Is this person being condescending?

Yes. As I said on the other thread, this is your livelihood. This is your work. Her tone is patronising.

However, I do agree she shouldn’t have to research what your work is worth. Tell her how much you want for the work, and don’t negotiate. If you feel your price is fair, and your work is quality work, that’s what she needs to pay. You’re letting her control the situation and own you. Take control.

Send her a quotation in writing that explains how much it will cost her, when it will be delivered and what that price will and will not include. Be professional. When you contract work to someone, do they let you set the price? Do they act as though you are doing them a favour by letting them do work for you? Own your price. Own your work. Own your professionalism.

She hasn’t paid for the last work. You won’t do any further work until that debt is cleared. It’s June. I don’t care if it’s $10 or $1000. She owes you money. She’s treating you like crap. Don’t accept it.

I explored my actual feelings about this woman for the first time while I was writing that all out. I am beginning to see how one-sided our relationship has been. I suppose I knew this already, but haven’t said it aloud until now.

I decided to tell her that I was ready to just cut ties here. I asked her not to worry about the work I did for her in April, and told her not to expect any more correspondence from me.

I feel pretty good about this decision. I was not interested in working on this project for her anyway, nor did I have much interest in previous projects. I do not think I will miss this relationship.

See it as a learning curve. Perhaps invest some time in producing some documents you can send out that state exactly what your work costs, what each price includes and what deadlines are acceptable. Work out terms and conditions that are acceptable to you. Then when you get a request for work, you can send that/those documents out. Include your payment terms. If someone doesn’t pay, you don’t write. Clients who don’t pay are not paying your bills.

Glad you feel better about the whole situation.

Whether she’s patronizing, condescending, manipulative – whatever – is immaterial if you don’t play her game and negotiate with her. And why should you?

You’ve already stated that you don’t particularly enjoy doing the work for her. She’s trying to draw you into a negotiation that you don’t want – and which can hardly work to your benefit, because her only purpose in opening a negotiation is to beat your price back down. On work that you’re not particularly thrilled to do in the first place.

So why not ask her if this is how she does all of her shopping. Does she negotiate with fuel stations for the price of gasoline? Does she bring her groceries to the counter at the supermarket and dicker over the price of beans? Does she attempt to haggle with the USPS over the price of postage?

Tell her, if you need to tell her anything at all, that you’ve set a price, and the only purpose of future negotiation – since it is wasting more of your time – is to help you set the price for future work even higher to begin with, in order to cover your costs of negotiation. And then do that.

I’m reminded, as I often am in such cases, of an incident from my distant past that a co-worker told me about years ago. We worked in field construction, and had to follow travel and living expense policies that were outlined in great detail in a company business manual, and submit regular expense reports, backed up by receipts, of course, to support all of our claims for compensation. One time, because he had been traveling for much longer than he had expected to on one trip away from home, he submitted a hotel laundry charge – receipted – to handle a mid-week laundering that was necessary because of his extended trip. The home office accountant held up his expense reimbursement because the laundry charge was not specifically authorized by the business manual. My colleague wrote a detailed explanation of why the charge was necessary because of the circumstances of his travel, quoted the sections of the business manual that he believed supported his claim of necessity – and copied the vice president of the division, the general manager of the division, and a corporate vice president, as well … in support of what was then around a $15 laundry charge. In it, he pointedly mentioned that “the Business Manual does not explain how often I should wash my underwear. Kindly include this instruction in the next revision of the policy.” The expense was approved without further comment, and no one said anything about his copying so many executives about a piddly-ass charge and over-the-top explanation. On his next trip out of town, he had the hotel do his laundry every god-damned night, receipted everything, charged the company something like $50 in laundry charges – clearly excessive, but perfectly documented – and no one said a peep about it, as the expense report was speedily approved and paid.

This is how she replied to my request. I’m putting the whole thing here. I think her reaction validates my feelings.

“Sara

I accept your apology and thanks for everything. I am not, however, going to apologize for anything I have done or said. I asked you on all the last assignments what you wanted? One-sided or just a simple lack of negotiation skills on your behalf?

