Need you guys so bad this time: Essential tips before first date.

Try to avoid stressing so much. The fact that it’s not a one-on-one, candlelight and violins kind of date works strongly in your favor. You’re meeting the girl – and her friend – in the daylight. The only way you can screw this up is if you put too much pressure on the situation or on yourself.

Relax. She wants to meet you in the daylight with her friend to assure herself that you’re not a charming axe murderer. The fact that she’s meeting you at all is indication that she’s interested. All you have to do now is not be an axe murderer.

Seriously. Be light, casual, friendly – your normal charming self, in other words.

As far as “where to go, and what to do”, ask her what she’d like to do, or what she would do if she were in your town on her own, and then plan accordingly.

And don’t be an axe murderer.

If in doubt say nothing at all, or as little as possible. Smile a lot, until things start to warm up and you can let conversation run naturally. Just try to be yourself. That is, assuming you’re not an axe murderer. If you are then don’t be yourself. Be a cat.

It’s just lunch. You know the best deli in town right? Go have a sandwich and for now forget that you have a romantic interest. She’s bringing a friend along so you won’t be able to have any intimate conversation. Just talk about whatever common interests brought you together on the Internet. If she’s willing to see you again alone then you will have more reason to be nervous.

Okay, settle down. First of all, dress a “half step” above the standard for where you are going. If it is a t-shirt and shorts place, wear a nice polo or short sleeve shirt. If it is a business casual place, wear a nice shirt, slacks, and a sweater.

And let her know what you will be wearing. “I’ll be in jeans and long sleeve shirt” gives her a clue so that she doesn’t feel over or under dressed.

And even if they try to chip in, pick up the check and leave a good tip. If they really want to split it, just say “next time you can pay”.

Ask questions. And if either of them ask you, answer honestly but shortly, and get them to talk about themselves.

Be polite and friendly to the girl who is the “wing man” but remember to not focus on her, focus on your date.

666 Good advice. Ask them about themselves. People love talking about themselves, and that will free you up from having to talk yourself, or to be witty or whatever. And when she asks you about you you won’t have to force anything.

To expand on what @CWOTUS said, don’t even think of using some other implement of destruction or utensil either

Opt for a street view or sidewalk cafe type setting, somewhere trendy, upbeat and lively but not too noisy; you want to be able to hold a decent three-way conversation without yelling over the music or other patrons.

Don’t eat somewhere where you can make a mess (Spaghetti, Chili Cheeseburger, and the like) or if you do order something that is easy to eat without the chance of spillage. Stay away from the onions, garlic and such.

See if you can shower immediately beforehand (not implying anything here, it is just cooling, refreshing and relaxing).

Wear clean underwear.

And smile…......a lot, but not in a creepy, spatula killer way

Yeah. Do NOT smile at her like this.
Smile at her like this.

Don’t try to relearn how to smile; that will come naturally if you’re having a good time. You’ve already clicked online; use some of what you know about her already to start the conversation. Try to think of it as getting to know someone and not be too invested in the outcome. A first date is only a meet and greet.

And FWIW, I don’t think any guy I’ve met has picked up the whole tab when I’ve offered to split. You can feel your way on that but don’t be insistent – especially since there is a third party there too.

My Mom used to tell me, “If you’re having a good time, they probably are too.”

Take it from me – I am the Queen of First Dates. :-)

Good advice above.

I’d wear my favorite usual clothes that I like, assuming they’re freshly cleaned. I’d take them to a place I particularly liked and that is also very non-intimidating and quiet and not too busy, and that has a variety of things to choose from.

Be recently bathed. Don’t try to be cool or prepare anything to say. Be yourself.

Friends do sometimes do that. So be friendly to both, but not more friendly to the friend. Relate to them as people. Like they are akin to young female relatives of yours, but not.

The less you think about it and worry, the better. Get that it is not a big deal. The world is full of BILLIONS of women.

A girl that bring her bestie with her when she goes for a date with someone in a public place indicates the lack of trust (unless her bestie is nosy and wish to be involved).

I can tell you to just act the way you are, it’s clichè, but it’s true. What you need to wear? Well, that depends on what you like to convey to them. If you’re athletic and play basketball you can wear your sport shirt, especially the sleeveless ones, girls like guys who play sports. In general you can simply wear a neutral color (white, black, or grey) jumper and complement that with jeans of relevant shade, black and blue would be nice. You want your appearance to describe who you really are or what you’re doing in your life so to not giving her a false impressions, first impression is important, and some girls have expectation in what their potential partners should be like and may subconsciously judge you based on your appearance alone even though the general rule is to accept you the way you are. Don’t forget that a nice hairstle (unless you’re wearing hat, etc) is just as important too. If you look decent/cool and smell OK then you’re good to go.

