Any advice for a divorced parent about to deal with school holidays?

There’s never an easy answer. In many families the non-custodial parent has the child all holidays. Sharing holidays is a good compromise. With skype, facebook, and telephones, they child won’t be too lonely.

I assume the father is hiring a sitter for his work days. Some companies give parental leave for those days.

Yeah it sucks. I guess I just want to protect my daughter and make her feel ok about it all.
And it’s hard for her as she’s asking already why can’t she just be with both of us. Breaks my heart.

My brother has shared custody of his three year old daughter. While she is with him, and he needs to work, my niece visits with other family members – either my mom and her husband or me and my family.

Your daughter is fortunate to be able to spend time with her dad and grow up knowing him. I had about five days, total, with my dad after my parents split up. That can really mess with a kid’s head.

I know so many people in your position. Does she have a good time with her dad now, and come home happy? If so, I think she will probably handle it well. You never now when a child will be on some sort of jag when they always want a certain parent, but overall kids do well as long as they are with someone whom they love to be with, even if they miss the person who primarily takes care of them. That she wants you both together means to me she likes being with both you and her dad. Thank goodness. Imagine if she hated being with him and you had to send her off ever few weeks to him. I know you already realize how dreadful that would be without me saying it.

You will likely suffer more than her with the set up.

Soon she will understand time and the calendar better, and she will know what day she goes back to you, and ask less about it.

Hopefully, she will make friends where her dad lives and that will help. Does he have relatives who live near him? Having grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who visit is usually something kids love.

When I was little I used to spend three weeks with my grandma in the summer. I loved it. My niece and nephew used to spend 4–5 weeks every summer with their dad, and 2 weeks at Christmas. They had Santa Claus in America, Dom Rep, and Italy because of it. When they became teens is when it became really hard, because what teen wants to leave their primary friends for weeks?

3 hours is a very long distance for every other weekend. I’m sure that must be difficult on everyone.

My thought is children worry about their parents being happy. If she knows you will miss her terribly, she will worry about you. Do not do that to her. You tell her you love her, and big cuddles when you drop her off, and reassure her she can call you any time.

Do you get along with the dad? If she changes her mind a few days into it, would he be OK sending her back, and giving it another go next time? Can you both cooperate in this?

Kids are very resilient. If he’s a good dad she’ll be OK. She’ll miss you, sure, but it won’t be traumatizing.

Also, here in America, those parenting time terms are usually spelled out in the papers. But if there is no animosity, they don’t need to be.