Am I being too restricting with my tenant on his visitors?

I think he is pushing it and taking things for granted!!!!! For your peace and happiness, terminate him immediately…

Sounds like you shouldn’t rent out your space.
You clearly respect your space . And are set in your ways. That’s perfectly acceptable .
But when sharing a space, or on any relationship, there has to be compromise. Such is the state of affairs when living with others. Trust me, I have 5 roommates now, and we couldn’t coexist without compromise. Each roommate we have eases the financial burden on us all. More roommates, more problems. But we all have more disposable income if we can have all rooms occupied.
You must decide what is more important. Having more money, and dealing with a unknown person’s idiosyncrasies. Or having less money, but having things the way you like them.

It CANNOT work both ways.

MrGrimm888, I think so too :)

I didn’t get the impression he was your roommate. I got the impression he was your tenant, or that you meant for him to be a tenant, and therefore, the rules are the rules. You said you bought the apartment, which means you own it and he is your tenant. If it’s that it’s your place and he is your tenant, he has to abide by whatever you decide the rules are.

If it is that you are roommates, then yes compromise is inevitable. If you own it, which you said you do, and he rents a room, you’re the boss and he can like it or leave it.

If he was paying half the rent and sharing the whole apartment, then he is your roommate. However, if you are the apartment owner and he is renting a room, you are the boss. People who rent rooms will have some use of the kitchen and of course use of the bathroom but that’s about it. They’re not coming out of the room and joining you in your living space.

To me it sounds like he is pushy. Nobody that I know of who rents from someone else is asking to have movie marathons with ten guests. Nobody that I know of who rents from someone else is asking the landlord to tell them when they are leaving and when they will be home. That makes no sense.

You should have rented it out sn elderly person. Give him a final warning and kindly inform him that he will have to make other living arrangements before winter sets in!

I think you are a control freak. Yes, you are being way overbearing in your treatment of the tenant.

Frankly, you are acting like a prison guard and treating the person like he is an inmate. No outside guests without permission? Really? Are you kidding?

The tenant is normal. You, the owner, are way out of line. I think that you jumped into the rent-a-room business without thinking things through.

Contracts and leases work best when there is mutual respect. There is nothing mutual about this. You are heavy-handed.

Let the guy stay through his lease and then quit being a landlord. You are unreasonable and overbearing.

This situation seems like a bad idea for both parties. It’s natural for the man to want to have relationships in his space that he’s paying for. I suspect he’s starting to resent your rules. It’s understandable that you want your home respected. This living arrangement is just a bad idea in such a small space. You’re better off moving into a smaller apartment with a cheaper mortgage or finding another way to earn what your tenant was paying in rent.

I agree that you shouldn’t be in the landlady business. And you particularly want to avoid male bachelors as tenants.

they proceeded to cook a meal in our house and went back to his room and stayed behind locked doors for 4 hours. The girl only left at 10.30pm…. he said he was more sorry that he couldn’t enjoy that night because we knocked on his door).

Shock. Horror.

An adult had a ladyfriend visit and HOW DARE HE be upset you knocked on his door!

Why the hell are you knocking on his door? Is he behind in rent? Did he not pay for the privilege of having a room to himself?

The door is closed. Leave the man alone or refund him his rent money. You’re not his mother.

Is there anything in your rental agreement saying he doesn’t get kitchen privileges? Is he supposed to live on pizza delivery?

Is anyone else curious as to what the dude is paying to live in a prison?

My impression is the same as @Seek. He is a grown man, he is not renting a hermit’s cell. He is cooking in the room designed for cooking!

I wouldn’t be so hard on her. I don’t think she’s done this sort of thing before, but I’ve seen this dynamic a few times with women attempting to rent out individual rooms in their homes. It always puzzles me when people who are very particular and meticulous about “the nest” decide to take on boarders.

If the rent fee he paid is high enough and cover all the things he has done without causing any financial loses to you then I’ll consider letting him stay for another half year. I suggest tell him as soon as possible that next month he’ll need to bear the utility bill if he keep on using the air conditioner more than the allowed amount.

I understand the sentiment about the kitchen but it seems like you have pointed out in your question that you dislike his girlfriend visiting him in your house. You have told him that kitchen is off limit for him after the incident so I believe that he and his girlfriend have already learned the lesson so I think there’s no harm if his girlfriend visits so long as both of them stay in his room. Also, knocking/checking his room when they’re inside without important reason could considered as rude (who knows if they are having sex).