You should’ve just said Thursday or last night as you did with my communication audit a few months back that “I would have to further understand more about this before I agree.” I think you got into this, realizing it was too difficult and that you didn’t have a leadership dilemma to speak about and threw in the towel. Part of me is glad you did as I was disgusted with the way in which you did business. May I kindly remind you that you texted me back a few weeks ago stating you wouldn’t be back in town or available to look at anything until you were back in the 9th? You should’ve just said “no” or brought your pay issue forward then. You inititated 8.50 an hour a back in December, not me.

Whatever, we have never really met or had a relationship Sara as you always wanted to email or text. I talked on the phone with you once, offered to buy you books, offered to meet you in person, etc. Try giving someone a call and stating your case and personal dilemma. Email exchange and text doesn’t equal fruitful business.

Honestly, I can afford any dollar amount you really wanted. It was the way in which you approached me. I took it for inexperience in negotiation. I was pissed off today as well.

Perhaps you set me up since Thursday to leave me high and dry on purpose tonight with the paper due tomorrow to show me?Well, you have been vindicated certainly here haven’t you.

A lesson learned by us both. A name of the game when you do business inititated off of craigs list.

Best of luck to you as well.”

Notice how she has no actual complaints about anything I’ve done.

I think I will ask her to pay me back the money she owes me, after all.

The short answer. You tell her the rate. Get paid what you are worth.

If she doesn’t want to research the market, that’s her problem. She will pay what you want. Make sure she pays you the past job before you start the new one though.

She was condescending, trying to be nice about it with the smiley face.

Your rate is already low and therefore, not negotiable.

If I were you, I’d not let her get away with stiffing you for the previous project. Why not pursue the money? You have nothing to lose.

You have already told her not to worry about the money from April and that you would not contact her again. I think you should stick with that and not contact her again.

@chyna I really wanted to take the high road but now I’m not sure. I have more leveraging power than she does, and she knows this. I am tempted to use it.

If she wants you for this job, (which she may after she researches what it will cost her if she goes elsewhere, it sounds like), then let her pay you for the previous job and maybe get her to pay up front for this job, too, since she sounds slippery.

If not, then fuck it, pursue the previous and she can go fuck herself.

@jca I told her in my last email to her (the one that got the rage response I posted above) that I was unwilling to continue working with her and that she shouldn’t expect to hear from me again.

I was a godsend to this woman. She was looking for someone to write her final paper for her Masters-level business communications class on Craigslist. She was going to fail the class, and it was going to ruin her GPA, and she was going to have to repeat the class, and it was going to delay her graduation date.

I came swooping down from the heavens to save her. I got her an A on the paper and an A in the class. And I did it for a fucking pittance. Then I did other work for her that also got A’s. Also for a pittance.

Wait a minute … until now I thought we had been discussing some kind of business as in “work for some outfit that had something to build, or a proposal to make for a project or a paper on research findings” or some other kind of production-based writing. Hell, even a grant proposal, perhaps, for a nonprofit organization.

I had no idea that you had been hired to front or pose as someone else’s brain to qualify that person for unearned educational credits. Maybe I’m hopelessly naïve – after all, I know that this is done from time to time (it’s why we have the rule on not doing people’s homework for them on Fluther, after all) – and I’m not necessarily judging you for doing it in the first place (we’ve probably all done some things that we wish we hadn’t had to in order to buy the groceries from week to week; we’re not superheroes, after all) – but what the actual fuck, here?

The woman hired you to fake her lack of educational credentials, after all. Apparently, she didn’t even mind letting you know that. And now she’s being snippy about your price?

Is she, as well as being a cheat in her field, actually so stupid as to not realize that you have an almost literal power of life and death over her right now? Is she so out of touch with reality?

My knee-jerk reaction is you should ruin her. Literally, go to her educational institution and share this with them.

My thoughtful, responsible and more reasoned reaction is you should absolutely do that. It’s people such as this who give “education” (and management of all kinds) the awful reputations that they now “enjoy”. People such as this – stupid on top of being dishonest (after all, isn’t one of those traits bad enough?) – should not be rewarded with higher degrees in education, which will almost certainly lead, eventually, someday, to even higher degrees and “qualifications”, followed by appointment to government or management positions over those of us who actually have some talent and ability and integrity, but simply choose to not attempt to achieve dominion over others?

I would literally like to see that woman fry. And I know exactly what the word “literally” means.

I know where she goes to school. She’s a human resources manager at a big company. She’s in her 40’s with an established career.

