What an addict SAYS and what an addict actually DOES are usually two very different things.
Unless the therapist is with her 24/7 there really is no way that he has any factual knowledge of how much or how little your Mom is drinking. He basically has to rely upon whatever she tells him.
DTs is present only in the advanced stages of alcoholism (in addition to blackouts). If someones disease has advanced to that level, the very best place for them is in an inpatient situation where trained mefical people can guide the process.
As a matter of fact, there are some rehab facilities which place someone this bad in a hospital for several days to detox. This is done for safety reasons.
The primary reason that the therapist is advising your mom not to stop drinking cold turkey is because he is responsible enough to avoid having a dead patient. I seriously doubt that he is under the illusion that your mom is gradually weaning herself off alcohol and will finally succeed in sobriety all by herself and seeing him a mere once a month. That is unrealistic beyond description.
And I’d be flat out amazed if he never tried to convince your mom to go to inpatient rehab. He has to know that he is dealing with a severe end stage alcoholic (if he is competent in his profession).
It would be hugely irresponsible for him to never try to convince her to consider an inpatient rehab program.
But, obviously your mother is leaving out that part.
Instead of being confused by what your mother is telling you, you should follow your gut instinct. The plain blunt truth is that there is no such thing as a severe alcoholic who is transparent and honest.
Please please get yourself to some Al-anon (or teen version) meetings). You really really need to surround yourself with others who have dealt with an alcoholic loved one, especially those who are a little further along the road (experience-wise). There is a lot of wisdom there.
There are several of us here on Fluthet who have dealt with addiction/alcoholism but writing on the internet only goes so far. What you really really need are folks in your location who are literally a phone call away.
People at these meetings are usually very quick to give out their phone number and are sincerely desirous to help. Of course we at Fluther will still be here to listen and give you caring advice but we are aware of the limitations of the Internet.
I’m sure that my blunt statement that there are no honest alcoholics may sound pretty cynical but many people here on Fluthet who are now sober and in recovery will tell you that while they were actively alcoholic, honesty went out the window a long time ago. And if you’re also hearing the same truth from an entire room full of people it enables you to get a solid perspective on how to best help your mom.
Don’t stop your efforts along with your father and others who love her to do a planned intervention and having an inpatient rehab situation ready to go.
You cannot rely on your mother to provide the slightest bit of accuracy about how much/how often she is currently drinking. She has spent a lifetime in denial and minimizing her drinking. Don’t expect that to change the slightest bit until she gets detoxed and makes a firm commitment to sobriety.
Lifetime habits don’t just change overnight.
Please find a local meeting and start attending regularly asap. And if that first one doesn’t feel that comfortable, keep trying others until you find the right one for you.
Dealing with your mothers severe alcoholism is a heavy burden for you to deal with at this young age. But you don’t have to shoulder this burden alone. You need all the help you can get. Please don’t hesitate to ask for it.