What do you think, is there any point in getting offended?

Sounds like you have already supplied the answers you want.

We know the truth but it is the way others serve it to us that offends us rather than the fact itself.

You shouldn’t be offended because they are right or wrong. You should be offended because they are rude and uncouth.

The act of saying someone is ugly or fat or whatever, is intended to offend. There’s no other reason to say it. If someone calls me a bastard, I’ll be offended even if my mother was never married. That’s the nature of these statements.

All my life I’ve wished I could avoid ever feeling offended or slighted, but apparently it’s something I too often cannot control.

But I know do know this: it’s a waste of time and energy wallowing in other people’s treatment or opinions.

Ah, but @Pachy, some things are egregious and you should be offended. I think you are right on target letting some stuff get to you, it indicates you have empathy and a conscience.

Regardless to if there is a point in being offended people are going to be offended by such a personal attack. We shouldn’t be asking if there is a point being offended, but rather if there is a point saying such a thing to a person. What is the point in insulting a person like that? What does one get out of that? If it’s a difference of opinion on a debatable topic, one could make the respected argument that there is something to be learned from opposing views. There is literally nothing to be learned from insulting a person’s appearance.

Regardless to whether a person can accept themselves or not, it’s still very hurtful and insulting for a person to attack you for looking a certain way. It’s totally uncalled for and unnecessary. It’s human nature to be offended after being insulted. We are not machines, we have emotions.

I can appreciated being called ugly is an example. But you have given an example of a personal based on feature of appearance that is unchangeable. If you were to describe a similar insult based on a person’s skin colour, accent, height etc. It’s still a pointless personal attack.

@stanleybmanly has the right idea. It’s not the content of the comment per se. But the mere idea that the person who said it had the arrogance to assume they have the right to belittle, mistreat and abuse another human being by saying it in the first place.

“If you can’t say something nice say nothing at all”
Thumper in Bambi

Sometimes there is a very valid reason to become offended. If enough people get offended, and angry, stuff changes that should be changed. If I’m denied the right to sit in a restaurant solely because of the color of my skin, damn right I’m offended.

That isn’t comparable to assholes going around deliberately trying to make people feel bad just because it makes them feel bigger and stronger.

I am not easily offended and always consider the source. Most of the things people have said/done to offend me have come from those that have the EQ of a 5 year old. Aside from that you are absolutely correct @Sneki95 , however, as has also been said, and relating to my original comment, it is the rudeness and lack of emotional maturity that really offends.

Man is by nature prideful, anything not stroking the ego injures the id. People say it is not the worlds but how the words are delivered. If someone tells you that you are slow, ugly, fat, etc., and you become angry even when it is not true, it is because you are met with an undesired expectation, you expect that everyone will treat you in a certain manner, when they don’t, then it makes you feel are not valuing you at a level you feel you should be. In the first example; if someone points out, or have reasonable hard evidence that you are fat, less intelligent in a given area, sloppy, etc., some might accept it, and say ”so what?”, other will take offence. No one wants anything seen as a flaw pointed out to them even if it is true. It is another thing if the comment make of the person was to others to give them a misrepresentation of who you are over a private conversation just between you and them. If you know who you are, then what anyone says will not matter. A wealthy guy dressed like a bum, is someone say ”Beat it you bum, we don’t want moochers around here”, he would have no reason the get twisted because he knows he could buy 15 times what the mook who told him to beat it can buy. If he gets twisted it is because he believes he should be treated in a certain manner because he is rich, or some other reason, and the other person is not giving him his do.

If someone says something truly rude or wrong, it is okay to get offended and tell them that what they’re doing is inappropriate. Otherwise they may never learn manners.

Some people these days are abusing taking offense and using it to police what others say.

It’s a fine line to walk.

Too true, @canidmajor. Which is one of the advantages of retirement, which allows me to More often avoid discomforting people and situations.

Yes there is a very valid point to getting offended.

Everyone wants to fit in, right?

You should be offended if this person calls you, or you call this person, friend.

@SecondHandStoke I enjoy not fitting in. Especially with offensive people.

Sticks and stones…..

I would be angry and sad either way. I know though, that the real issue is with the person that says something like that.

What are they trying to achieve? What was their motivation and what deep psychological insecurities are they carrying that causes them to want to be a smart ass and say something along those lines.

Say for example, I was something very obvious, like huge, and someone shouted ‘You are huge’. or didn’t shout, they just pointed out the obvious is my point.

They’d hardly score highly on my sarcasm tick list, nor on the highly intelligent tick list.

Are you talking about someone we know? Or a stranger? That has a lot of influence on the question.

Really, either way their issue belongs with them and does not really deserve my analysing it. I can instead like you’ve hinted at, analyse any reaction of mine to this. When we feel vulnerable it can really get to us, when we feel strong and secure, it wouldn’t.

I reckon we are always a work in progress and peoples reactions to us and ours to them shows us where along the road we are at any given time.

Then there’s the matter of who’s saying it. If a 3 year old points a finger in the supermarket and exclaims “mommy look at the fat lady”, of course you look to the parent’s reaction in order to gauge the situation. By the same token, there are good people among us truly unable to determine the norms for social interaction. I know a couple of them, and they lead interesting though difficult lives.