Would you cheat if you have the opportunity and no fear of getting caught?

I could not, I’d feel guilty.

Nah. It’s a little late to start a new career as a card sharp. I like being honest. It has its rewards.

Cheating would mean I had somehow taken leave of my senses and done something I would SO not normally do. And if I did something like that, I would tell my husband about it.

No. Guilt would get the best of me. I tell my wife everything.

No. It’s called having integrity. Nobody else may know, for awhile anyway, but shit like this always finds a way to reveal itself. I am very proud of the fact that I have never lied to, cheated on or otherwise deceived anyone.

No, fear of getting caught is not the reason I don’t cheat in my relationships.

No. Never. Honesty is always the best policy and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The guilt would tear me apart.

That’s a pointless question. I mean there’s jaywalking and there’s embezzlement from orphanages

If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying hard enough.

And by that I mean, I’m neutral on this until the circumstance is more clearly defined, as @stanleybmanly brought up.

Oddly enough, I don’t jaywalk – ever – but I’m not going to tell you that I can see your cards reflected in your eyeglasses, either.

If I was running a corporation, obviously I would.
But then I am not a capitalist, so no.

@stanleybemanly – it’s question of ethics you follow in day to day life. So doesn’t require any specific scenarios. It can be as simple as obeying speed limit when you know there are no cops around / speed censors aren’t installed to record overspeeding. Would your conscious allow to do that or not?

@imrainmaker – Depends on circumstances.

Do I typically exceed the speed limit? No. If I were on the way to the hospital, or it was really cold and my heat didn’t work, or I really had to pee, probably.

I agree with @imrainmaker

Sure, stealing a candy bar isn’t as bad as stealing a car, but…stealing is stealing and cheating is cheating. Personally, for me, it is less about the sexual aspect than it is about the lying component. Anyone that can glibly lie to another, is a dangerous person IMO. I experienced cheating in my long over marriage at one point and it always blew my mind how someone could walk in the door and give you a kiss and pat you on the ass while saying “great spaghetti sauce babe!” an hour after they were with somebody else. WTF!

I am not a liar, and I am a bad liar to boot, and the idea of walking in the door a couple hours after having been cheating with someone and pretending that everything is just business as usual is incomprehensible to me.
Cheating is all about lying, and anyone that can lie without compunction has some serious character disturbance IMO. “Once a cheater, always a cheater may not be true” but…“once a liar, always a liar” probably is most of the time.

Cheating based on circumstance is nothing more than situational ethics.
If the biggest reason one is not cheating, stealing, raping, killing is because the right opportunity hasn’t presented, well…I have nothing more to say. haha

I didn’t even consider cheating in a relationship as part of the question. That’s a non-starter for me. Won’t do it. Won’t consider it.

But I’m a good liar, when necessary. It’s a survival skill honed by experience.

@Seek Well sure, if ones survival depends on lying, but otherwise, it is a really bad character trait when lying is all about personal gain at the expense of others well being.
I assumed that the OP was relating their question to relationship cheating. They didn’t specify cheating as in, cheating on a test or in playing a game or eating donuts when you’re on a diet. lol

My perception of the question was taken in the context of intimate relationship. If this is about any type of cheating, short of dieting, I would still say “no” I would not cheat. Now put a slice of cheesecake in front of my face when I am trying to drop a few pounds, yep, game over. haha

On Mrs Squeeky NEVER!!
On my taxes sure maybe if there was no chance of getting caught.

@imrainmaker With your stipulations, the answer is of course I cheat daily. There’s no getting around it. I jaywalk, exceed the speed limit, and park constantly without stuffing money in municipal parking meters. I’ll jump into the empty 15 items or less checkstand line with 16 things in my cart, u turn mid block at 3 in the morning, run into a restroom marked “customers only” and not spend a dime. The opportunities are endless, Hell, I’ll cheat even WITH a fear of getting caught. It’s merely a question of assessing the odds and consequences.