In the end, it’s your house, your rules. If he doesn’t like the terms you offered then it’s better for you to terminate the rent so other better and responsible tenant could rent your room. If your husband insisted on keeping him in your house then make your husband to be responsible for every damages this tenant might cause in the future.

I understand that it must be frustrating, since you had set out rules from the beginning that he had apparently agreed to, and now he is breaking them. He might even have thought he would be able to abide by the rules, and it sounds like he did for 6 months (unless I’m reading the OP incorrectly). However, I imagine it would be difficult to be living somewhere and not being able to bring anyone you care about to see you or hang with you there. The room (and kitchen/bathroom access) he’s renting may be your room, your kitchen, your bathroom—but you’ve invited someone else to view these parts of your home as their home. It’s natural to want people to visit your home.

The AC issue seems like a matter of discussion. He might simply think his price includes covering AC, when in reality it doesn’t.

Him having his group of friends over really seems like a discussion you and your husband need to have. He asked your husband, and your husband gave him permission. He did nothing wrong there, and from the sound of it, the only indication he had anyone over was a few pieces of popcorn he had missed picking up (no empty popcorn bags or bowls, etc.)

It sounds like this is not an arrangement you are comfortable with, and it’s okay to acknowledge that, but I would caution against blaming it on the tenant—that will create an unpleasant tension between the tenant and you, and likely cause the tenant to resent you (and someone above mentioned). A resentful tenant is less likely to take any rules seriously.

It also sounds like your husband is comfortable with this. Was it a mutual idea, and it’s not turning out the way you thought it would? Or was this your husband’s idea, and the rules are you attempt to minimize something you didn’t want in the first place?

I would talk with your husband about your discomfort. I would inform the tenant at some point that you are not going to be renewing the lease—but do not make it out to be his fault. Explain that you and your husband had thought you would be able to rent out a room, but you really are not comfortable with the arrangement after all. You might even help him look for a new place.

Alternatively, you might try to get to know him as a person. You don’t have to be friends, but getting to know him and establishing an amicable relationship would likely reduce some of the stress. Living in such proximity with a stranger would probably be exhausting. This doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time with him—but maybe establish some rituals. Maybe start by offering to have him join you for dinner once a month. And if you can be comfortable with it, throw him a bone—give him some time that he can have people visit, as well as what you would be comfortable with the him doing with the visitors. Watching a movie seems pretty benign if it’s on a night you wouldn’t be using the living room. Cooking in the kitchen could be benign if you show him what you are not worried about him breaking, and what is more fragile/sentimental/expensive and you would rather not be touched. Giving him adequate ways to do what he wants within the rules can reduce his feeling the need to break them, and establishing an amicable relationship can help remind him to view things your way (rather than seeing you as merely the landlady).

I don’t think that the arrangement is working out. I think your original conditions were a little onerous, but he signed the agreement.

I think it would be better for both parties to end things.

I just re-read the OP. She wants to restrict Air conditioning use to 10 hours a day?

In some climates, that would be illegal, because the landlord has to provide a liveable environment. 14 hours of swelter is not a liveable environment.

The OP didn’t say where (what city) she lives in, but it’s hot everywhere this summer. Restricting AC use is pretty apt to get her a lawsuit or a visit from the zoning department.

I agree with @ZEPHYRA. Having a tenant is doable if you have the right tenant, which it doesn’t sound like you do. Sounds like you rented to a kid. (Seriously, he expected you to remove the living room rug for his party?) You need to let him go and find someone older and more mature, who understand what it means to take care of things and respect other people’s property.

As to the AC, you need to charge him for the extra that he is using. Something else to consider for your next tenant.

@elbanditoroso Unless he has AC separate from the rest of the apartment, they restrict their AC use as well. Nothing wrong with that.

I’ve never heard that it’s a law anywhere that the landlord has to provide free AC. I don’t believe that’s the case in NYC and NYC is a pretty liberal city.

I agree with stanleybmanly. I didn’t get the impression that she was a slum lord, or malicious. She just was trying something new, and turns out she regretted it.
You live, you learn.

@MrGrimm888 – your last sentence—did you mean LIVE or LOVE? Sort of changes the meaning…

Woops. Fixed it. Sorry, I just woke up; )

Oh my God! You do not need to be a landlord. You don’t want this person to live a normal life. Let him out of his lease and NEVER rent a room again. You make the rules up as you go. What does it matter to you if he has a lady friend visit? And you kept knocking on his door? Are you insane? You are not the mother of a teenage boy. Let the poor guy out of his lease.

