If your husband tells one of his female friends by text that she is his crush would you get pissed off ?

PISSED OFF? I would feel like an idiot for believing in him. Totally immature coming from a grown man.

If it was supposed to be a monogamous, relationship, yes, definitely. It’s one thing to look, but voicing something like that to the person indicates that there’s some kind of intent there – other than looking. I would be on high alert if my SO behaved that way in a monogamous relationship.

This is a component of an emotional affair.

Technically, at least, inappropriate.

I would be very pissed. I totally agree with what you wrote – crushes will still happen in monogamous relationships but they should never be acted upon. And telling her counts as acting upon it.

This would be totally inappropriate to me. Does she have a crush on him as well?

It is actually something to share with your partner, not with the person unless your partner encourages you.

My girlfriend has told me, “I have a bit of a crush on (movie star) (athlete) (waiter)” , it is a bit of fun we have together.

I mentioned I had a little crush on a musician we were seeing, and my girlfriend said, “you should tell her!” Nothing more than fun.

But definitely not something to do in secret.

I’d have questions, but certainly not jump to conclusions. In what context did this text take place? How do you know this texting took place? What does he mean by crush? I’d need a lot more answers.

My wife and I joke about being involved with other people. I call the IT guy at her school her boyfriend because they get a long well and my ex boyfriend that I am in contact with is my future husband. We tell each other when we see attractive people. And then there is our ever running threesome joke.

But I’m not like most people. I do not own my wife; she is not my possession. She is her own person. I just want her to be happy and if that is not me then so be it.

I too think I need more information before determining if this is a problem or not. In addition to @tinyfaery‘s point, the point could have been made to alert his friend to his feelings and because he intends to pull back from spending time with her. “I’ve developed a crush on you. So I’m not going to spend as much time with you until I get this under control”. Or it could have been said to gauge whether she has similar feelings. Hard to say without more information. Or as @tinyfaery wrote, it could have been a joke, although I acknowledge it’s a risky joke to make with someone you actually spend time with. I joke with my husband about Sofia Vergara (for him) and a list of people for me, but I’m never going to meet Denzel and my husband isn’t likely to hook up with Sofia!

Clothes would be on the lawn.

There has to be something more to it than just the word “crush” being involved. If he’s trying to smoothly throw it out there as an ambiguous opening, that’s wrong. If it’s someone you’ve expressed not being comfortable with, then that’s wrong. I guess if it was outside his normal personality and not something he would joke about, that would make me upset as well.

But by itself? Without context, it doesn’t sound like it would mean much. I’m 100% harmless and have been for a long, long time. I joke with people I enjoy talking to constantly. I suppose my wife could take offense, but I’d much rather she just explains to me why something hurts her feelings than to stick to rigid rules and let public opinion dictate her reaction. But I think she also trusts me not to make her (or our relationship) look bad, or to intentionally hurt her.

If you (or the person that prompted the question) is worried about it, then it’s a problem for them, and that’s enough. But don’t let anyone else make the decision how to react within your relationship.

If he told her she was his crush.. then he did so for a reason… he was wanting to know her response to this for inappropriate reasons.. don’t need more info.. don’t need to know the context… plain and simple he was up to something… no other reason or excuse for why telling her that would be appropriate in any way shape or form…

Married people should not be telling their crush they have a crush on them if they don’t plan on acting on it. Because once he tells her, anything can happen.

Is this a hypothetical question or is it something that actually happened? I ask because it seems to be worded in such a way as to be a hypothetical scenario.

I’ve been told by married men that I was their crush in high school and that was awkward enough. If I found out about this I would have a good long talk. I know my ex was trying to sneak away at our class reunion with the girl he slept with in high school. Looking back I should have just turned my back and let him. Sometimes if you give someone enough leash they hang themselves with it.

@chinchin31

So what actually had happened?

And yes I would be pissed! Depends on the circumstances thought.
It could be she got him tickets for the hot game and he said that
juat in excitement moment!

thanks. no it is not hypothetical. I saw it on his phone. They were having a conversation about whether she had any crushes as she is single at the moment . He even defined what a crush is. I don’t think she is interested. He is just an inappropriate fool. I am not going to bring it up. Will just monitor things. The thing is he doesn’t mind me looking at his phone at all which makes me even more pissed off. Maybe he is the type of person who thinks it is okay to make these type of comments when married or it was poor judgement. Who knows. AT least she ignores it and doesn’t respond to it.

This will go well.~

It depends on context but generally this is what divorces are made of.
Flirting is one thing and usually innocent enough but expressing interest is not. My brother in law has his “work wife” according to my sister. Someone taking that out of context may deem it inappropriate but it’s just that this woman is his partner and is responsible in part for his safety. (They are probation officers)

The fact that he let you view the text tells me that he is expecting a response from you to see IF you are jealous.
Some people play games and some men try to keep there women on a lease by flirting with other females in front of their wives to keep them in line.
I would seriously have a long talk with him about his feelings for you as this very well could be just testing your responses or a way to test the other women should he one day try to have an affair.
Turn the scenario around..What would he had done if it was you doing that?
Bet he would leave on the spot!
You must have more esteem and he must value your relationship to NOT play these games..if so have a serious talk about where your relationship is going and tell him the consequences that will happen should he continue in this vein.
You should have someone who loves and values you enough!

Hi! If I’d be a woman, probably that would end the marriage. A crush means that you are not a 100% committed to your partner. Of course you see an attractive someone that you imagine how sex would be with, but that’s true to women too. On the other hand, if it’s voiced in any way, that’s like cheating.