Older women: did you have a hope chest? Did your mother or grandmother?

I got married at age 34. Like you, I’d been on my own for many years. I was a homeowner; I’m an avid cook, so I’d fully-stocked the kitchen; I had all the furnishings I could need. So, I guess that in lieu of a home chest, I had what was called “my condominium”!

Some of my cousins did have hope chests. They either received the chests from their parents, when they were very young, or from their finances, after they’d become engaged. One cousin had collected a full collection of Waterford stemware before her marriage.

I got bullied into having a wedding I didn’t want (another story for another day). I got dozens of gifts that I didn’t need. I’ve been married for 25 years, and many of those gifts are still unused, in their original boxes and in storage. It makes me sad to think that all those people went to such effort, and spent so much money, on such things.

We (my sisters and I) had no such thing, and having done a boatload of reading, I knew what it was, and asked my mother about it. She had been raised with great privilege, and told me the whole concept was “tacky” and she didn’t want to talk about it. My mother has always been convinced that most of the rest of the population is “NOKD”. I’m guessing, from her response, that it was not something her family ever had anything to do with.
(My mother’s kind of a pill.)

I bought a chest for myself when I was 18, and began filling it on my own with bits and bobs I liked. By the time I finally moved out of my parents’ house shortly before my 21st birthday, I had some nice things saved up, mostly for the kitchen and dining rooms.

Know what it is but neither I nor my Mom had one. Not really a part of our culture as far as I know.

My mother had one, but she didn’t want it or really use it. It used to be in my grandmother’s house. I have it now. I keep bedding and stuffed animals in it. It reminds me of my grandmother more than my mother.

In the UK the common term is bottom drawer. We couldn’t afford fancy chests.

@canidmajor I’m literally laughing at NOKD. I’ve always heard it as NOCD (“not our class, dear”). I’ve been known to use that one in an occasional snarky-fit.

@tinyfaery There’s nothing like a cedar chest to store bedding, sweaters, etc.

My mother has one and when I turned 16 she made dang sure that I had one. It’s a beautiful cedar chest that I got to pick myself. It’s more of a storage chest now. My daughters didn’t want one.

I have a few cedar chests that I bought over the years. None of them were ever hope chests. They’re not something from my parent’s background. I think my mother learned about them when I started buying hope chest contents at auctions.

Gosh yes. and I had completely forgotten about it until this question. I moved to Rhodesia in the 70s and learned about hope chests whilst there. I had just left the UK and had never heard of them prior to living in Rhodesia.

Mine had a few pillow cases, and ornaments and towels etc., when we moved to South Africa I think we left it behind.

We have two big cedar chests. We are not certain but we believe that they are, or rather were, hope chests. One belonged to my wifes’ grandmother,(born 1896) the other belonged to her spinster aunt (1901). We think the older one may have been handed down from her great-grandmother.

Now they hold blankets, pillows, etc at the foot of a couple of beds in the master and guest bedrooms.

Not a traditional hope chest but I had my grandmothers cedar chest for years and kept my wedding dress and blankets and other things in it. It weighed a ton, and I eventually sold it as my daughter wasn’t interested in it. Along with my grandmothers 1906 upright grand Mahogany Piano that I moved around several times over the years. Talk about anchors, I don’t miss either of those barges. haha

These are very real reminders that women had no rights once they got married. They couldn’t have their own bank account or rent or own property or engage in commerce. Collecting things before marriage was a way a woman could have things she wanted without having to ask her husbands permission.

My mother had a cedar chest she sometimes referred to as a “Hope Chest.” She or dad painted it black which made it ugly. I gave it to my daughter fifteen years ago and she painstakingly removed every inch of black paint and now it looks so nice. She has put her wedding dress and veil in there so her daughter can wear it for her wedding.
I can’t remember what mom put in it except for one thing: a New Testament that my grandmother gave my dad for his eighteenth birthday. It is about 3.5” high and 3” wide and the cover is brass and snaps shut. It was so exciting to open it and find a tiny photo of my dad, my mom and her sister at the beach. Mom and her sister are teenagers in the photo. It was in there for ages because it left a faded “square” on the adjacent page. Then in the front is an inscription my grandmother wrote for dad.
I think , but am not sure, that dad was an Atheist. He absolutely wasn’t a Christian. For what that’s worth which is very little I suppose.

I’ve never been married but my mom has a chest with some treasured things in it and so do I.

I have a lot of treasured things all over the house.