I agree that it’s circumstantial. No part of me wants to deceive loved ones, and my conscience wouldn’t allow me to do much of anything unfair on any level. interestingly enough, I’m really bad at lying when it counts, but excellent at it when it’s just for fun. I couldn’t even drink my parents booze as a kid without tattling on myself.

But if I could speed without consequence? Yes. Copy answers for a “core class” that won’t actually affect my future career (read as: art class, even though I’m a science major)? Absolutely. Actually, I’d be pretty okay with cheating “the system” in a lot of ways, honestly. In Capitalist America, System Cheats You.

@stanleybmanly Jaywalking, speeding, not paying for a parking meter is not cheating. Most of what you mention is breaking the law, but cheating always involves deception, duplicity & sneakiness. All of the behaviors you mention lack those traits IMO. You may be taking a risk to gain something for yourself, not having to go the extra distance to the crosswalk, not paying the extra money for the parking meter, trying to pass off your 21 items as 15, but,,,the common denominator in all of these behaviors is lack of trying to actually conceal your intent. You’re just balls out taking a chance not planning some sort of stealth strategy. haha

So the parking ticket is not about cheating the city out of the revenue to which it believes itself entitled?

@stanleybmanly Well, technically yes, but if the meter maid came by and busted you, you probably wouldn’t try to lie your way out it and your original intent, while not honest and opportunistically based, is not of a personal nature like cheating on a partner or bilking some little old lady out of her life savings. The collateral damage from not putting your $3.00 in the parking meter is not going to ruin any lives and jay walking will only harm you when that bus mows you down and crushes you like a squirrel. haha In other words, the consequences really only effect you.

The parking ticket will cost you a lot more than the original meter fee, so, you really are just harming yourself in the big picture. Of course, your jay walking will effect others, the ones that have to scrape your remains off the street. lol

Well I agree that the parking tickets already paid more than justify my determination to deprive the city of every dime from my pocket that I can arrange.

@stanleybmanly My daughter, who is almost 29 now got in trouble with a friend at about age 19 for the ol’ “dine and dash” scenario. The only trouble she ever got into. She and a friend ordered deli sandwiches and then decided to skip out on paying. They got caught and she was fined like $150.00 for misdemeanor petty theft.

I had always told her she got, one, ONE, screw up and that was the one. lol
Yep, a pretty damned expensive sandwich.

No. I always try to do the right thing whether any one is there to notice or not.

What sort of cheating are we talking about?

As a blanket statement, I’d say no. I’m a very honest person. I’m sure there are grey areas though. Would I cheat at cards? Depends who I’m playing and what the stakes are. If I thought shaking a one-armed bandit would make it pay up, would I give it a shake? Possibly.

Would I cheat to get a particular outcome in an online game? Maybe.

Would I cheat on my husband? No. Never.

Would I cheat on an exam or get someone else to write an essay for me? No. Never.

You need to define cheating.

Remind me to never play cards with you. You are a bad, bad person!

:-D Well… if I did cheat, I’d undoubtedly let you know I was doing it. There are times when cheating can be fun!

To be honest I guess it boils down to who/what would be hurt and that means there is an awful lot of grey areas that have to be considered.

Will I run a red light if it was midnight and no one was coming from any other direction? Yes, nobody can or would get hurt.

Would I keep a wallet full of cash because no one knows it was me who found it? No, someone is depending upon that money for something.

Would I cheat on my wife with a stranger or even a friend? Why? What has this other woman got that my wife doesn’t? To quote Mr. Prine; “I met a girl from Venus, and her insides were lined in gold. Well, she did what she did said “How was it, kid?” She was politely told “Pretty good, not bad, I can’t complain but actually everything is just about the same.”

Of course I would. There are no consequences, which means I can be true me, which is an asshole.

I would like to think that I would be honest, but you never know for sure what you would do.

Here is an NPR broadcast that touches on this issue. It involves a situation with relatively small rewards. 75% of the participants lost and 15% cheated and said they won. That makes for a cheating rate of 15/75 = 20%.

