Why would a guy go a month without contacting you?

When you said ‘Maybe another time’ and perhaps seemed offish, he gave up. I think he was brave to ask again. Communication is key.

Go on a second date, with low expectations of anything beyond having fun.

At the end of the night, if you want to see him more, tell him, but be clear on your needs for prompt communication. And then be sure to ask him if he can meet those needs.

And then you will know where you stand.

Remember, second dates are often meant for confirmation, determining if your first impression was accurate or not. That holds for both of you.

I have lived many years on this earth and have found that if someone is interested in you, no matter how busy they are, they find the time to keep in contact with you. My opinion is that he is not interested in you. But for arguments sake, let’s just say he is interested. Do you want a relationship where you only see or talk to the guy once a month? You have let most of the summer go by and could have been having fun with a guy that is interested.

The good news is he might have broken up with the person he was dating when you first went out. The bad news is he is a asshole.

Go out on second date. You liked him the first time. Go with low expectations and see how it goes.

His other girlfriend was busy, so he called you.

He’s boinking a more desirable boink. When he’s got no one else to boink, he’ll call you. (Oh, crap. @elbanditoroso already said that…)

You’re considering a second date, not a lifetime commitment.

If you liked him enough to ask him out again, I’d say go.

He might end up being a friend, or an acquaintance, or a boyfriend, or no one in particular in your life.

It’s one date. Go. Go without expectations other than to have fun.

Dating is supposed to fun. Chill.

He’s interested in you a little bit but not a lot.

Please, for the sake of your mental health and sanity, spend the $10 and read this book.

Greg Behrendt is not afraid to spill the beans and reveal how guys think and what makes them tick. He is very honest and straightforward.

If you listen to his advice, you’ll NEVER have to waste another moments time agonizing over some guy who has no more interest in you other than a possible booty call. That’s not what youre looking for.

Learn from Greg how to spot the guys who are worth your effort.

As someone else pointed out, you’ve wasted all this time mooning over some guy who isn’t worth your time while the right guy could be right around the corner.

But the right guy is un likely to approach you as long as you’re giving off the vibe that you’re all hung up on someone else.

As Greg would say: ” Don’t waste the pretty”

The right guy is out there for you. But if you keep investing your energy in guys who don’t really value you (other than a possible one night stand) You are just wasting your energy.

Believe me, if a guy really is into you it doesn’t matter how busy his life is. He will somehow MAKE TIME.

You want to be some guys number one priority, not his second or third.

Please save yourself a lot of unecessary anxiety and read this book. Find out how men really think from a guy who isn’t reluctant to tell it like it is. Stop wasting the pretty.

(BTW:don’t bother with the movie. Total piece of crap. Nothing helpful there. Read the book.) I guarantee you won’t regret it.
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https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X
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I’ll tell you how guys think, if you want to save $10.
Guys are driven by their sexual urges. It is our number one driving force in life, the number one sport. It’s who we are. We think about it all the time. CONSTANTLY! Women are sexual objects, first and foremost. If you want to understand men, believe what I’m telling you.
Everything else women might be to men gets mixed up with the man’s desire for food and other sports.
(Generally speaking, of course.)

The first wrong step you took is that you asked him out a date. I understand why you have done it. Moreover, I don’t judge you. But this strategy never works. Secondly, he didn’t ask you out in return. I see two reasons:
1. He could think silence would make him even more attractive and if you asked him out a date for the first time, you would do it again. Yes, you can comfort yourself and decide he is just too complicated personality to be simply open but it will bring you nothing good all the same. He will continue playing games and you will become tired of it sooner or later.
2. He is not interested in you, that’s all. The sooner you accept it, the better.

I’m pretty sure you will go out on a date with this guy. It’s how we, girls, always do when we have a crush on someone. However, I recommend you to act like a friend only.

@azaleaaster Your fallacy with point number 1 is that guys just aren’t that deep or conniving. They don’t think that way.

I agree with @chyna on the above. Asking a guy out can work very well. I think there is zero chance that @azaleaaster ‘s idea 1) is true. I don’t think anyone is going to try to build attraction by ignoring you for a month, or at least, there’s no way that’s the only reason.

I think that it’s likely that

3) He’s really swamped with his business & school, and so not really available for dating,

and/or

4) He’s been involved with other women.

and/or

5) He’s awful at staying in communication.

I’d go on the second date, and assuming it’s going well, ask him before it’s over about what women he’s involved with and how much he will be able to communicate & date in future.

@chyna I do not tell all guys are the same. But some people are manipulative, regardless of gender. They play with the feeling of others for certain reasons. And the simplest way to provoke someone who has already shown interest is to ignore him or her. Moreover, inaccessibility attacks. We always want something that is beyond our reach. So why do you think people cannot use this knowledge in everyday communication?

If it’s this difficult now imagine what comes next – it won’t get easier. Stop agonizing over it, kick him to the curb and move on, you’ll be glad you did. Peace

Did you have sex on that first date?

@Dutchess_III No we didn’t

So I ended up telling him I’ll be busy for a while… Honestly I like being single and even if he was serious, I’m not sure that I’m ready for a relationship. I really like him and I know going on a casual/non serious date would be bad for me.

Thanks everyone for the advice though!