@chyna – Bravo bravo !!!!

Whether or not we consider the OP’s rules harsh, she did inform the tenant of them ahead of time and she states that the rules are written in the tenancy agreement. ”We have a tenancy agreement, and one of it contains a clause which briefly talks about strictly no overnight stays, and that he needs to inform us about any visitors. ”

It also sounds like the tenant is unnecessarily rude: He told her “yeah I don’t know why there was a carpet in the middle of the living room, right before my movie marathon.” He has also broken a bottle of cordial in the kitchen, which I appreciate him owning up to it (but he ended it off with “that’s because your kitchen is too small”)”

Now it seems he’s no longer interested in the rules that were previously agreed on and signed by him: ”He is asking us to inform him whenever we are going out, and what time we will be home, so that he could bring his girlfriend home (his reason was: I do not want my guest/s to disrupt your quiet enjoyment). However, after much discussion, he revealed that my husband and I have out of the house for a couple of hours on different occasions and he wasn’t happy that we didn’t inform him, and he missed the chance to bring his girlfriend home.”

It sounds like the relationship is doomed for both tenant and renter.

GA @jca.

I’d give it one more go, with a more mature person. Maybe an elderly person who isn’t going to throw parties in your apartment. If it doesn’t work out with them, either, then you’ll know that being a Landlord (in your own home, no less) isn’t your cup of tea.

I totally agree with @Seek

If you are going to rent a room to someone that should come with house privledges like cooking, laundry perhaps and the freedom to have a guest. It sounds like this isn’t a situation that is working for you. Find another way to generate extra income. Maybe become a bird or fish sitter, then all you have to do is set a cage on the table or a fish bowl on the counter.

No fuss, no muss, no need to control someone that is paying you good money to have some semblance of a life.

Some of you guys are really being too hard on her. They obviously have no children of their own, and their own, most recent life experiences as “kids” may have been vastly different from what they are experiencing with their tenant. Maybe they are just floored that he would consider doing and saying the things that he does, because they never would have done such a thing.

It’s just a lesson learned, @csillagfeny. But overall, the consensus, which seems logical, is that if he’s an adult, paying rent, he has adult privileges.

In renting a room for the first time, you are bound to experience a learning curve. This tenant is not a good match for you. Let him go, and next time rent to an elderly person on a pension or social security. They will be much more reliable.

Again, no matter what we think of her rules, the tenant knew about them, agreed to them and signed that he understood and agreed.

I’m with Dutchess. She even phrased the original question in a way that shows potential compassion for this man. Most here are beating a dead horse.

This entire problem is due to the fact that all the conditions of house sharing were not adequately thought through.

House (or apt.) sharing is totally different from renting to someone if you are not also living in that space. TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

For instance, it needs to be specified which utilities are included in the rental price and which ones are not. If there is no practical way to bill separately for electric then you need to figure that into the rental charge. You can’t go retroactively attempting to restrict electrical usage (for AC, for instance) simply because of your own lack of foresight and planning.

Some people are less frugal with utility usage than others. That’s just a fact of life. Resenting him for using more AC than YOU think is proper is ridiculously vindictive.

Most of the problems you are having are because someone else is in YOUR living space and this is uncomfortable for you. That’s it in a nutshell. You need to have a talk with your husband and let him know that no amount of money is worth the aggravation.

If you want to buy a property with an attached small apt to rent out, that’s a different story. But you should not be renting out any part of your personal living space.

For years when I lived in Philly I rented in house shares so I know whereof I speak. But these were usually large large houses from colonial or Victorian eras when living spaces were huge.

Even with all the years of experience I’ve had living in house shares, there is absolutely no way I would ever consider an apt. Share. No way. Not even with my best friend.

You clearly got in over your head in this situation. So, stop resenting the tenant for what’s basically your own lack of foresight and experience. Give him a reasonable amount of time to find a new home and don’t rent to anyone else in your apt again. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Even if you had a senior citizen. Do you think they’d be happy with having their use of AC restricted or not being able to prepare meals in the kitchen? Do you know how much it adds to living expenses to have to eat out all the time?

Enjoy your apt in peace and let other people go their own way somewhere else. I can guarantee that if you make the mistake of renting to another, their imperfections will be aggravating you as well. Your space is too small to make a tenancy situation feasible for you or them. It’s an apt.

Be nice @Buttonstc. I don’t think she was being vindictive. She just wasn’t prepared for the reality. It’s happened to all of us.

