(NSFW) How did you react, or how do you think you might react when/if your child told you they were LGBT?

I imagine I would be supportive and accepting and encouraging. My kids have known I have always been open minded about orientation, that I have known a lot of LGBT people, and been vocally supportive of equal rights.

Good on you and your husband for being demonstratively supportive.

<——- Need I say more? ;-)

I don’t think I would applaud their sexual identity which simply is what it is but I would be pleased that they felt they could confide in me. If they were only 12 I wouldn’t take the announcement too seriously.

She’s wise beyond her years, @flutherother, and we have a few family members who knew their identity at a young age. It’s something to take seriously.

My niece will be 13 this November and she just said about three days ago that she thinks she might be bi. We told her that we were glad she felt comfortable enough to tell us and that anything along those lines was always open for discussion should she want to talk about anything more in depth. She acknowledged that she’s not completely sure at this point, but she knows this is an extremely tolerant household – and I think she just wanted to make sure, just in case her feelings for the same sex do become more powerful. She needed a little reassurance and we were more than happy to give it.

I’d be completely supportive and probably have a similar reaction to you. I am a young teenager and i’m starting to to think I might be a little bit gay.
I dont know how my parents would react. My mum and my brother are slightly homophobic, my mum isnt really hateful but she isnt comfortable with it.
I’m glad I’ve been taught, mainly through the internet, that everyone should be ewual and that love is love, no matter what.

All females are bisexual…Nothing out of the ordinary….

Your and Jon’s reaction was perfect. Supportive without a big fuss.

I would never express it to my kid, but at that age I too wouldn’t be too surprised if she had a change of heart later. I recently read an article written by the mom of a ten year old girl who came out as pan at pride. But in the article the girl even said she hadn’t begun feeling sexual attraction yet. So like….how can you claim to know who you’re sexually attracted to? I feel like at that age kids might be basing it on logic/morals (e.g. why should I discriminate based on gender identity?) when really this stuff is not something we choose using logic.

What’s so great about this though is it’s showing that kids of this generation aren’t all assuming straight as the default until proven otherwise. This will mean great things for gay kids of the future.

The fact of it wouldn’t faze me. Any concerns I might have would be directly related to the potential of someone harming them, or, if they are trans and choose surgical alteration, the obvious medical risks.
I want my children to be comfortable being who they ate, whoever that is.

Except serial killers. I don’t want them to be serial killers.~

My child is who they are. If they are safe and happy and secure in who they are I am pleased as punch.

My great niece told us she was gay when she was a very young teenager. We (my sibs and I) told her that was fine, and we loved her no matter what.

To any and all who question the understanding of children, youth, and adolescents about their sexuality, I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that I knew I was gay when I was 9. It was well before I really knew what sex was, and I did not have a word for it, but it was real.

Giving voice to our sexuality is enormous, even in 2016 and even to enlightened parents and family and friends. Do not underestimate the importance of this announcement.

I have a daughter who has had girlfriends and boyfriends. When she came out to her gay father and bi mother, it was still an important occasion. We are happy for her and supportive, but it is still a big deal.

I will state categorically here that I will not tolerate any questions of my assertion above that I knew I was gay at 9. I was the one experiencing what was going on inside my skin. Absolutely all my gay friends had very similar experiences. Those who question me are not worth my time to talk to. I’ve talked enough to people who dismiss my Truth. I dismiss them.

@hawaii_jake One of my guy friends absolutely knew he was gay at age 11. So I have no doubts that you knew at age 9.

Our 16-year-old originally came out as bi when she was in 8th grade, during a speech to the student body. We were supportive of her then as we are now. A few months ago, while waiting for an after-school activity, she called my wife and told her she felt more male than female, and wanted to be addressed by the male counterpart of her birth name. That prompted me to post this question, which brought some very helpful and supportive responses.

12 years seems to be the age of discovery in this society. I also think societal values and mores are changing to encourage and accept these types of sexual identification. (She’s recently backed off some on the male identity, and hasn’t spoken much about it.)

It is most important to be lovingly supportive, and from what I’ve seen from your posts, and Jon’s, I believe the two of you will be there for her if and when she needs you.

A resource that I was turned on to by our fellow jellies is PFLAG.

I think you handled her announcement perfectly. I’m happy she feels safe enough to be open with you about how she’s feeling. When my children were young, I’d dropped into the conversation that I’d always be fine with whoever they were.

Well being gay myself obviously I’m not going to have a problem with it (if I was to adopt children).

Lovely thought, @NerdyKeith, but unfortunately not a given for every gay parent. I now a gay couple who was appalled at the thought that there son was gay. Not from any hatred of gays, but because they had both been subjected to severe abuse because of it. The thought of their child experiencing such things had them begging him to keep it hidden. I can’t blame them, but it made it very difficult for their son. It took a lot of work to sort it out. :-(

I just noticed my unfortunate typo in my first post. I want them to be comfortable with who they are, not who they “ate”. Ugh.

@canidmajor I can certainly understand where you are coming from with that and you make a very compelling point.

However as a humanist I do feel compelled to argue that in order to be on the right side of history we all must be the change. Cultural change can only occur by changeling society. But at the same time, that is easier said than done. And I empathise with LGBT parents who are finding it difficult to be respected as equals.

I would be relieved if my daughter were gay. Not only are my wife and I supportive and open minded (I performed the marriage ceremony for my niece and he wife), but no worries about unwanted pregnancy — BONUS

Sadly, she is pretty sure she is heterosexual.

Seriously, I only care for her happiness and well being. Everything else is window dressing.

Also, @jonsblond: You guys are AMAZING !!

@NerdyKeith, that was less an argument than an anecdote. The “right side of history” is, of course something we should all embrace, it’s a little more difficult when you fear for your child’s well being, and even their life. Not being gay, and not having experience with abuse because of it, I may be more open than my friends, there are other things that I may not be so right-minded about.

And apparently I missed a whole bunch of other typos, sorry guys!

@Hawaii_Jake I believe you. I totally think people, even that young, can know themselves that well. For some others, it takes a bit longer, but it’s definitely a highly individualistic thing. My niece is the one who said she wasn’t entirely sure, and we’d never tell her she was wrong or unsure because of her age. When it comes to sexuality, the person declaring it is the one who gets all of the control over it – even if they’re 5.

@canidmajor I see, no problem. Well said btw.

I don’t have any children yet, but I know for sure that I’d be 100% supportive. I know so many wonderful people who never got the love and support they needed from their family, like I also know how terrible it felt to be treated like some sort of a freak when I was younger. So yup, I’d definitely be there to tell them they’re the coolest :)

@jonsblond Great parenting, by the way!

I’d have to ask “Why do you ask me?”

I have a neice that is now married to her wife it does not change my feelings for her in any way! I’m certain that if my children are the same I will love them just like before.. In my opinion we do not have the right to judge others decisions whether we agree or not is a moot point. Our chidren are still people and need to find their own path!! I think how you and your husband handled it was awesome.. Good job mom!!

Thank you, @mist78 and welcome to Fluther. :)