Have you ever wondered what dirt is in your past (details inside)?

No need to wonder. There’s plenty of dirt, and undoubtedly my share of volunteers eager to stir it up.

Dirt is near and dear to me as a kid that was pretty much all I had to play with. Dirt is very versatile…it can be molded into little balls that you can hurl at others you simply want to irritate….you can spread the dirt out into a flat layer on the ground and then draw whatever it is that needs to escape your little skull…pant some seeds into dirt and you have a yummy snack in a few months….you can wait for a summer rain storm to turn that dirt into a wondrous mud soup that you get to roll in to your hearts content…dirt is amazing

@Cruiser, I’m an admirer of dirt too: humble, honest dirt, versatile and enduring. Everything we are and everything we have would pretty much come to a halt without dirt. No wonder it was one of the traditional four elements. Also worth remembering and respecting: its lowly dweller, the earthworm.

Insane ex wife who would probably up her deranged attempts to blackmail/extort money from me with her delusional paranoid schizo bizarre drunk bender versions of the fights she provoked. Lots of forum rants about my political opinions and ideas about alternate economies and how if elected I would send the military after whalers and wildlife poachers and deforesters, and abolish many corporations. :-D

I’m a twice divorced woman. No WAY could I get elected.

No dirt just true grit…

I probably wouldn’t pass muster. There are way too many things that I’m sure the Inquiring Public would like to have explained before allowing me to represent them. God, what a nightmare that would be. BUT, on the high side, I did pass muster with the State of Florida in order to get and maintain a nursing license and a gun permit. The investigation concerning the gun permit actually turned up something the Board of Nursing didn’t—something I had forgotten entirely.

In Florida, you can’t get a gun permit if you have had any arrests related to substance abuse or domestic violence. They address arrests, not convictions, which I think is just a bit unconstitutional because anybody can be arrested for anything at anytime.

Anyway, around 2005, I took a gig as a body guard and courier and decided I needed to carry a gun, so I went down to get a gun permit. The background check is supposed to only take three days. After a week, I called the guy and he said there was a problem. He said the Cook County Sheriff in Chicago had an outstanding warrant on me. I said that was wierd because I hadn’t set foot in Cook County since 1973. He said that was about right. I had a warrant out on me for contributing to the delinquency of a minor from April, 1973, and they decided to drop it, but it still would prevent me from getting a gun permit.

So, I called the Cook County people and they went into this deal where I had been popped for buying alcohol for a minor. I told them that on that date in ‘73 I was the minor and I bought nothing that night. I was at my brother’s wake who had been killed three days earlier on the railroad and before I was to escort his body back home to our mother, the railroad guys—a few of whom served with him in Vietnam—took me down to their little railroad bar and everybody got shitfaced. I was an angel-faced skinny brat, 6’ 2” and 160 lbs wet. A bunch of non-railroaders entered the bar and a huge brawl suddenly broke out—chairs flew, guys fell onto tables and flattened them, shit was flying through the air—it was like an old western film. The guys shoved me under the table. We all ended up down at the county jail. I don’t remember much until my big sister came down, bailed me out and pushed me, sick as a dog, onto the plane carrying my brother’s body to Florida.

I was the minor being contributed to.

Everything was expunged and I got my permit.

I don’t have to wonder. I was there. I know.

If I thought I were in danger of being elected to something, I’d probably have to invent some dirt as insurance.

Boy, did I have dirt in my past! At first it was mostly chemicals and pesticides. I just let the dirt sit, for several years of rain, snow and dry weather. Then, after I re-cleared it, I had dirt again. Then someone gave me a load of shit. It came from a stable where the equines ate healthy food, and it had composted for almost a year. I spread that shit all over my dirt! Then I tilled, and toiled, and turned all that shitty dirt into soil for my garden!