^^^^
Yep, and it took me 54 years. haha
I never wanted a house mate when I was 18, let alone in my 50’s. I am so thrilled to have my own space again. Thing is though, that all potential stressors aside, it is inappropriate to knock on a tenents bedroom door when they have a guest and to not allow cooking rights. IF one is going to have a house mate/ tenant in their home, they need to afford them full house privledges IMO, not confine them to their room.

He has cooking rights. She just doesn’t want his guests cooking in the kitchen….which would also put a damper on his relationships.

I think it was more than generous when she let him have “a movie marathon with ten guests” in the living room.

Her husband allowed it without her permission. She wasn’t happy about it.

@Dutchess_III

I was being nice. But resenting a tenant for wanting to be ok in the sweltering summer heat simply because she didn’t factor the increased utility cost into the rent charge IS BEING VINDICTIVE. You are resenting and blaming someone for just doing what’s normal simply because you didn’t plan better financially. The fault is not his. Or do you think he’s running the AC while shivering just to annoy her? People need however much AC they need. It’s as simple as that. Blaming them for it is ridiculous.

And can we just keep one more salient fact in mind. You can call him a tenant all you want but the plain fact is that he is a HOUSEMATE. even on Craigslist, they are listed separately. There is one section for shared living space (whether house or apt.) and another for apt. or home rentals.

The reason being that they are two separate things. Period.

Personally I think that anyone other than college students sharing an apt. is totally nuts. It’s just too small a space.

And I assume we’ve all read the behavioral studies done with mice being forced to live in not enough space? Pretty soon they’re nipping and biting at each other constantly.

With humans they just do it verbally but it’s the exact same principle.

In regards to the AC, she isn’t asking him to do anything she and her husband aren’t willing to do. I don’t see it as having an unreasoning desire for revenge, since it’s the norm for them, and always has been.

I’m sure she agrees at this point that they made a mistake. I’m sure it won’t happen again.

@Dutchess_III

I don’t know where you are coming up with revenge. I said resent. Two different words. Two different concepts. Kindly don’t twist what I’ve said.

You are totally missing the point about the AC. Whether or not she and her husband are willing to restrict their usage to only 10 hrs. per day is totally irrelevant. (and she doesn’t even clearly state that this is what she and her husband do, merely that she somehow thinks this is ideal or normal.)’ But that is clearly arbitrary. People need however much AC they need.

I have mine on 24/7 in the heat of summer. Does that mean it’s running 24/7? Of course not. It turns on and off according to the thermostat so when it gets above a certain temp,it comes on until the room cools down and then shuts itself off again. Obviously on hotter days it turns on more frequently than cooler days.

If someone were going to try to tell me that I could only have it on for ten hours a day, that would be too ridiculous for words. Some days I wouldn’t need it at all while other days I’d need it 24/7 if for nothing else than the dehumidifying effect alone.

That’s why I tried to emphasize the difference between a tenant vs. a roommate. A tenant will be in their own living unit with a dedicated electrical box and account for that space so whatever electric they use, it’s billed to them alone.

There is no feasible way to do that if renting a shared living space. Electric usage has to be included in the rental price by default. You can’t go nagging someone into only requiring as much electricity as you yourself do. Well, I suppose you can if you want to be regarded as ridiculously overbearing but I assume you see what I’m saying.

Some people are more affected by heat than others. That’s just a fact of life. Resenting them for it is just wasting emotional energy. Either charge them enough extra rent to cover it or shut up already. You can’t retroactively change the rules and try to limit their AC usage. If you miscalculated, the sensible thing to do is learn from your mistake and charge a little extra rent to cover it the next time around. Nagging someone to limit their AC to just ten hours per day is beyond ridiculous. That’s why there are comments on this thread about being in prison and such.

You simply cannot try to place unrealistic limitations upon fully grown adults like that without coming off as extremely petty. And rather than telling him that he cannot have a guest cooking with him in the kitchen, just make it clear ahead of time that he’s responsible for any damages regardless of whether it was caused by him or the guest. That makes a whole lot more sense and is perfectly reasonable and easily understood.

She needs to get some perspective here, have a frank talk with hubby (who just doesn’t seem to get it) that the money being saved just isn’t worth the aggravation and give the roommate notice to vacate. Stop blaming it all on him. Part on reasonably friendly terms and be done with it already. And don’t think that another renter will not have their own set of aggravations.

Life is too short. Signing up for extra aggravation just isn’t worth it. Admit this was a mistake, learn from it and bow out gracefully.

