Am I at fault here (details inside)

If I understand this correctly, your parents haven’t forbad you from hanging out with this girl, just given you an early curfew?

If that’s the case, my suggestion would be, next time you want to go to a park like that, to tell your parents ahead of time, “I am planning on picking up (Friend-A) and (Friend-B), and all go together to the entertainment park to spend the day. I understand the time will be past my limit, but I will call to tell you I am well and safe at (time). After the park closes/we get bored/whatever, I will drop my friends off at their home and come home again.”

They say it’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission, but in the case of parents (especially overbearing parents) getting caught in a lie usually makes things worse.

Negotiation is the way around this. Tell them you understand the curfew is in your best interest, but will this special case be OK, if you promise to call?

You can not deal with a childish girl who demands things you can not do. She does not own you, and your parents do. You should find another girl who can be honest with you so you can be honest with your parents.

@Mimishu1995… How old are you? I always thought you were in your late teens or early 20’s…?

She still lives with her parents, and it is Southeast Asia. Things be different there.

I know Seek. I was just wondering if she is able to move out on her own and support herself? Or is that frowned upon there?

As far as I know she is still in school so living with her parents works. Just a few more years of bullshit and she can move.

No. Your friend is being disrespectful of your time, curfew, and doesn’t care if you get in trouble at home for not keeping to the agreement you have with your parents. I would tell her that if she was really my friend she would not want to see me get in trouble because of her lack of proper planning and respect.

If you are under 18 then this person needs to respect that your parents are still legally responsible for you so you DO NOT have the right to challenge their authority.

Under certain circumstances, however, such as your park, you CAN propose a negotiation for temporary alternate permissions.
Explain to them that a particular event requires you to surpass the curfew to be worthwhile, what exactly the plan is, who you’ll be with, what time you’ll be home and that you’re willing to call to check in with them every hour so that they are still in a way monitoring your safety.
I know that if my aunt were your mother she’d appreciate that and gladly work it out with you because it would illustrate to her that you are responsible so CAN be trusted (my mother was lenient, I never had a curfew, I didn’t need one, all that mattered was whether or not I’d be home for dinner).

I must say, however, that your parents’ opinion of this particular girl may be valid. It sounds like she’s more trouble than she’s worth, that she’s immature, disrespectful and irresponsible.
The right way to have handled that park outing would have been to Google map the directions beforehand and to have suggested the above for timing rather than bitch about the curfew and try to pit you against your parents. Particularly after she was the one who wasted all the time carelessly leading you around to reach the destination.

I’d consider dumping her.

@DarknessWithin She’s in southeast Asia. The cultural rules are nothing like they are in other countries, like the US.

I say she is selfish, immature and thinks she can do what she wants. Reduce your visits unless you really have fun with her.

Stop your pain and break off the relationship.

@Dutchess_III, @johnpowell is right, I have one more year to graduate then I can move out. I love my parents, but their strict rules can get too absurb and irritate me sometimes.

Thank you for your responses. I could smell bullshit when she gave me that advice, but I wasn’t sure. I want to slap your responses onto her face but that would reveal my existence here :p Don’t get me wrong, she is a sweet girl. It’s just that she has some questionable view and behavior that don’t match her age, but they don’t cause me trouble (well, maybe not until now). I think this incident has shown me something about her and I need to reconsider whether I can force her to grow up or she is beyong help.

Last night she texted me saying that she likes me a lot but if I don’t have time for her then I shouldn’t force myself, because she doesn’t like seeing me in any trouble. It’s still too early for me to draw any conclusion from it, but for the time being I’m going to go with the guess that her parents knew the whole thing and gave her some good spanking for not respecting her friend’s time.

She should have thanked you instead of complaining on that night because if it wasn’t for you she would have never been able to step out of her house to experience fun things outside due to her situation.

I was, and have always been a rebellious child to my parents so can see why she might be annoyed. She thinks that you allow your parents to control you, akin to subservient kid, without wanting to fight back for your own sake. I don’t know how strict are your parents, if the curfew limit is 11 pm then it’s reasonable but if it’s 7 pm then your parents are way too strict and it’s not strange that people see you being put on a leash by your parents. I say go ahead rebel and be relentless if you think your own action won’t bring any disadvantages to your parents as soon or later they’ll eventually realize that no punishment will work on your independence.

Now that you mentioned she seems to have ‘understood’ your situation I say it’s worth to give her a second chance, a clean start, without any prejudice. It will be good to see if she really is true to her words, but if she complains about that night incident again this will prove that she was not sincere when she texted you that she cares about you and understand your situation.

@Unofficial_Member thanks for your input. My parents’ curfews are 1:30 p.m in the morning and 10 p.m at night. The morning curfew may be a bit too strict but the night one is reasonable to me. But whenever I stay with her she tried to pester me into staying a bit more and that’s one of the reason why I go home late. And that morning she wanted me to break all the curfews by staying from the morning to the evening.

I got the feeling she thought I was allowing my parents to take total control on me too, but what bugs me is that she should have told me that “advice” before that incident happened if she really cares, since I always told her I was lying. And she really should think a bit: if I really didn’t have the strength to fight for my independence, we would never have been able to hang out in the first place (I did tell her that during my argument against her complaint, which obviously didn’t reach her). Right now I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt and see what happens.

Sometimes you need to grow up a bit.

I’m wondering if your paren’t instincts might be right. She sounds like a user to me.

Maybe your parents are also bothered by the fact that you are having to pick her up and drop her off all the time.

It’s so refreshing that you are so honest about lying @Mimishu1995! LOL!! Hang in there! ♥

Were you in the wrong? How the trip ended, no, overall, yes. You never heard of ”Oh what a tangled web we weave, when once we practice to deceive”? You are not straight with your friend, lying to your parents, and wonder why you are jammed in the middle. If your friend knew the real in the deal she could try to change her image to your parents, or she would have understood the reason for such an early curfew and had her information tighter as to not get lost. All sort of strange things happen when people have unmet expectations. She made the comment because she expected to get to the entertainment park and did not, things like that causes people to get angry, snide, etc. I don’t know how long you known this friend and how well your parents know her, maybe you should try harder to get them to see her in a different light. Lying is never good policy, how would you feel if you had a need for school and your parents instead of telling you that they could not afford to do it, just lied to your face about some untrue reason they could not, would that sit well with you? If you think your parent’s rules and such are such bullshit, as some seem to think, then go your own way no matter the sacrifice. If one whines about how unfair their parents are yet live off their mortgage, rent, gas money, insurance, food and lodging, etc. I would say is a person that is all hat and no cattle. If your parents got hit by a bus tomorrow (God forbid) where would that leave you? I don’t think their policy will be such bullshit then, better be happy to have them while you have opportunity to have them around.

@Mimishu1995

“My parents’ curfews are 1:30 p.m in the morning and 10 p.m at night.”

Are you saying you can’t leave the house before 1:30 PM and you have to be back by 10 PM?

Otherwise, a 1:30 AM curfew would be niiiice. ;-)

Even without your parents and curfews in this equation she is wrong, but you are also wrong for not putting up boundaries. Let’s say you were older, free and had your own car, but had an appointment that day. You told her that you had to leave at a certain time and she became otherwise and complained. Does that throw some light on it?

I’d tell her in advance how much time I am going to spend with her and stick to it.