Younger women: Do you live in a society where brides are still expected to have a dowry?

What can I get for $31 and 3 cup of soups?

No, but I would love that. Here there are just contracts and prenups.

My grandma has a lot of gold in her home. She knows she can’t last for long in this world so she wants to share all the gold for her kids. When she gave my family her gold, she told me to exchange them all for jewelry. It sounded unreasonable as I could think of many other ways to use the gold, like putting them aside for a rainy day. I asked her why, and she told me that the jewelry was going to be my dowry when I got married, something I could use to impress the husband’s family. My family didn’t listen to her though. We put them aside instead.

Other than that I have no real experience with dowries. But I sometimes hear that joke of “saving money for marriage” among women, which I guess is referring to dowries. I really hate dowries. I can feel something status-biased about them. If a woman can’t prove she has enough money, does it mean no more hope for her to marry?

I used to teach English to a family from Yemen. The girls said that the jewelry was for them to use in case of great financial hardship, such as if they were widowed, and needed to use it to survive.

The UAE women have a specific gold they collect. It’s ridiculous.

I thought a dowry is a gift to the husband or his family to “take” the bride. Women cost men money. You know, you have to feed them and clothe them. I never think of dowry as money or jewelry for the woman. To me gifts to the bride are just that gifts. They might have underlying meanings either sentimental, family inheritance, or to have something in case she needs to flee.

No. We do still help our daughters create their hope chests though. Grandmother and mothers contribute.

Where are you, @MollyMcGuire? UK?

“A dowry is a transfer of parental property at the marriage of a daughter. Dowry contrasts with the related concepts of bride price and dower. While bride price or bride service is a payment by the groom or his family to the bride’s parents, dowry is the wealth transferred from the bride’s family to the groom or his family, ostensibly for the bride. Similarly, dower is the property settled on the bride herself, by the groom at the time of marriage, and which remains under her ownership and control.” (Wikipedia link)