@Buttonstc Here you stated that regarding the AC issue she was “BEING VINDICTIVE.” (all caps yours.) That’s what “vindictive” is….vengeful, so I didn’t twist your words. I disagree that she is being vindictive. Unreasonable, perhaps, but I don’t know the clime she lives in. Not all summers in all places are sweltering. In the Pacific North West many people don’t even have AC in their houses or their cars.

I agree that she shot herself in the foot taking in a renter. I think she has learned. She’s young so give her a break.

Honestly, OP, I think some of your rules are ridiculous. Having to ask permission before he has a visitor? No overnight stays and he’s how old? That’s completely over the line. You’re renting out a room to an adult, not a child.

Likewise, I think the tenant also pushes it in certain areas. Maybe his responses are because he god fed up with some of your unrealistic demands, or maybe he’s an inconsiderate jerk. Either way, you didn’t think this through well enough. And to be completely blunt, because of how up in his business you are, he probably wants to know when you won’t be home so he can have sex with his girlfriend in peace without you knocking on his door or wondering when she’s going to leave. If you’re not okay with him leading a normal lifestyle (him having to ask permission to have visitors and having people stay the night), you really should not force him to stay there.

Right @DrasticDreamer, but as @jca has pointed out, the rules were laid out before hand, and he agreed to them. Everybody messed up.
And I don’t think she’s forcing him to stay in any way. Her last line says she’s ready to terminate the tenancy.

@Dutchess_III Right, and that’s why I acknowledged that the tenant pushes it in certain areas. However, the OP needs to be realistic if she’s going to rent the room to anyone. It’s weird and extremely controlling to place some of the demands that she does on another adult. Maybe the OP was really hard up and needed somewhere fairly cheap to stay and it was the only option he had. That doesn’t make it okay to blatantly disregard all rules, but I can definitely understand why he’s breaking some of them.

I wish the OP would come back and answer some questions, like, how old are she and her husband, and how old is the tenant? Her expectations were unreasonable. But….I guess we’re all guilty of that sometimes.

@Dutchess_III – one hopes that she is reading these, even if she isn’t commenting.

Oops – I meant maybe the tenant was hard up, not the OP. I think people might have scared her away because of how vehemently we answered.

You have embarked into misery in my opinion and I cannot understand it. Your documents always rule. However you want the tenancy or occupancy to work (be sure you know the difference and have your documents drawn appropriately) be sure your document (contract) is clear and unambiguous.

That is my advice and is it given strongly.

She’s long gone @MollyMcGuire.

She’s still a member, just has not checked in for two days.

Right. I meant as far as responding any further here. I think @DrasticDreamer is right…we scared her off with the vehemence and rage some displayed, when she was just asking for help.

I’m assuming the woman is an adult. If she can’t handle being told she’s in the wrong without getting pissy and storming off, good riddance.

I’m not here to stroke anyone’s ego.

@Seek says it best.
I would say vehemence yes, but not rage. Unless I missed some rage somewhere. haha
Well…as usual, if one asks a question they need to be prepared for all answers and the ability to self reflect a bit. Two wrongs never make a right but, in this case, placing so many restrictions on an adult tenent is unacceptable IMO.

I agree with @Seek – I think that the OP was expecting all sorts of support and she didn’t get what she wanted.

Well, she did ask for opinions specigically on whether she was “being too restrictive”.

Her Q definitely did get answered with a resounding consensus of YES. It’s not like it was even a close call.

Now, the Q was answered and it’s just too bad if she didn’t like the answer. As the Stones sang:

“You can’t always get what you want….but you get what you need.”

But I’m an optimist at heart. And the last comment she wrote seemed to be in agreement that this just wasn’t working out, so end it already.

Hopefully all the comments here were helpful in convincing DH who (although clueless) apparently wants to stick it out and somehow thinks that the solution lies in limiting his AC to ten hours per day.

Yeah, that should really help a situation that’s already headed downhill :) Perfect solution ~~

Well, I think she’d already come to that conclusion, to get rid of him, before she posted the question.

As for the AC question, that still depends on what climate they live in. Maybe 10 hours a day is more than sufficient where they live.

I think she learned a lesson.

@Buttonstc – I think we should all be look for news stories on the web:

“Tenant murders landlord in heated air conditioning dispute”

or

“Landlord prefers murder to eviction process”

@elbanditoroso Haha, I almost said the same thing. Be on the lookout for headlines of landlord murders tenant. lol

I’ll keep my eye on Judge Judy, guys!

I don’t think my response was in agreement that she was being too restrictive. My response was more like “he agreed to it, it was in writing, so there should have been no misunderstanding.”

