MTF who is the AA sponsor?

We have lots of variety in AA on how sponsors work with others. It really depends on the group, and how many people are around to become a sponsor.

First of all, there no rules in AA. There are suggested steps for a program of recovery. And the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees. Each group is autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole.

And, I personally don’t care who sponsors another, as long as the person being sponsored feels he or she is working the steps and staying sober. Others may have an opinion.

Ideally, in a large urban group in a place like San Francisco or New York or Los Angeles, a trans person seeking a sponsor might receive suggestions of speaking to another trans person. But if they connect with a cis gendered man or woman in such a way that the person helps them understand and work the steps, then great! More power to them! Whatever helps you achieve and maintain sobriety.

MTF folk are women, so unless there’s some kind of transphobic policy in AA I would assume their sponsor would be a woman if everybody else has a same-gender sponsor. AA wouldn’t even necessarily know the person was trans.

They could also just ask her what she’s most comfortable with.

Seeing he/she would have grown or had acquired aftermarket melons, got liposuctioned, maybe butt implanted, laser hair removed, etc., but still has the sausage.
You are ridiculously sexist and shallow.

I have literally never heard this “rule” you speak of, and I find the entire premise of the question, not to mention its wording, distasteful.

@zenvelo What makes you believe man will still be viable on this planet when that happens? I believe man will be done on this planet long before any of the resources are.
Well, that IS a new one on me, I thought AA had a national governing body by what some I know have spoken of it.

It really depends on the group, and how many people are around to become a sponsor.
I guess the groups around here, especially the larger better known ones, have the proclivity to match only sponsors to the same sex as those they are sponsoring. Over the years I have heard women complain they could not have a sponsor because there were not enough women and they were not allowed to have a man, even one they knew well; it seemed like an established rule to me.

That made me wonder with everything going so catawampus these past decades, with the thought that it was a hard and fast rule how would they handle a MTF, or MTM when they believe they are other than who they were born but legally still seen as who they are born. Even if they never said who they were really born as, if it were discovered somehow, how would he sponsor who was never told feel, especially if it were a MTF who still had a man on third, and the female sponsor invited he/she to her house alone without foreknowledge? One might feel bamboozled as if a person active with head lice sat all over their furniture and never told them until it was exposed somehow; in that mythology.

@Mariah MTF folk are women,…]
I will go by what the DMV or the IRS W2 says, they are official government documents……

@chyna, @Seek
We all have our opinions and we know what is said of those. I have heard many disgusting, silly, and downright stupid things here, but others thought them germane and upstanding so, go figure……..

@Hypocrisy_Central Are you quoting me? I don’t see that in my answer.

FYI, Tradition Nine of Alcoholics Anonymous (Short Version):

A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

There is a General Service Board composed of representatives from the various regions. They are responsible to the region and carry the group conscience of the region to General Service Conferences to make decisions.

@zenvelo Are you quoting me? I don’t see that in my answer.
No, I was clarifying that off the evidence I gleaned from those I have heard from, and the thought that there were hard and fast rules, this question was spawned. I never knew all or most AA gatherings were independent. If a woman wanted a male sponsor that was a good friend of hers I could not see why there would be a restriction unless they do not want the appearance of a dating club, or if a relationship happened it would be a distraction which if it did and the relationship fell apart, the person needing help would leave or it would be messy for the chapter (or whatever they call them).

They are responsible to the region and carry the group conscience of the region to General Service Conferences to make decisions.
Could not they be making decision such as men stick with men, and women stick with women when it comes to sponsorship?

@Hypocrisy_Central No, that’s not the way it works.

If a question arises that would apply to AA as a whole, the group conscience of every group is solicited. And then it is discussed, and changes like that generally only occur if 75% of all the groups agree to the change.

But “sponsorship rules” is not something that would ever become a policy question for AA. If a man gets a woman sponsor, others will counsel him that it is not advisable, but nothing will happen if he continues with her as a sponsor.

And after some time, many people stop working with a specific sponsor, but groups of friends all sponsor each other. In other words, I have half a dozen people I can call at any time, and they can call me. And we listen and offer suggestions on working the steps for a particular situation.

Write this down in the history books, another area we have no dispute on.

I’m sure they have AA type meetings in many Military Treatment Facilities (MTF) and since they are federal facilities, they can’t discriminate against anyone. The caregivers would definitely make sure that shit the fan.

self edit

Um, wow. This seems like a leading question designed to get us to say, “nobody, dur hur hur!”

Trans women are women, period.

As a side note, I regularly go to a meeting for queer folks and straight allies. People just pick whatever sponsor they’re comfortable with. The idea of the “men with men, women with women” thing is so you don’t get attracted to your sponsor. They’re a lot like a counselor or a mentor and being attracted to them could derail your sobriety.

So for instance a gay guy might have a better experience with a woman sponsor if he feels the attraction thing will be an issue, or he might be happier with a guy as a sponsor if they have more experiences in common.

For your fictional trans woman, it would depend on if she’s attracted to men or women and who she feels more comfortable with. But also what @chyna said.