—-A LOVE QUESTION?!—-
Okay. Fact about Lovelocke (NOT UP FOR DEBATE) – I’ve had sex with over 60 people in my lifetime. I started when I was 18, an emotional wreck from breaking up with my very first girlfriend, and I am 24 years old right now. Looking back, I can’t say I regret how I lost my virginity (Me, 18… her, 42… but it was fun!), but I can say I’m glad that I DID save my heart for those who I would enter relationships with.
Yikes, that’s a hell of a paragraph to start off with, right? Well, there’s a reason for that. My first girlfriend and I dated for about 2 years, but her “real life” began to call her away from me… to college and career and so on. We lived 50 miles apart, so I would drive a minimum of 100 miles every day I wanted to be with her, and I was with her twice a week at least. When I couldn’t, we’d talk on the phone and so on. We shared many legitimate firsts with each other, first bf/gf, first holding hands, first kiss, first booty grabbing… and it was all very warm and special, actually… the kind of warm and special that you don’t just get with everybody: And you’re finding that out right now for yourself.
You feel you’re getting “bored” or you’re “wasting their time”, but really, you’re just not making the real emotional connection that two people who are in love make with each other. The high number of women I mentioned before? Most of them… many of them… were one-nighters. I went out, I met a cute girl, we saw a movie or something, it was fun, then we had our night and left our separate ways. It’s not a lifestyle I’d recommend for everybody, but it was a lifestyle that sort of… practically opened my eyes to the fact that there really ARE other “fish in the sea”... and furthermore, “It’s not my job to love every one of them that I see”.
I have had four real girlfriends… My first girlfriend (who you’ve heard a bit about my dedication towards her, even in the long-distance aspect). My second girlfriend? Basically a “rebound relationship”. She and I dated about 6 months, but I was tired of her poor attitude and sloppy hygiene (she’d shower once every two days or so to save on the water bill)... so, while I was looking for an easy way to dump her, she ended up sleeping with a friend of mine. Two birds, one stone: I didn’t much like HIM either… heh.
Third relationship was bad. She was in her senior year in high school (18 years old), I was 21 at the time. Her parents originally approved of me, but later, the age became a large issue for them. There was a lot of drama after that point, but as it turned out, it was all the girl’s web of lies. A lot of people who break up always say “They were a liar/cheater, etc” but in my case, it was true: She had me believe she was being stalked by someone that her parents kept inviting over… but, then through some Google detective work, I found out she had a total of THREE boyfriends, and she pit us all against each other. She had three secret myspace pages, each being updated weekly with pics of her with (whoever). Little pimpstress I guess, but it cost me a lot emotionally… so much that I ended up going to the hospital and requiring medication and the whole nine yards.
After that, I stayed away from relationships for awhile. I spent a lot of time listening to people, helping them out with their problems (through laughter, which ironically is under appreciated on this site) and just being the “Call him anytime” guy.
You sir, you need this bit of info: Everybody who has ever said something that you’ve “heard before”, whether it’s something like “There’s more fish in the sea” or something cheesy like that says it for a reason… it’s true. I know that in my times of desperation, if I would’ve just listened to my parents, for example, I would’ve saved myself a lot of heartache. You have to listen and do, not listen and think about how your situation’s different. Love cycles around and around like the seasons in the year… remember that when it’s cold and still in your life, it will soon be warm and in bloom again.
Eh… also: Some blunt advice. Long distance relationships never work, and the drama that can come out of “saving” a relationship like that can be enough to make it so the two of you will never want to see each other again. Look back at the good times and smile, look back at the bad times and think: But when you think, think only about what has happened and not what could have or should have been.
Life! It goes on… now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go fulfill the destiny of my toilet bowl.