For the moment I’m still taking the high road but I’ve definitely got that “devil on one shoulder, angel on the other” thing that they have in cartoons going on right now.

@trolltoll Given that you are a plagiarist for profit, I really wish you would stop using the phrase “high road” to describe your actions. There is no nobility whatsoever in what you are doing.

It’s the angel telling you to burn her. She should not occupy her current position based upon fraudulent “qualifications”. A person this stupid and corrupt should not have the kind of power that she does.

I can forgive people being stupid; I’m not always the sharpest pencil in the box, and I extend the forbearance that I have been shown from time to time to learn better – to learn at all, sometimes – and to improve. I’ve been grateful for that, and I pay it forward. I tolerate stupidity to a point, and try to correct it sometimes (and sometimes more gently than others).

I can also forgive a certain lack of integrity and honesty. By the same token as my last paragraph, I’m not a saint. I have lied in my life (I can’t think of any lies that I’m currently relying on to buttress my position in life, but I’ve done it, I admit) and I have even taken things that aren’t mine. So I do not suggest that she should have a hand cut off, any more than I would recommend that as my own punishment. (Obviously, then, I also do not suggest capital punishment in lieu of corporal.)

But stupid and dishonest and now cheap, on top of it all, as well as blandly oblivious to her collection of crimes, and her apparent insistence on getting a cut-rate Master’s Degree so that her next job can be … what? … a member of a company’s or nonprofit’s Board of Directors? She should not be there. It’s a matter of fostering civilization – or festering civilization. Foster it.

Oh my. I think I may have just found her professor.

@dappled_leaves hey, fuck off if you have nothing to contribute except to insult me for my chosen way of earning money.

@dappled_leaves is right. I’ll fuck off, too.

@CWOTUS don’t. I’m enjoying your input.

She lives two hours away from me and seems kind of crazy. I’m just going to let this go.

and @dappled_leaves actually, she’s a plagiarist. I just write for money.

@trolltoll It’s academic dishonesty. It’s unethical. Yes, she is a plagiarist, but you know that she is, and you are accepting payment to help her do it. You are more than complicit in her plagiarism; you are participating in it. Does it make you feel better to mince words? It shouldn’t.

@dappled_leaves Do not condescend to me or attempt to shame me for how I choose to earn money. Does it make you feel better to look down on me? It shouldn’t.

I am currently unable to find traditional employment because of my mental illness. In writing papers for money I have found one of the only jobs that makes good use of my skills and also lets me work from home. It’s one of the only things I can do, and it has been a lifesaver for me. Before I found out this was a thing, I was going crazy from sitting alone at home all the time.

I don’t give a shit what people do with my writing. I just want to write and get paid for it. I’ve never plagiarized, so don’t call me words you don’t know the meaning of.

You are helping her cheat. I’m not supportive of that at all. It’s wrong. It’s serious academic misconduct. You can see it as us shaming you, but the work she presents as her own is really yours and you are condoning and accepting payment for that. Given how many students I work with who struggle to juggle family, work, lack of money and health problems to get a degree, I am disgusted by such cheating. There’s no excuse or justification for it. Yes, you want money, but helping her cheat is unethical.

I thought we were talking about a report for a business person or something like that. Not you writing academic content she submits as assessment in a degree program.

Mental illness or not, cheating is cheating. Your mental illness does not justify helping this person cheat.

@dappled_leaves @Earthbound_Misfit if you disagree with my choice of job, and you think it’s unethical, that’s fine. I don’t care. I didn’t ask your opinion, and I don’t need to justify myself to you. My question was about something else entirely.

You’re asking a question in a public forum. You didn’t give us all the information. Now I have more information, I’ll give you my opinion on the work you’re doing. And I don’t much care whether you like it or not either.

@Earthbound_Misfit if you can suggest an alternative to academic writing, I’m all ears. This is the only thing that has been keeping me sane for the last year and I’m reluctant to let go of it.

I would honestly much rather do something that’s reputable. I’m tired of being afraid of telling people what I do. But I have yet to find any other line of work that pays well, accommodates my specific needs, and actually lets me use my brain. That is more important to me than the fact that sometimes my writing is used to cheat. I don’t see it as my responsibility to prevent others from cheating, and I’ve never cheated myself.

@trolltoll, there are other people here who earn their living as writers. Why don’t you ask a question about where to find freelance work as a writer.