Where to eat? Since they’re probably new to your town they’ll expect you know how to show them around the area, and this include introducing them to your local delicacies. Pick a well known local eatery that is affordable, has nice environment, and a place that won’t be too crowded at the particular time when you take them there. You can ask first what type of food they like to eat then decide the place. If they say it’s up to you then take them to your recommended place. Don’t pick messy food to eat, and certainly no food that makes your breath smelly. After you all have had your lunch and if there’s still a lot of time you probably want to take them to play around the town, or at least walk around the town to introduce them to some of the local entertainment or facilities over there and see/ask them if they want to try.

All in all, just enjoy your time, don’t think too much about it, and treat them like you’re going out with your cousins or new friends. Good luck to you.

I think they’re traveling together, @Unofficial_Member. That was my impression, anyway. She and her bestie are on a road trip and this is one of the stops.
However, I can tell you no girl would mind having some back up on a first blind date with a man they’d never met. It’s not a question of trust. It’s a question of caution.

My recommendation for a first date is something that requires you to be active and engaging in an activity.

“Just coffee” or “just lunch” is passive. It requires people to entertain themselves, usually with conversation, and when you’ve just met someone you might not know what to talk about (especially if you’re trying to be on your best behaviour).

First dates should be fun. A kitschy local carnival, the town’s chili cook-off, even a Dave and Buster’s, is better than some quiet diner and an hour of awkward pauses.

Don’t be afraid to be weird. You’re looking for a place that offers people-watching and plenty of stimuli to comment on. It also teaches you a lot about a person. How does she react when she loses at ring-toss? Did she just make a racist comment about that guy? Wow, she ordered a deep fried Snickers bar AND a dark beer!

There’s wisdom in @Seek ‘s advice. The “3rd wheel” girlfriend in particular makes an excursion date a better prospect than any effort hinting at intimacy. That carnival suggestion in particular is a goodie. An afternoon at the zoo, the horse races or (if she’s enthusiastic) the museum are excellent opportunities for everyone to feel at ease and avoid awkward lulls in conversation.

@Dutchess_III Oh, really? nobody would want a thrid wheel when they know they’re going out for a date. The girl must have known this too. She could have taken the ‘caution’ because she didn’t trust him, or at least didn’t trust him enough to have personal time with her. It’s actually OK if she does this for the first time but a repeat date with ‘extra-company’ will be annoying, wouldn’t you agree?

I bet this must be the reason that inspire your new question. Haha.

@Unofficial_Member They probably live hundreds of miles apart!! The purpose of her road trip is to go home on vacation. She is driving down the road for hours. She is making a side trip, on the way home, to meet the guy. Why in the world would she go and dump her friend at the mall for a few hours so they could meet? Why couldn’t her friend just come along too?

Hey...@Joell...I just thought of something. Maybe you could bring a friend with you too?

The problem I see with an excursion first date – although there is much to recommend it – is knowing whether the other person likes that activity. I would not want to do something where I had to do a sport on a first date because I am terribly self-conscious about my lack of hand-eye coordination – although I have dragged most of my datees out for a walk on the boardwalk on first dates. So if it is an activity, make sure the other person is up for doing it first.

Since most of us do meet online first, there is a supposition that we know a bit about each other so “just coffee” or “just lunch” to talk and assess possible chemistry is common. However, if you can find an activity that sparks more natural conversation, that’s great.

I don’t know that I’d call this a date, as much as a “meet and greet.”

Hmm, her friend jollies along too…under no circumstances are you to suggest a threesome.
Unless of course it is offered to you on a plate, then it would be rude not to, plain bad manners.

Please keep in mind, the main reason for her road trip is to go home for vacation. @Joell is on the way, and she wants to meet him. She’s interested, so she’s willing to go out of her way. And I bet she likes him. He’s a good guy. (Only, I wouldn’t wear the shirt you have on in your Avatar. Just sayin!)

Well, it was never the trust issue, (besides even if it was I would totally be okay with that) for as a development in the story her bestie has already left for home and she’d be stopping by alone to meet me (booyah). But it still stays a meet up at lunch anyways. Yes it was a side trip to my town ‘cause they both live in the same town and study in another, and mine just falls in the middle. @Dutchess_III just got it right and yes, I won’t be wearing that shirt! :)
Your suggestions have been very very helpful and I’m ticking the squares. Besides if only I knew whether girls are into kind of calm restaurants with sophisticated food or those local happening cheap eateries which me and my boys always hang out at. I want to show her out and make it exciting yet not make it exhausting for her cause she’d still have a journey that evening.

You could… ask her. I know, it sounds crazy. Asking people what they like instead of trying to guess. It’s weird. But seriously, ask her. She might like the local brewpub. (I know I do)

@Joell I’m with @Seek. There is no one answer for what “girls like” – she’s an individual. Come up with a couple of suggestions and let her choose. And – try to have fun!

Yeah! Just ask here where she’d like to eat, and name off a few places that are unique to your area!

…A calm, sophisticated restaurant isn’t quite the right venue for someone whose been driving for hours, and who is going to get right out of the car to eat. Unless it’s casual dress.