@Sneki95 Embrace your inner asshole ey? lol

Depends on what it is. In games and education, generally no, because I get that I’d be cheating myself out of the experience which is the purpose in me doing it.

In general, rules and laws generally have an intended purpose. If I feel I quite understand the purpose, and that either the purpose is not served by strict rule obedience in a specific case (e.g. jaywalking when there is really no traffic), or I quite disagree with the rule (e.g. no anti-corrupt-establishment signs or t-shirts at a political event), then to heck with the rule and cheating is justified, or even a good thing. Now, I know some people think obedience and rule-following are their own end, and ok for them but I disagree in many cases.

@Zaku Agreed, sometimes rules, protocol and laws certainly can be ignored or adjusted dependent on circumstance. I don’t use my turn signal when turning off my rural highway when there is no other ca in sight for miles. I think we’re talking more about situational ethics and morality breaches that cause harm to others than bending the rules in situations where doing so would cause no harm.

@Coloma Of course. I ain’t gonna play goody two shoes. I know myself enough to know i am an asshole and having no limits would be too much of a temptation for me.

Don’t we all follow rules simply because we can face consequences if we don’t do it anyways?

Not necessarily, @Sneki95. It depends on how emotionally mature a person is.

@Sneki95 No “we” don’t. I follow my own personal code of integrity because I like the woman in the mirror and I don’t like feeling guilty or knowing my actions have caused upset to another. Your attitude is scary, being a self proclaimed asshole is hardly something to brag about.

@Coloma Eh, I wasn’t exactly bragging, I simply feel I wouldn’t have control in such a situation.

In psychology I learned the difference between internal control, and external control. If you ask a person you just met if they’d steal a car, and they say, “No,” ask them why.
If they answer “Because I would go to jail,” then they haven’t matured beyond the age of about 5. They only control themselves because of the consequences (external control. “I’ll get a spanking if I do that!)
If they answer, “Because it would be wrong,” then you know they’re a grown up. That’s internal control

Most of the prison populations never learned internal control.

No.

It depends on the context, but in many situations – yes, absolutely.

@Coloma ” Agreed, sometimes rules, protocol and laws certainly can be ignored or adjusted dependent on circumstance. I don’t use my turn signal when turning off my rural highway when there is no other ca in sight for miles. I think we’re talking more about situational ethics and morality breaches that cause harm to others than bending the rules in situations where doing so would cause no harm.”

The thread starter neither said nor implied anything of the sort. In fact they pretty much said the question was without qualifiers and could be something as simple as violating traffic laws. So yes, despite your protests to the contrary, you cheat.

@Darth_Algar I disagree. Not using a turn signal when there is absolutely no one around to see said signal is not, even remotely, close to “cheating.” You know, if a tree falls in the forest thing…if there are no eyes to see my signal then there is no point in signaling. haha

Reminds me of a commercial. “Steve is the only person who would use his turn signal in a jungle.”

NO…I love my boyfriend and it is completely wrong. There is no one else I want…I would not even put myself in that situation to be tempted. Even if I knew there was a chance I don’t think I could continue the relationship without it haunting me.

@Coloma

So the rules only apply when convenient? When they’re inconvenient they don’t apply and it’s “not cheating”?

Are you still carrying on about turn signals in a deserted area @Darth_Algar? Turn signals are to give other drivers a heads up. If there are no other drivers, why bother?

It’s not about whether I have an issue with using turn signals or not. I readily admit that I would cheat. What I’m talking about is @Coloma‘s insistence that we are bad people if we’re willing to cheat, and her insistence that her disregard of traffic laws when it suits her isn’t cheating, while the thread starter has made it clear that the question applies even to traffic laws.

@Darth_Algar

Darth, Darth, Darth, really, you’re just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.
Traffic laws are not the same thing as cheating. Cheating involves intent to deceive, there is no intent to deceive when one chooses to jay walk or not use their turn signal. Those behaviors are tight out there in the open and while they may be infractions of the law, they are not “cheating.”

