What is the calorie count and nutritional information on a typical human?

Sounds like you have to be a bit careful what who you eat.

A human runs about 81,000 calories, a third of it from fat. Best to learn how to salt preserve.

I see these figures are based on data published in the 1940’s and 1950’s before fast food really took off and should probably be revised upwards,

Ask loli

There are 4 calories per gram of protein and 9 calories per gram of fat. Subtract the inedible bone and gristle, and the organs that are commonly discarded (how much does a pancreas weigh?).

The real question is how are you cooking the human? Boiling makes for tough meat, but roasting means losing fat to drippings. Unless you’re going to make a pan gravy.

A human female is, on average, between 28 percent and 39 percent muscle. I’ll shoot low because I know I’m out of shape. For me, 28 percent muscle means 39.2 lbs of muscle meat. We’ll round up to 40, to account for some marbling.

So, 40 lbs of meat, divided into 4 oz servings, makes 160 servings.

Not fit for consumption. It would be like eating medicated bear meat. Have you ever smelled bear meat? Gross.

I think if you’re at the point where you are eating people, calories are the least of your concerns.

@MrGrimm888 On the other hand, if you are at that point, calories may be paramount.

I would suggest going vegetarian with human beans.

Does not matter, because they do not taste very good if they are older than 10 years.
And whatever you do, do not eat smokers. They taste like wet cigarette butts.