My girlfriend has no energy and severely depressed and is probably mentally ill -- how do I get her to a doctor or persuade her to take her meds?

Misery loves company. It sounds (with all due respect, and empathy ) like you enable her. In a way. Not saying you should abandon her. But it’s time for a change of tactics, unless you are OK with the status quo. Which, clearly you aren’t.
Safe play (little potential for change , either positive , or negative) is to stay the course.
If you care about stopping the downward spiral, and changing your life , or hers, you have to take some risks and challenge her. She will then respond in a good way, or throw you to the curb apathetically , with everything else in her life.
I was in a similar situation. Eventually, I had to come to grips with the reality that I couldn’t help her. No matter what. And so I let her go…..
I think of her every day. Even now, years later. But her problems were beyond my capabilities to help with. The choice became clear. I HAD to move on. No matter how much I loved her….
I sincerely hope you the best of luck. But don’t waste YOUR life , because you can’t save another’s. That’s not right either.

Peace n love.

What meds isn’t she taking?

I think he was talking about pain meds, @filmfann.

I have to agree with @MrGrimm888. It’s time for an ultimatum. Tell her you will refuse to see her until she goes to the doctor.

Yep, you have asked numerous questions about how to “help” this woman. Clearly she has serious mental/emotional problems and it is time you help yourself. You are the one that needs intervention as you are, it seems, extremely codependent on trying to fix someone elses problems. The real question is not how to help her, the real question is WHY are you satisfied with such an unbalanced relationship?

What’s in it for you? Not much that I can see. I say get yourself into some therapy and give her an ultimatum. see a doctor or you’re ditching the situation, for good. Don’t you believe YOU deserve better than to play shrink and nursemaid to a disturbed person?

A needy person cannot MAKE you change your behavior. If you do, you are simply enabling her. To bring about change, you first have to be steadfast in meeting your own needs, and less giving in to hers. Find out if there is such a thing as a visiting mental health professional you can have come to your house.

Two years ago, a roomer in my house went online saying she wanted to commit suicide and one of her online friends called the police. They came to our house and escorted her to a nearby hospital for mental evaluation.

Take care of yourself first and foremost. You can’t fix everyone and it sounds like your girlfriend doesn’t want fixed. I am sure that you love her, but if you have tried over and over and nothing is solved maybe you should remove yourself from the situation. I’m sorry to say that because that is not what you asked, you want to know how to fix her. I think with her mental state an she won’t agree to go to a hospital so maybe her sister can have her committed.

Disclaimer: I have read the OP, but I have not read any answers from other members.

@Yellowdog : I am a mental health professional, but I am not a clinician. I cannot make any diagnoses nor prescribe any medications. Here is what you can do: Tell your girlfriend that you will not accept her self-abuse and that because of her continual self-neglect, you refuse to spend any time with her either in person or on the phone or in any other form of contact, until she gets help for herself. Then you must follow through and not see her, until she gets help.

That was written very bluntly, and I want to add that I’m very sorry you’re experiencing this difficulty. It must be very stressful for you, and it must cause you a great deal of anguish. I understand. Please, understand that your girlfriend has an illness of some kind. Your love for her is good. Your worry about her situation is good. However, she has got to get help. Her illness is making you sick, too.

If it’s at all possible, get help for yourself, too. Get counseling or therapy. I hope you have insurance. If so, look for the customer service number on your insurance card. Call that number, and tell them you want to see a therapist. Do not let them talk you out of it. Demand they help you find a therapist who accepts your insurance. They are required to help you find one. Go see that therapist, and describe the situation you wrote about in your OP. Tell the therapist what’s going on just like you wrote it above.

All the best to you.

@Yellowdog: Two months ago you asked a similar question and you have done so before that, too. I’m going to try to link them. It seems people give you advice time and time again and you don’t take it.

My response to you on this thread was to revisit the advice given to you on past threads. This is becoming like an echo chamber.

http://www.fluther.com/189424/how-can-i-help-my-girlfriend-were-fortyish-who-is-suffering/

The hard truth is that YOU cannot help her. She needs help from a competent trained professional who can evaluate her rationally and is not emotionally involved.

You are too emotionally involved to be of any use to her at all, I hate to say. As long as she has you to cling to and manipulate, she has no reason to change the status quo. Apparently, in her skewed perspective, her needs are being met. Obviously they are not, but thats because her perspective is skewed.

But until you remove yourself from the situation, she really has no motivation to seek mental health help.

I know it sounds difficult and perhaps a bit harsh, but let me ask you just one question. You seem to think that she cannot survive without your help, so how’s that working for you?

Obviously not working for either you or her. She’s not getting one iota better and neither is your situation. How about trying something that at least has a CHANCE of working eventually?

It might not immediately, but neither has this constant go-round of continual over the top neediness and your guilt at not meeting this unending need of hers to have you solve everything for her.

Someone has to break the cycle and it won’t be her. So, it’s up to you. Everyone has already told you what is necessary numerous times in response to each time you’ve asked essentially the same question.

You’re in a rut here and somehow you have to find the strength to break out of it. She won’t so you have to. As long as she has you to cling to, she doesn’t see a need for anyone else.

But you and we know that she needs a mental health professional. She is not PROBABLY mentally ill as you skirted around the issue in your Q. She is mentally ill. There is no probably left here and you know that.

Period. End of sentence. There really is nothing more to say.