Is a speeder “cheating? No, they are balls out speeding for everyone, including the cops to see. I would call this disregard for the law but not “cheating.”
I never said anyone that cheated in some tiny, incidental manner, on the occasional occasion was a “bad person.” I was addressing the big ticket issues like infidelity, conning little old ladies out of their life savings and other things of a heartless fuck nature.

Don’t put words in my mouth and assign trumped up accusations please. I originally said that yes, stealing a candy bar is not as bad as stealing a car but that stealing is still stealing. Cheating is still cheating, big or small, but there are, obviously, degrees along with degrees of harm just like violating the law. Not using one’s turn signal is not the same as driving drunk and mowing down a mother pushing a baby stroller and yes, a compulsive liar and cheater is a bad person.

Interesting discussion on the meaning of cheat. Does cheating necessarily require deception. Suppose a business flagrantly disobeys a law but pays off the police to look the other way. Is that cheating?

For the above discussion, I would make a distinction between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. If you do not use your turn signal when there is no traffic, the spirit of the law is still being upheld. The purpose of the turn signal is let others know your intentions. It is not really necessary to use a turn signal if nobody is around.

@LostInParadise Exactly. I’d say that cheating, almost always, does involve some measure of deception and the scenario you pose above would be along the lines of bribery, which would have deceptive intent, to pay someone off to avoid the consequences of the law.

NO.
Better to talk with your partner about what needs to change.
Communicate with your partner…perhaps they are not getting what they need in the relationship as well?
Better to release someone then keeping up appearances or cheating on them.

@Inspired_2write This is about all kinds of cheating, not just sexual. I made the same mistake, originally, so to truly answer we have to answer whether we would cheat in any capacity, like when playing a game or on a test, etc.

Is it cheating if you’re an atheist, but want to start a religious church for a living, because churches get so many tax breaks and donations that the pastors can become rich?
Hmmm. The parishioners believe they’re getting something for their money. Is what they’re getting any less than what they’re getting from pastors who are religious?

@Dutchess_III I saw that question, I passed, talk about a loaded question, I didn’t have the energy to dive into that deep pool of duplicity. haha

@Seek summed it up in one word; “Asshole.” LOL!!

Is it cheating if a cop doesn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign, even when he appears to be in no hurry?

^ Not cheating, skirting the law, unless there are no other cars around for miles or it is an emergency situation.

No, there was oncoming traffic (I was one. That’s how I saw it.) It was just one of those situations, that we all take advantage of sometimes, where if we come to an actual stop we’ll miss that window to get in right then.

Is it cheating if you tuck a preschooler in to bed, then tell them you’ll be “right back,” so they’ll just relax and go to sleep already, then don’t go right back? My ex did this once to our oldest. He told my Mom and I about it. My Mom said, “And you didn’t go back in?” He laughed and said, “No!” like wasn’t he a clever guy. We both looked at him shocked.

Is it cheating when you’re going to your HS class reunion, and you ask to borrow an old sweatshirt from you BIL (who is a coach at your old school) so it will look like it’s a well-loved and well-worn shirt of your own? (It’s a weekend long deal. The first night, Friday, is a tailgate party before a football game, hence the sweatshirt.)

@Dutchess_III No, neither are, cheating. The first, was just choosing to disobey the laws and not returning to the childs room is just plain lying and the second, while a bit deceptive is not “cheating” unless the H.S. reunion committee specifically bans wearing old class sweatshirts that don’t belong to you. haha

LOL! Another one: If you burn one side of a kid’s grill cheese sandwich, is it cheating to present it with the non-burned side up? :D

Re the lying to the child. I agree, 100%. I have an almost 3 year old grand daughter who resists taking naps. OMG does she resist it! But she really needs one. When I go babysit her and her baby brother, at noon I put brother down for a nap and tell my grand daughter that it’s “Quiet Time.” I explain that she does not need to go to sleep, but she has to stay in her room, and play quietly for 30 minutes.
Yesterday I gave her the option of going to the family rec room in the basement for quiet time. I set the timer for 30 minutes. When it went off I went to check on her hoping she was asleep. She was not. However, I could sense that if I just waited 10 more minutes she’d fall asleep.
She didn’t see me come down because her back was to me, curled up on the couch.
I went ahead a told her she could come up if she wanted to because 30 minutes was up.

