When was the last time your SO stuck up for you?
As some of you may remember, I went to put some shelves into a closet, but it turned into a whole new pantry a while back. Many of you gave advice,, (You know who you are!) and it was all SO helpful. Finished!
We had appraisers come in not long ago. He had appraised this house back in 1998, before I moved in. He was about my husband’s age, 60 or so.
He had the floor plan from 1998, asked what had been changed. Among other things I showed him the pantry, which had not been there before.
He said, “Your husband did a nice job!”
I said, “I did it.”
He laughed a little and said, “You mean you helped.”
I said, “No. I built them myself.”
He said, chuckling, “So, you know to work a saw and a drill? You know how to read a measuring tape? chuckle.”
My hackles went up but hell. I’ve spent 50 years listening to disparaging, insulting and assumptive comments based on the fact that I’m a woman, so I just said, “Yes. I do.”
Well, my husband got a little testy and said, with an edge to his voice, “She knows how to run every power tool there is, like a pro.”
The appraiser kind of chuckled again, then saw my husband’s face and got back to business.
Later I said, “So you caught that ‘let’s humor the silly girl’ tone, did you?”
He said, “Yeah, I did. Pissed me off!”
I just grinned. It’s good to have someone in your corner.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
9 Answers
Actually, I thought of this q because I’m digging out the little circular saw, getting ready to cut an old (probably antique) 5 panel interior door in half, to make a half door to the stairway so we can lose the baby gate. Don’t know what I’m going to end up getting into. It’s never as cut and dried as you think it should be.
Your husband makes me smile, I really like his response.
Not been in a situation where he would need to have my back, but he would definitely say something like your husband did.
My wife has always had my back been in my corner and visa versa. For some reason that is hard to explain our boys always listened to me and never back talked to me. But there has been a half dozen times where they are going back and forth with their mom and insulting words come out. I am in their face in an instant and make them apologize to their mother and speak to her with the respect she deserves as their mother.
But she really doesn’t need me to back her up on her up as she is the smartest woman I know and have seen her chew up and spit out many a person who thought she was just another clueless mom. But I know she is a lady and much rather have her man step up and take care of the bullshit.
The thing about it is, he was raised pro-women’s lib. He was just young enough, in his late teens, to make some adjustments, but that “men are smarter than women” is hard for men of his generation to shake. He’s been guilty of making dismissive assumptions about me in the past…but that didn’t last long, really. He takes what I say, or suggest, seriously now.
With that background, I was really pleased that he stepped up. He could have just laughed with “the guys,” condescendingly, at my expense. But, then again..he wouldn’t have lasted the night if he had! LOL! I was tickled. He was genuinely outraged.
Good to be unified. Good for you both.
I like your wife, @Cruiser!
I once yelled at my Mom, and my dad stepped in to chastise me. I was so very, very angry, because she was SO WRONG and SO UNFAIR about what she was accusing me of, I had every reason to fight back. My Dad stepping in, telling me I needed to respect my mother, really hurt me because I WAS right and she WAS wrong. I don’t remember the argument, but to this day, I know she was wrong. She often accused me of of doing (or even thinking) things that I hadn’t done or hadn’t thought of and she’d yell at me.
I used to have to step in to correct my kids because my ex used to argue with them like he was their own age. I hoped my stepping in would make him step back and look at his behavior, but he never did.
@Dutchess_III I have to also stick up for the boys and myself for that matter. My wife is home a large part of the day and has a tendency to ambush anyone of us something the minute we walk in the door. It’s like here catch this bowl of hot burning coals and be careful not to spill them. And now and then she will push to get something done. I hear the boys protest and she pushes harder and I have to step in and remind her….he/I just got home from work or school and whatever it is she expects done can wait till later.
Yes there are those times when she is wrong and I still step in when the boys are being disrespectful because in my house it is not a matter of who is right, it is how you speak to your parents and argue your point. Also, no does not always mean no IF they can present valid reasons why I should say yes. And they more often than not do get a yes because I raised them to be smart and respectful and not snotty or spoiled. My greatest achievement as a parent.
All the time. We each cover the other’s back. Our running joke is that I’ll say, “Is there anyone I need to kill today?”, and she’ll say, “Nope, I took them out.”
Answer this question 
Composing members:
0
