How much age gap you would be comfortable with in a relationship?
Is 10–12 years fine or too much difference?
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It would totally depend on what the ages are. My husband is 10 years younger than me, but I am in my 40s.
Personally for me anything over 10 years is too much. I don’t think I can relate to someone of that age group. I’m 31 years old and I will date guys from 25–40.
The girl would have to be of legal age.
Whatever age difference the two in question are comfortable with is OK and, of course, up to them. For a man (or a woman, I suppose) seeing a person of a younger age is like drinking from the Fountain of Youth. It is pure joy.
I started a relationship with a woman who is 19 years younger than myself within the past ten years. We used to have a lot of fun with the “When I was starting kindergarten you were…” comparisons. The thing never took off, but it wasn’t the age gap that did it in. She was kind of special that way, though. I certainly still like to look at women who are so much younger than me, but I never see much likelihood of anything getting going there.
When I was much younger I had a brief thing with a couple of women who were considerably older than I was: the first one by about 15 years and the other – and longer-lasting relationship – by about 8 or 9 years. Neither of them were awkward.
The only time it makes me uncomfortable is when the other person is old enough to be their father, or mother. Conversely, one is young enough to be their son or daughter. That kind of creeps me out.
My husband is almost 16 years older than me. We just celebrated our ninth anniversary.
He’ll grow up someday, I’m sure.
Haha.. how old were you when you tied the knot?
It totally depends on how much money she has.
I was 21. We dated for a year and a half, and were friends a year before that.
I’m “sorta dating” a guy who is nine years younger than me; have hung out with guys who are 8 – 15 years younger. For a relationship, I would hypothetically be most comfortable with an age difference of about 8 years up or down but “a good man is hard to find.”
There is a 13 year age gap in my relationship. I have always preferred older men, for numerous reasons.
Age really has never been a conscious factor in my relationships, but when I was young, from about 17 to 40, I was usually attracted to women my age or up to about 20 years older. Ten years older was good. Fully developed women, with experience and smarts. It was more about a combination of their personalities, their knowledge base, their looks and how comfortable they were in their sexuality. There is a certain body type that has always floored me. After fifty, I was attracted to younger women for a time and different body types. Now, it’s all about who they are, how they think, what kind of person they’ve become. Age really doesn’t factor in much anymore.
For me now at age 24 I’d go up to 28 or down to 21. Stages of life are very rapidly changing now and anyone outside of that age range would be harder for me to relate to. When you’re older it’s not such a big deal since life settles down a bit.
As for being comfortable, I wouldn’t look at the age. I would see how I respnded to the person. How did they treat me? Did they make me happy? Etc etc
@cookieman ahhhh yes, the one refreshingly accurate answer is the funny one.
Looking back, I’m convinced that age differences really are meaningless. When I was younger, I made the mistake of actually believing otherwise, but I was constantly getting involved with women older than myself, some of them better than twice my age. And I swear they were all SO good to me, a straight up idiot. Every one of them deserved better. To this day, I still can’t figure it out.
@stanleybmanly I do think it matters to a certain extent at least in an older woman/younger man context. But also potentially in terms of health. When I was first single, I hung around with a guy 15 years younger than me. We were never romantically involved but very close. I remember thinking that if we became a couple, he’d be 60 when I was 75. Big, big difference there.
There is still social stigma associated with the idea of cougars – not that a penguin could ever be a cougar!
Yeah it’s tougher when the woman is considerably older than the man, but I think that’s usually because we just refuse to grow up. It’s like my attitude back then. How stupid can you be?
Between consenting adults, it makes no difference. I am 8 years older than my husband. He was 24 when we met and married, 40 years ago.
I am all about personality, knowledge, good conversation and, especially good humor. Looks and bodies matter little, brains and humor are where it’s at.
I am in “love” with the 20 yr. old stall cleaner, hippie college kid here on this property that is a budding potter/sculpter and and am equally in love with the, soon to be, 88 yr. old patriarch of this property. In reality, I prefer men close to my age, even older, for the commonality but as I have gotten older friendship and a blend of personality is what turns me on, if I were looking, which I am not.
Somewhere between wet behind the ears, head banging metal lovers and rappers and nodding off mid-conversation with dentures soaking in a glass on the night stand. haha
The only thing that stands between me and my soul mate is personality gap. I used to have s good friend who was more than 30 years older than me, but we were like people at the same age.
I only talk about friendship and similar relationship. I have no interest in romantic relationship, especially those that would lead to marriage.
^^ so you want to be single all your life? Will your family agree with that?
@Mimishu1995 is a hit woman for Nineteenforties Studios, and has to always be on guard against the torpedoes on the payrolls of the enemy studios; no one is safe in public with Machine Gun Mimi! ;-o
@imrainmaker true. Either that or my s/o agrees to live with me and have no children. But the latter scenario is next to impossible due to my culture’s emphasis on having children, so there’s no other choice. I have never told anyone about that though, so everyone assumes that I’m a normal person with a desire for a husband (something most people my age are thinking), and I’m kind of fed up with the talk about whether I have a boyfriend. I know I will have to come clean one day though and I’m still thinking about how to deal with that.