And I agree with that, in theory @jca. But, as both sides learned, it really wasn’t reasonable.

@jca

That’s true. Your response was different. But the majority of the rest felt that her demands were treating him more like a child than an adult.

We also don’t know if there was anything in the written contract about who is or isn’t allowed in the kitchen. It appears that his understanding of “kitchen privileges” would naturally include him also allowing his guest in the kitchen. That’s half the fun of a dinner date. Cooking together.

And any reasonable adult woukd know that if a guest of theirs breaks something accidentally, they are still responsible for the damages.

But to say no one else is allowed in is basically treating him as a child not an adult. And then knocking on his door to discuss this rather than waiting until the guest left is also ridiculous.

So, I agree with you that his behavior in not sticking to the letter of the agreement was aggravating but I think his whole thing about asking them to let him know when they would be in or out was an attempt to avoid conflict (and perhaps drop them a clue as to how onerous was their demanding this of him. )

Obviously he didn’t fully realize when he agreed to this how aggravating it would get.

So, I think there was an element of making it up as you go along in this whole thing. Roommate situations can get really tricky, especially when it’s not even a house but a 2 bedroom apt.

I have a lot of experience with houseshares, mostly positive. But EVERYTHING must be discussed upfront. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the terms. Kitchen privileges means exactly what it says. To then say you can never have a guest in there is simply ridiculous. If you’re dealing with your 10 yr. old child, that’s an understandable restriction. But for an adult?

@Dutchess

And restricting utility usage (without a separate monitoring and billing situation) simply cannot be done. You decide which utilities are included in the rental price and that’s it.

The husband thinks that a solution is to nickel and dime the situation further and declare a limitation on the number of hours allowed for AC ? I don’t care where they live. It’s ridiculous. Period. Electricity is either included in the rent or its not.

If you want to get rid of a tenant, that’s a solution but not if you’re wanting to keep him which apparently the husband wants to do. But restricting his electric usage to some arbitrary number of hours will do nothing but make everything worse.

Again, making it up as you go along does not work unless both parties agree.

If he is using the AC it’s pretty clear that where they live is hot enough to warrant it. (Unless you think he’s purposely freezing his balls off simply to piss them off. Come on, get real please.) It’s clear to me that you haven’t done house sharing (at least not lately or post college) As you can see from the wide variation of answers to your own Q about this, people have diverging points of view about how much AC is necessary in their lives. Everybody is different.

They need to evict the guy and never rent to anyone else again as long as they’re in that two bedroom apt.

Hello all, nope I did not disappear. Just turned off notifications for this page…

Thank you all for your comments!

Regarding the AC, we are definitely okay with him using it (otherwise we wouldn’t have given him the remote control). But not turning it off and leaving it running even when he isn’t in the room, has caused the bills to go up.

Just to share a few things too – he doesn’t chip in for the utility bills, which is why we reminded him to be mindful of his usage (which includes turning it off when not in use… no restrictions. Just that his usage has caused the bill to triple for a couple of months… but we did not ask him to pay for it, just asked him to be mindful…)

I have been paying for a cleaning service every week, which includes his room but I do not charge him for it. Small items like laundry detergent included. I agree with all the comments here as you all have your reasons, but I personally do not think I am being restricting.

I’m not fishing for any approvals – I was expecting people to say bad things too. That’s why I am here to ask this question and look for opinions on whether I am too restricting, to have a better light of my actions (before, present and future).

I do not think anyone is total bad egg, he’s definitely a good person. But yeah…

@Dutchess_III My husband and I are both in our 20s, tenant is in his 30s. And I agree with you, both sides have much to learn when it comes to renting a room… definitely left out a lot of details but that’s okay…

For your next tenant agreement, should you attempt that course again, you should consider writing in the utilities as separate from the rent. This is normal in my area (Florida) where AC usage can change the electricity bill many dollars from month to month. For example, the average high temp. this month is 94 degrees. Restricting use of AC, to me, sounds positively barbaric. Perhaps you don’t have our temperatures. But if you’d written he’s to pay a percentage of the utility bill, you’d at least recoup the increase in that fee each month.

Turning his air conditioning off each time he leaves his room is not the answer to your high electric bill. It works twice as hard when you turn it back on to get to the cool temperature it is set on. If left on, it stays cool and there is no over working.

@chyna is correct. Unless he’s leaving for a significant amount of time (like all day to go to work). If he is just leaving for a half hour or an hour and shuts off the AC, it would make no sense.