want to live with. Nobody can forces you to do something. Sometimes, not splitting rent and live on your own is the best thing to do. Imagine all the freedom and not having to deal with annoying roommates and all the problems they bring with them.

“I told her not to take it personally, and I feel like my reasoning is legit, but she never texted me back. Plus I’m not going to lie (I didn’t tell her this), but I’ve lived with her for the past two years and I really don’t want to for a third. Reasons. So does she have a right to be mad at me?”

Maybe deep down she knows that you are not telling her the whole truth?
1. That she tried to manipulate you and probably others into accepting her terms?
( hense no respect for others as well as for you)
2.You have already said no. ( again no respect for you and she will continue to harp until you and others give in to her demands..don’t)
3. You have other plans and stick to it.
4. Time to be an independant person that you are trying to be.
5. Don’t get emotional or angry with her..state calmly ‘NO its not for me”.( say this only once and if she does not accept it..then walk away from her from now on),
In life when someone gets angry ( emotional) usually it means that they now know that they are losing the grip that they once had on you.
Good for you for sticking to your own plans.