Or, you can think of it the same way as @Brian1946, someone who understands me the most ~
Mary Cathleen Collins was 16 when she began hanging out with John Derek. They married when she was 19 and he was 51. She changed her name to Bo Derek and they remained married until his death.
^^ that’s something extreme case i would say..
^^^^ Sorry, but that is oogie.
Age doesn’t matter.
It’s the frame of reference. If an older person has kept abreast of current events and current culture, they’re as vibrant as a young person.
Conversely, if you were 23 and exiting a religiou religion that prohibited TV and mass media, you might relate better to an older person.
I read today that Mick Jagger is 72 and happily expecting his 8th child with his 29 yo female friend. I believe they’re both old enough to make responsible choices.
@ibstubro Good ol’ Mick, looks like he’s still getting some satisfaction & girly action. lol
Bcoz he’s Mick Jagger.. don’t think 29 yr old will fall for 72 yrs old normally..)
When I was 18 my gf was 26. Felt perfectly natural together. As a thirty year old the span was +/- 10 years and as a near 40 year old it’s like +/-15. My wife and I are the same age.
I’m 50 and I always felt that 20 years older was the max for what I considered sexy. When I was 30, there were plenty of sexy fifty year old guys. Now that I’m 50, few and far between are the seventy year old guys that exist in the world.
I haven’t dated anyone in a long time, and although there are tons of sexy younger guys, I am not sure if I would be confident enough in myself to date one. Maybe I’d consider a few years younger but any larger of a gap I’d be insecure.
@imrainmaker Well duh, have a baby with Mick Jaggar get set up for life financially. Pretty obvious what that’s all about. haha
An acceptable age difference for a man is half his age plus seven years.
Cool! That means that I could date a 25 year old? That’s a little young for my taste, but now that I know it’s socially acceptable … well. (Personally, I think an age difference of 38 years is a bit much, but I guess I don’t get to make the rules.)
^^ I find that rule to be less and less “valid” as one ages. If one applies it ad absurdum, an 80 year old, presumably of any gender, could happily date a 47 year old.
I think there was one 10-month period where Mitch and I fit that half-plus-seven thing.
It only works once, y’know. Because math.
I think @kritiper simply misstated “the rule”. It’s not “the difference in ages” that rule applies to, or is intended to apply; he was stating “the age of one’s partner”. Which would mean, for me, not that my lower bound is a 25-year-old, but a 39-year-old.
I thought you were so old that you just couldn’t do the math right any more. I understood the rule correctly. It still doesn’t work as one ages.
@imrainmaker “that’s something extreme case i would say..”
Yes, it is definitely unusual for an established film maker to fall in love with a teenage girl and make her into a movie star.
From what I remember, it would be hard to miss with Bo Derek. There aren’t many things as appealing as twenty feet of her on a movie screen.
For all I know, I could be the same age as Anna Nicole Smith’s acceptable difference was. ;-o
Depends on the species.
Humans- 30 years younger to 5 years older.
Vampires- 30 YY to about 1,000 YO.
Sexually?
Depending on the individual, 27–32 has always been my ideal. Always
Post gawk and pre flab.
@Brian1946 Every womans dream to feed an old man soup, and keep his hearing aides charged.
If the old man has about 90 gazillion dollars I guess some women consider that a fair trade off. haha
How sexist, @Coloma!
Like I wouldn’t have licked the feet of Doris Duke in 91–92!!
@ibstubro You go right ahead a be a foot licker if you so choose. haha
Alas, I never met her, and she died in 93, @Coloma.
How can you not love spandex and chaps!
That video is like the dictionary definition of MTV in their heyday.
@ibstubro Yeah, I know the D.D. story, saw a movie once too, interesting lady.
Oooh, a man in chaps, ride ‘em cowboy. Kilts are my favorite man attire, especially men in Kilts on ladders. LMAO!
I never met Doris Duke, @Coloma. I just know #1 The Legend, and #2, The Fortune.
I don’t, which I am sure in not fashionable with a society who is like a man before a mirror who once he walks away forgets what he looks like. As before how ones views a gap using biology or ideology. If you are going off biology then any person you are with that is more than 15 years your senior can be your parent—IF you want to go off biology. If you are going off ideology then so long as the society one is in and its laws deem both participants legal, once you get above the minimum bar, there is no ceiling. If two people click and can gel knowing what they are going into an age gap is nothing, the older person and learns from the younger and vice versa. If it is looked at as a lifelong discovery it will work, if someone just wants someone as close to a clone as themselves, then it will not work, or if they have this mental thing that says person B has to be within ages H & K for it to work when in actuality if that were the case, more than have the couples who broke uo or had failed marriages would not have.
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