It was a promise, man.

It’s totally cheating if a cop turns on his lights to get through a red light without stopping, when he doesn’t have any reason to be turning his lights on otherwise.

@Dutchess_III – Cheating would be slipping the kid Benadryl, and then bragging at your skill at getting kids to bed on time.

I used to be glad when my middle kid had a cold and I actually had a valid reason for giving her Benadryl! She was a tough one to get to sleep too.

OK ok! So is it cheating if you take a cop to your high school graduation party at the lake, and he flashes his badge at the admission gate and says, “I’m working this event,” so you get in free? True story!

Yes, that’s cheating.

I’ve totally done that, though. Not with a cop, but with my hubby. “Hi there, Our Favourite Bouncer Ever, how’s the kids? Can I carry that case of beer backstage for you? Our buddy’s playing tonight and we’d like to say ‘hi’.”

LOL! I did it with a cop! He also got me in free to see my first porn movie, ever. They panicked a little when they saw him because they’d been busted the week before.
How did I like the porn? Boring. Often disgusting.

@Coloma _“Darth, Darth, Darth, really, you’re just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.
Traffic laws are not the same thing as cheating. Cheating involves intent to deceive, there is no intent to deceive when one chooses to jay walk or not use their turn signal. Those behaviors are tight out there in the open and while they may be infractions of the law, they are not “cheating.”“_

No, you’re re-writing the thread starter’s terms for your own convenience. Cheating is, simply put (and backed up by the thread starter’s stated intention) is breaking the rules. Regardless of your intent. The rules are the rules and if you break them you’re cheating.

You break the rules when it suits you. That’s fine. We all do, but at least be honest about it like the rest of us.

*(Apologies for the delayed response. I haven’t been on much lately.)

@Darth_Algar I was not re-writing the thread starters terms for my own convenience, I am just arguing against semantics. Okay, the Websters definition of “Cheating” is to break the rules for personal gain, which may involve lying, which is deceptive intent. IMO, breaking a traffic rule does not involve deception, though it does involve personal gain in some instances. Not in the instance of not signaling when there is nobody around for miles. Behaviors such as sexual cheating, financial cons, all cons such as claiming to have replaced parts when none were replaced, etc. all involve deceptive intent not just breaking the rules.

There’s the rub, I still claim that true “cheating” always involves deception or the intent to deceive, which doesn’t apply to simply breaking the rules.
Semantics, semantics, we’ll just have to let this one go.

Well, in that case, I “cheat” all the time.

@Coloma Actually, yeah, you are. And this is not at all a semantic argument. Cheating doesn’t necessarily involve deception – think of, say, a lender who’s terms can be so predatory that they effectively cheat a person out of their money. Yet this is not deception. The terms are, afterall, right there in writing for all to see. Nor is deception necessarily cheating. At a poker table I might try to deceive my opponents and make them think that I have a better hand than I actually do (with the hope of causing them to fold, thus winning the hand and the money). But this is not cheating, as deception is a part of the game.

@Darth_Algar You are making part of my point though. Signaling in non-traffic or predatory lenders, the action/terms ARE out there for everyone to see, agreed, not deceptive precisely because of the actions/terms not being concealed under a veil of deceptive intent. I think I am getting hung up on semantics as I would also not call bluffing in a Poker game to be deceptive, strategic yes, but strategy is not exactly deception, agree there in terms of playing games that involve strategy.
Oh well, we’ve beat this horse to death now, I don’t have any more Aces up my sleeve, what about you? lol

In my area, there are no actual laws about turn signal use. It is, however, illegal to change lanes within 70 feet of an intersection.

Depends how big a harm would be done. And if it’s for the greater good, why not?

No! We-e-ll, yes, maybe…

but probably not.