Social Question

idream3r's avatar

Why don't women approach guys they like?

Asked by idream3r (439points) September 22nd, 2016

I am not sure if its is culture difference. Where I am from women are not afraid to approach men they like. However in America it is a bit different. From my personal experience, women want the guy to make the first move always. When they see a guy they like, they just stare or try to catch their attention. Most of the time the guys is not paying or attention or notices them.

Why not just walk up and start a conversation. I know people say fear of rejection. However you don’t know until you try. My fiends often tell me women try to catch my attention or stare at me. Unfortunately they choose to tell me after the fact.

For some reason when I was younger things were not like that. I am 27 and back in middle and high school most girls were not afraid or shy to express their feelings for a boy. Not sure what happened. I don’t know if social media has something to it.

What are your opinions? I am from Africa by the way.

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9 Answers

Zaku's avatar

Not always. I have been approached, sent invitations, engaged in physical activities, etc., by some women, including Americans in America as first moves. Some have even said that is the almost-exclusive way then get involved with men – not that they weren’t flirted with a lot, but that they always made the real first moves.

Also women do a lot of starting conversations and dropping of all sorts of clues and hints and signs, and tons of that goes unrecognized by many guys. I think many guys miss most/all these flirtations. Also because women also talk to men all the time without meaning to flirt, and we often can’t tell the difference. Or like has happened to me, I get notes with no way of knowing who it is.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Some women do, some women don’t. It depends on the woman, on their relationship with the man they like etc., on the man and what they know about him.

kritiper's avatar

They do. But in their own way. They send signals!

cazzie's avatar

I’m not sure I understand. How do you know they don’t?

Seek's avatar

This is a good article on the topic: http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/02/why-women-dont-approach/

I’d also add that as a person who is long out of the dating market, it’s incredibly annoying to have every dude on earth assume you’re coming on to them because you start a conversation about beer with them. Like, excuuuuse me for being friendly. I’ll go back to the internet where I can hide behind a screen.

Lonelyheart807's avatar

From my individual standpoint, I am horribly shy.

ucme's avatar

Oh but they do, those that don’t probably decline out of a misguided, half arsed sense of relationship etiquette…whatever that outdated shit is.

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